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The Age Thing...Again [message #48334]

Tue, 15 January 2008 13:34

unsui

Likes it here

Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338

No Message Body

[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 19:41]

I disagree [message #48335 is a reply to message #48334]

Tue, 15 January 2008 14:15

timmy

Has no life at all

Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796

I disagree with you strongly. Ages all over the place lead to predators chasing vulnerable teenagers.

People are people.

Give your advice for whatever age group you understand, and allow the reader to form a view.

Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School

Re: The Age Thing...Again [message #48338 is a reply to message #48334]

Tue, 15 January 2008 14:38

saben

On fire!

Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537

People tend to give an indication of age. It may not be explicit, but in how they speak, what they talk about, they do.

Jay's given his age before. But it is also easily guessed. Even if it's not you can guess his level of experience in relationships, that's the more important thing.

I think is important that no-one here feels pressured into revealing their age- otherwise we often end up with people being downright deceptive about it. I'd rather have people hide their age than lie about it.

If you feel someone's age is relevant to your response just preface your response with "Well, it depends on your age, but generally: ..."

If they feel comfortable they'll take the hint and indicate their age group so you can answer more specifically. It's the same as any detail really- someone that is Mormon stands to need different advice to a Buddhist or a Catholic. Someone from Australia might need different advice from someone in America. I don't push for any details, though- people will tell you if it is needed, or appropriate and they feel comfortable doing so.

Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway

Re: I disagree [message #48349 is a reply to message #48335]

Tue, 15 January 2008 17:12

acam

On fire!

Location: UK
Registered: July 2007
Messages: 1849

I've raised this too and I'm not as worried as Timmy about predators misusing vulnerable teenagers - at least not on this site.

But if he wants to leave ages confidential and only to be revealed as is felt appropriate I'm not going to argue. And I agree that anyone lurking who is only thirteen probably ought to keep that fact to himself.

Perhaps we ought to categorise people: (A) those who've stopped learning and need advice and (B) those with recent valid experience who can give it.

So I'm in group A.

Love,
Anthony Wink

Re: I disagree [message #48351 is a reply to message #48349]

Tue, 15 January 2008 18:02

timmy

Has no life at all

Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796

I am in B, and will be for the rest of my life Smile

I don't mind if folk choose to give ages, but I will never make it a condition of being here

Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School

Re: The Age Thing...Again [message #48354 is a reply to message #48338]

Tue, 15 January 2008 22:05

acam

On fire!

Location: UK
Registered: July 2007
Messages: 1849

Oh, well said Saben,

I couldn't put it better and I agree.

Love,
Anthony

Re: I disagree [message #48361 is a reply to message #48349]

Wed, 16 January 2008 03:28

saben

On fire!

Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537

I'm in group A sometimes and group B sometimes.

What do you mean by stopped learning and need advice though? Isn't advice used to help learn?

Re: I disagree [message #48363 is a reply to message #48351]

Wed, 16 January 2008 07:26

timmy

Has no life at all

Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796

I just re-read group B. I canl;t be in grouop A because group A has stopped learning! But the B definition is incomplete. B + always learning is me!

Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School

Re:Young and wise vs old and needing advice [message #48371 is a reply to message #48361]

Wed, 16 January 2008 13:25

acam

On fire!

Location: UK
Registered: July 2007
Messages: 1849

Dear Saben,

It was a joke. I intended to imply that it was the oldies who really needed advice and that only the young had the recent experience necessary to give it.

Sorry it was so heavy handed. Lead balloon?

Love,
Anthony

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