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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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i know it doesnt matter.... its my fault... i admit it.
but to know me...
for the prelude go to...
http://iomfats.org/aboutme/fear/terrortales/marc/
When I finally left the academy I went straight into University. Within the first three months of my first semester I received an assignment which required some level of research so off to the library I went. As I gathered the materials for my assignment I found myself in an aisle and reaching for a book I found myself in contention with an interloper who was trying to get that self same book.
Rick… he had a similar assignment, same course, different class and professor… go figure! God he was cute! Realizing that we both needed the material we decided to pool resources and share the book. We made arrangements to get together to compare notes and so on.
As things go with school… we met for a few study sessions and began to become good friends. Our interests were very similar. We liked the same music, foods, books, movies…
I don’t remember if it were I or he that made the first move… it doesn’t matter… in the span of several seconds we progressed from being school friends to head over heels, passionately, forevermore in love…
We were together for almost 13 years… We did everything together… Our life together was a whirlwind of magical times… We fell into a part time occupation that yielded vast amounts of cash, social contacts, travel and all the perks that go along with a degree of fame and fortune.
We were able to afford the finest education possible… We lived a dream only realized by very few of that time…
When we were to finish grad-school… we allowed things to settle down and we began to establish ourselves in careers. I went into teaching and Rick … of all things… investment banking… he was so good with money… I wish I was one tenth as bright with it…
In just 4 years he had made vice president of a prestigious investment house and we were going to celebrate… That was on February 21, 1980….
That was the night I lost him… We were walking from a quiet intimate dinner at our favorite Italian restaurant to a get together at a friend’s place a few blocks away. He wanted to call a cab but as it was only four blocks I convinced him that we should just walk.
It was the biggest mistake of my life…..
As we walked, a car stopped and in just several seconds we were beaten with bats and stomped with boots… Rick tried to place himself between them and me… they centered their rage on my Ricky… I remember the sound as if it were a clarion call… I watched as one of the boys swung an aluminum bat and caught Rick on the side of his head. He crumbled to the ground. A second later a car turned a corner and their lights flashed in our direction… with several kicks in my chest, face and legs they jumped into their car and sped off.
I held rick as best I could. I tried to hold him together but I couldn’t. he slipped through my fingers there on the street. He looked so frightened. And in a second he was gone.
I woke in the hospital. Ribs taped, jaw set, arm, shoulder, hand, ankle, leg in a cast… I was told that it was four days after the night in the street… I was also told that I would not be able to attend the services for my Ricky… they said it was too dangerous for me to be moved just then… I was kept there for nearly 17 weeks… in that time I was visited by detectives, who obviously didn’t give a rats ass about catching the people that did this…
Eventually I was released from the hospital… I returned to the loft… something happened, I fell apart emotionally… it’s been a living hell ever since…
this was not easy to do
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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jack
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Likes it here |
Location: England
Registered: September 2006
Messages: 304
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Hi Marc,
that is a real sad thing to happen,Sad things do happen in life and the trauma associated with it stays with us.
Yes talking about it does help the healing process, or i like to think help us to accept what has happened.
But life does go on, and this is it,lots of happiness if you open a window and let the light in.
But you have to make the moves, people like shrinks can only help open a door, the rest is upto you.
If i look back in life i have had some terrible things happen, but you know what there have been more happy times.
sometimes we get stuck in the past, yes it is difficult and you can jump to the next hook for the lift, its not easy.
You have heard all this before but please listen to some of what people say.
Regards Jack. (people do love you)
life is to enjoy.
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Dear Marc,
1980 was twentyseven years ago. Tell me it was a typo, please.
But if you have been grieving like this for 27 years it's going to be very hard to find a way to help.
You were together with Ricky for 13 years and that ended 27 years ago and you will have been about 18 or 20 to be at college so you must be 58 or 60 now. Can that be right? I am worried that my guesses about you are going to offend you. Tell me to stop and I will.
I was 73 in December and was thinking of you as quite a young guy compared with me. I don't think I've had any tragedies in my life so far. I'm not practiced in dealing with them. I don't know if I could handle one. It's making me quite anxious just imagining it.
I want to help and I very much don't want to upset you. Please don't let me.
Love
Anthony
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Dearest Marc,
I know that me and you have not always seen eye to eye, and I think that this is why we rev each other up so much.
But it has happened, and it was more explosive than I though it would be, and I am really not quite sure what to say... :'-(
I am scared in so many ways. I am scared that no one will ever want me, I am scared that no one will ever love me, scared that I will loose it all, and most of all I am scared that I will get old and die alone, knowing that the love I got was never equal to the love I gave.
It is said that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, and I think that those that say this have never loved.
To let go of love is a life breaker, but to loose love like you did is soul destroying. I am truly sorry that you suffered the way you did, no one person should be made to live a life shadowed by lost love.
A life lived loving is a full life. So love life and live, easier said than done I know, but hey it is worth a try
Loving Regards
Michael;-)
"And so the lion fell in love with the Lamb"
"What a stupid Lamb"
"What a sick, masochistic lion"
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That was beautiful, Michael. And I want to thank both you and Marc for your honesty and candor for opening yourselves up this way. I hope this gives you both a fresh start for making the new year the best you've had in a long, long while.
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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marc...
I know what your going through and I know you will never get over it
so I will always be here by your side to hold you
We love you
me T and the pig
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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I think it helps to know what others have been through and to share experiences.
Thanks, Marc.
*hugs*
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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im not sure i should do this... but several have asked.... 
