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a friend with the moniker cheesecakelady asked me how i was this morning
I told her truthfully i dont know how i am feeling... I just feel hollow and ready to just endure... not tha i am depressed or anything just bored and exhausted
Now I know this sounds like another grade A bitch session from a girl and in the immortal words of Eldon one day talking on the phone "Jordie is a nice guy... but he is so damned high maintinence".
Yeah I admit i get a little clingy{hell a little... A LOT} I don't know why I do this its just lack of familial love{wow i spelled familial right}....
Most of you know my one hope and desire is to have a brother... and one reason i clung to Eldon and in turn Jon so damned much is because even though they were a good 750 miles away they still gave{tho then been busy lately i dont mind if i cant say hi} my heart such joy to think someone cared about me enough to ask how was my day and stuff {not that others here do not just highlighting my own age group}.
I honestly elsewise do not know what is going wrong with me
Just that I want someone around .
and yeah I do know I have Tony... but he cant provide what I am looking for
I need a mentor, not a lover
[Updated on: Thu, 21 February 2008 11:50] |
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Jordie, guys don't mind high maintenance requirements in their friends as long as those friends understand that sometimes our own lives need significant maintenance too. You know we're all the same age, basically, and we're all going through the same things, basically. Different schools, problems with classes, teachers, friends in trouble, friends breaking up and getting back together, boys, girls, more boys. It's all the same. My comment to a third party about your maintenance levels was due mainly to frustration the time you were all over the boards and emails demanding "where are you when I need you."
I totally understand what you mean about a brother. Jon and I are sort of your brothers, but even brothers living in the same house sometimes need to work on their own lives and pay less attention to the drama coming from the siblings. When Alan arrived on the scene this past fall as Jon's Freshman Little Brother we all were like, God what a loser! But he tried, and listened, and gradually Jon made him over into a totally cool dude, and he and Jon are as tight as brothers. I miss having a real brother too, but having Jonathan and Daniel, and Paul and Patrick make up for it.
Guys could help you Jordie, if they knew what you needed. But when you just say "I feel hollow and I don't know what's wrong with me" it's hard to offer any advice. We all feel that way sometimes.
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Jordon I know we dont talk much except on the forum, but Im always around if you want to talk. Jon and Eldon are like brothers to me and yes even I have had my share of misunderstanding and not thinking about what they go thru too. but I do know this, when the chips are down, they are always there. I get depressed sometimes cause my dad is not a part of my life, at least in a good way, and sometimes even Jeff cant make up for it. But I know I have my friends and that thought pulls me out. You just cant let it get you down. You buckle up and face the world head on.
Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you......
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Dear Jordan,
I'd like to help you but have no idea how. I guess I'm not the only one who is baffled.
What do you want from a mentor? What sort of person could do that for you (whatever it is)? When? Some of us are hours away in different time zones.
Without your guidance anyone trying to help will only be able to tell you what they would do or what they think you ought to do. But other people's wishes are probably no good to you. I'd be surprised if you got anything you want that way.
You have to decide what it is you really want and then set about trying to get it. If you tell us, maybe we will be able to help.
It all has to begin with you. If you really don't know how you feel it will be impossible to tell whether something that happens makes you feel better or worse.
You've got to be able to tell and articulate it to us.
Love,
Anthony
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what i need is like a brother that doesnt mean much just someone to talk to and be with when i or they need me
when i say i feel hollow inside its just that no one is here for me to talk to or they live in different time zones or w-e and cant be one when its my time...
i guess i do have people in my life its that sometimes they go away for ages and ages.... and for me i get like "where did you go when i need you" like donny said
If I had anyone just once in awhile {lets say from my own age group} then yeah i'd be able to talk to them and wouldnt be down on myself and sad so much.
to condense it a simple hi and hang in there i care about you from someone would work...
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Jordon, the government has a mentoring program. I really dont know if you would qualify for that or not. Im assuming your to old for the big brother programs. Since I dont know where your from its hard to know if there are any resorces in your area. I live in Tennessee and Eldon and Jon are in NC and Matt is in Utah, but were close and we each have our own lives to live and gosh knows Eldon is as busy as a one armed paper hanger, but still we find the time to say hi to each other and if one or more of us needs help, the others are there. If I could do anything to help. I hope you know I would.
Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you......
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Pennsyltuckian here...
im 16...
on msn and yahoo...
just a friend thats all i need someone to say hi to...
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