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Timmy, this is the letter that Jon sent to Jeff. Jon wrote me and said to copy and post the letter and that it was ok if you wanted to copy it and send it to your friend. If this will help and its not to late then its his to use. Jon is special in so many ways, Im glad he is my friend.
Dear ********,
Well this letter is going to seem totally weird and off the wall for two reasons. First off you don't know me and don't have a clue yet how I got your email address. Secondly, and this is kind of the hard part to say, this letter is going to talk about a friend of yours and a topic most guys shy away from talking about and even thinking about.
But the friend who asked me to write to you told me that you are a way wicked cool dude, liberal and accepting, and that you would at least read the whole letter before you erased it. So let's get to the first thing, who I am.
My name is Jonathan, I'm seventeen, and I live in ***********, North Carolina over on the coast. Actually on the Albemarle Sound. I'm a senior in high school. I'm in the NHS, and this semester all four of my courses are AP and I'll get college credits for them. Calculus I, Physics, Modern European History and Expository Writing. I wrestle and play baseball, and I play private league lacrosse. My parents own a sloop, and I sail with my friends on the Sound, and I am interested in classic wooden boats and yacht design. I was hoping to go to college to major in yacht design, but most likely will end up as a math major to start, and maybe teach to begin with. Over this past summer I had my first real summer job as a dock hand and restoration helper in a local marina. So I'm just a regular dude, like you..
So now comes the hard part. Over this past year, starting the previous summer, I have gradually come to some confusing and sometimes frightening realizations about myself. These feelings started when I realized I was starting to look at my best friend as more than a best friend, and that the love I have always had for him as a friend and as a brother was transforming into something much deeper, and more romantic. Please, I ask you to bear with me here, okay?
I have known Daniel since we were four, and starting in nursery school together. We grew up together, got into trouble together, had petty fights and made up, laughed and cried together, and one horrible and terrible night nearly died together when we learned that you really shouldn't drive when you are passing-out drunk. We are closer than brothers. Our friends think of as a unit, not as individuals, and invitations are issued like, "Are Daniel and Jonathan coming?" We double date with our girlfriends and travel in a gang with guys and girls like us. Maybe not the A-List kids, but not the dweebs either.
This past spring, events happened that neither Danny or I could ever have envisioned, and that long friendship because a sexually physical relationship. It's pretty scary to date girls, and like girls, and even be sexually active with girls, and then run up against the same feelings for another boy. I mean, this was totally out of the blue, and fell on the two of us like a ton of sand. We're still working through how we feel about each other.
In the intervening time, I have discovered something else about myself, and that is that my attraction to other guys isn't restricted only to Daniel. I'm starting to notice other guys our age, and have started "messing around" with another long-time friend. Danny is probably not really bi. He doesn't seem interested in guys other than me. But Eldon, my other friend and I are mosdef bi. So Eldon and I had to confront the issue of being bi, and seventeen, and in high school in rural coastal North Carolina which is not an area noted for social progress and acceptance of alternate lifestyles!!
And this brings me to how you come into this picture. I am a member of an internet support group that has members like me. Guys asking questions and talking with guys who are as confused about their feelings as I am. On this board I met and started writing to a totally cool and amazing guy my age who is in a situation sort of similar to mine. And this other guy is your friend.
This guy has known you since first grade and thinks of you as one of his best friends, if not his only best friend. He has been struggling with how he feels about you for a long time because the old friendship he feels for you has turned into something deeper then he could believe possible. This guy has fallen totally and completely in love with you Jeff. This love he has goes way, way beyond anything you have ever thought about. Believe me on this one dude, this guy has fallen over the edge for you.
The trouble is, in spite of how long the two of you have been friends, he is worried how you will take this news, so he asked me to write to you to sour of sound you out about things. There's a big difference between telling secrets up till now, and having him come out to you and admit he's in love with you all at one time. Just doing that takes major courage Jeff.
So, what I'm asking here is for you to please let me know what your real and honest feelings are about something like this. You friend loves you so much that he told me "I love ****** and want to be with him and make love with him, but I want to keep him as my friend more." That's how valuable you are to him okay? He would give up part of his dreams just to be your friend.
Iin the short time I have been writing to your friend, I have come to totally respect him as a person and I hope the two of you are able to work things out. If you have even been curious about boy-boy sex you could try it to see if it's what you've been missing. I know once I had my first real sex with my best bud, girls just faded into the background and I date them for fun and not for romance.
Ask me any questions you want and Ii'll answer them as honestly as I can, but I won't tell you the name of the friend who loves you. That's his job! Dude, honest, this could be so wonderfully excellent if you let your heart go.
Write me, okay?
Jonny
Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you......
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That letter was so excellent it actually made me cry. If I had received such a letter when I was 17 it would have totally turned my life around. You are a marvel, Jon. And you are as well, Curtis, for having the courage to follow your feelings.
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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Yes, Paul, Curtis,
My sentiments exactly. You are so lucky to know Jon - & so are we all.
Love,
Anthony
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It got Jeff and Curt together so it did the trick and worked the way we hoped it would. When I heard that I smiled for a week. Wicked excellent. Jeff wrote me, after he read the letter, and he was so relieved and so happy and so looking forward to telling Curt himself that it made me cry.
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If only someone had done this for me, either way round, when I was at university my life might have been entirely different. What a letter.
Hugs
Nigel
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I think we would ALL have willingly sacrificed love for real friendship, if it had to be a choice.
I wish someone had been there for me when I was 13. I might be friends with "my" Johnny today if so.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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