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Remember when you had to sit through the "Your Body and You" videos in health class? Well, here is one I would have loved to have been shown... I laughed my butt off. Somehow I don't think this ever played in any actual health classes. The title ia "Masturbation" and it's a how to reference.
http://www.dailymotion.com/bookmarks/JGlink/video/x3m447_masturbation-inglese_shortfilms
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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Brilliant - had me laughing so much I cried!
Even though you have to join the site to watch, it's well worth it.
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: Music and Cats." - Albert Schweitzer
It's like Mad Max out here: guys doing guys, girls doing girls, girls turning into guys and doing girls that used to do girls and guys!
- from Alex Truelove
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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That is a hoot!
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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That football player would never need to masturbate again if he lived near me. Back to work.
Incidentally, sperm does sting a little if it gets in your eyes. Why?
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Because of the salt content. Seamen is made from blood and has a high salt content.
Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you......
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Too close an interest in the AI man on the farm, donny?
Hugs
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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I don't know about that, since Jon is built very compact and muscular compared to me. Just something about this dude turned me on. Like the "Everyman" character you read about in literature, maybe he's the representative "Everyboy" who jacks off in bedrooms everywhere. Although head stand masturbation is something I personally don't advise trying.
Incidentally Jon and I have discovered a new masturbation lube that works great. Totally slippery at the beginning and as it absorbes into the skin the friction increases. You can add more to prolong the session, or let yourself go and sperm up whenever you're ready. "Aveeno" Active Naturals Daily Moisturizing Lotion. Get the Fragrance Free with natural colloidal oatmeal. Works great to lube bodies for frot too. I'm telling you, it's the best.
Boy Tested, Boy Approved.
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It's so weird. Seawater is salty as hell and doesn't sting eyes, but sweat does. So it must be something other than the salt in body fluids and in sperm that causes it to sting. The clear semenal fluid that we call precum is neutral pH and is supposed to neutralize the acids in any residual urine in the ducts. Also when girls get aroused and get wet I think their juice is neutral too to protect any sperms that get ejaculated into the vagina. So if semenal fluid is neutral, how come semen itself is more salty? I know every boy has different tasting cum and it tastes stronger if you don't get off for a day or two. Also if you drink lots of water and juices the cum gets clearer and less milky looking and there's more of it.
[Updated on: Sun, 06 April 2008 13:49] |
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Im not really sure but I think it has something to do with the eyes being super sensitive. Salt burns a cut because the nerves are exposed. I think the nerves on the eyes are right on the surface and so the salt burns. Ill try and check this out, I could be wrong, but I think Im right.
Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you......
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Although head stand masturbation is something I personally don't advise trying.
So that's why you were complaining about your neck hurting!
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Yeah... this one cracks me up. I can't believe how many banana skins I tossed away before learning that they can be recycled!
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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What Donny didn't tell you is that after we saw this vid, we naturally were driven to actually try the banana peel technique. We found it works best with bananas that are more straight than curved. Chose bananas that are very ripe but not yet brown. Cut off the end with the longest straight portion and very gently press out the pulp, leaving the skin unbroken. In other words, don't peel the banana. Then soak the pulpless skin in hot water rather than use the microwave. The hot water sort of allows the skin to stretch and fit around your cock.
Bottom line, nothing beats (pardon the pun) your best bud's greasy hand. Or better still, his mouth.::-)
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Beware! The inside of a banana skin can cause stains on your bed linen ot clothing which are far worse than spunk stains and almost impossible to wash out.
Hugs
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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We found that peach stains are the worst but OxiClean does wonders with fruit and sperm stains. Also, making love on the dark blue sheets is better for stain coverage, although the wiped up sperm leaves shiny places until the sheets are washed.
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Benji
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: August 2007
Messages: 297
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 Thanks, I'll never look at a banana the same again;-)
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So why not use the hayloft at the FarmBoy's place? That's always been the traditional rural trysting place. Just kick some hay onto the wet spots and you're done 
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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nice stereotype pauly LOL
jk
but what about us with boyfriends who dont have haylofts or acres and acres of land to hide on while screwing?
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Well first off, there's lots of stuff in hay besides just green grass! Like sometimes poison ivy! Straw is too coarse and tough without a heavy blanket over it. With enough padding straw makes a great pleasure platform, and the loft in the largest barn has been the scene of numerous interesting evenings. The light slanting through the louvers makes very erotic patterns on human bodies.
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There's been more screwing aboard Jon's sloop than in our haylofts. Not screwing exactly, since neither of us is into that. We tried, it's not for us. But really, nothing can beat a nice queen sized bed. Cold bedroom, lots of quilts and blankets, snuggled down and rootin' around! Oh, yea!
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Yea, and that's not all! Mom bitched me out big-time about the foot marks on the wall, and wondered how they got there!
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Damnit... looks like I'm moving to the country. ;-D
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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Yea, but kin y'all talk Suthern'?
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Believe it or not there are farms in the North too. You just don't get naked in the barn in the winter is all... brrrrr.
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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Farms? You mean those little bitty patches of cleared land are called farms? An all this time we were thinking they were just gardens y'all kept for a hobby. A feller learns somthin' new near abouts ever' day, don't 'e?!
Roll me in honey and throw me to the Lesbians! Farms! Who'd a ever thought it!
It gets right chilly here too y'know Paulster! We get frosts. And I don't care if it's so cold Satan himself is growin' icicles out of his ass, you get Eldon hot enough and you don't care how cold it is!!!::-)
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I thought you were the one generating all that heat under the blanket.
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Are you sure? I don't remember being under a blanket. Not in the barn. Are you sure?
What if mice are in the blankets??? What then?? I don't want a mouse crawling up my butt or anything!
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ARRGGH!!! Don't you remember those huge quilted moving pad things we forgot to take back to the U-Haul place that time and put them up in the loft? You probably can't remember what you ate for supper! THE MOVING PAD THINGS! Those were what I was talking about.
And what's all this crap about mice! You know damn well the cats get all the mice. Anyway, the kinds of stuff you eat it would have to be one brave mouse that got anywhere near your ass let me tell you! One of those death farts of yours would burn all the poor thing's fur off.
[Updated on: Wed, 16 April 2008 03:01] |
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Now if you had said quilted moving pads in the very beginning all this confusion could have been avoided! But no, you said blankets. I knew there weren't blankets up there.
And there are too mice up there because I've seen them. And heard them. I think your cats are just getting lazy. Next thing you know the mice will get totally brazen and set up a motel up in the loft and we'll have to pay to use the quilted moving pads, which SOME people insist on calling blankets, even when they KNOW that's not what they really are.
And I am hurt that you would bring my personal bodily functions into this public forum. Any of those brazen mice that have the audacity to get near my ass will get everything they have coming to them! So there. ;-D
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You're driving me crazy, so just be quiet, let me take your clothes off, get you on the pads....
....and turn the mice loose on you!!!
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I know I'm driving you crazy. I like driving you crazy. You do interesting things to me when I drive you crazy.
The nicest thing about driving you crazy?... It's such a short drive!!!
And the only mouse I want let loose on me is YOUR mouse. The Trouser Mouse. Willard The One-Eyed.
Let's go to lunch at DQ.
::-) 
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We need to let the mice loose more often in the middle of the day. Massive stress relief.
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