|
|
|
timmy
|
 |
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
Four houses away from me is a really active "all boy" boy, about 14 (has to be because he has a paper round), small for his age, wearing cute clothes, wayward blond hair, always out on a bike or his skateboard. An imperfectly perfect kid.
He is just the type of lad I would have fallen for when I was a teenager.
Today I am pleased that I see him as simply a gorgeous sight for the eye, almost a beautiful statue or painting. He is well worth looking at, but is absolutely unlustable after. I don't just mean "off limits", which he most certainly is, I mean that it is appreciation of aesthetics, not lust.
As a teen I would have hoped to befriend and more. Never managed, only ever hoped! I wonder if the change is because of logic and total realisation that kids absolutely do not need or want adult sexual interest, or if I am just growing up. I don't suppose it matters which, but I'm grateful it has arrived.
Now, if only I found guys of my own age attractive...... I wonder if you have any idea how lost I feel sometimes......
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dear Timmy,
Yes, forbidden beauty is hard to bear. You won't be surprised to hear that I found my daughters' boyfriends attractive or that I restrained myself pretty well. We are still friends with the ex boyfriends (well most of them) and by now they mostly know about me (and seem to accept it OK).
And now I'm finding the school friends of my grandson (he is twelve) beautiful too but I don't feel lust as I never was attracted that way to anyone under about twenty. But my grand-daughters are beautiful too and so are their friends and siblings.
And I do *think* I have some idea how you feel lost. I sometimes wonder whether I ought to give up visiting your web site and others like it and erase all the pretty pictures I've saved from the web and try simply to avoid thinking about it and doing anything that could remind me about it.
I have considered it - but I don't think I could do it. The effort of bottling it up would be too great and I'd let go long before an explosion and regret what I had thrown away.
I guess I'm good at forgiving myself and realise that I'm only doing it because I need to and that I'm doing no harm and my family still loves me.
So I think maybe feeling lost is bearable but feeling trapped or deprived may be harder. And I wish I had done some of the sort of good things that you do. For example I ought to have tried to start a GSA at the school where I was a governor. I regret that deeply. I was a coward and never was open about sexuality to the rest of them.
Well now I must go and help Anna who is nine and says I'm weird and is staying with us today because she has an upset tummy and has a project about the second world war and apparently my memories of it are relevant!
Love,
Anthony
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
unsui
|
 |
Likes it here |
Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338
|
|
|
No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 18:27] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lets really look at this. When I first met mark I thought he was as beautiful as anyone could get. Thru the years I and we have counciled young men and most of them were beautiful. I have a great Nephew and he is a doll and a real cuttie. I think the point is that young boys are beautiful, sorry girls, a slim boy is a work of art and I have even seen straight men admire a young mans body and looks. Michelangelos statue of David is a beautiful work of art, not just the sculpting but the boy himself. I dont recall him ever doing a statue of Daviette with big boobs and a soft body. Young boys and young men are just plain prettier than girls, sorry its just true.
If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
There is "the boy that even str8 boys fall in love with", too. I knew one such at school.
Even so, there is a point that seems to rise with our own age that renders a boy beautiful, but not lustable over.
Some of us take longer than others for that threshold to rise.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I am not accusing anyone of anything. I am not saying this to provoke another round of those hectic denials and back-pedallings. But postings like these make the younger members of the board very uncomfortable.
I can't understand what it must have been like for you older men, to grow into manhood knowing the love and affection you felt towards your own contemporaries was not only not returned, but was even illegal.
I can understand getting married. I can understand "trying to fit in." Honestly, I can understand these things. But doing that sort of froze your same-sexual attractions in adolescence. You never seemed to develop same-sexual attractions that matured and developed as you yourselves matured and developed. In some cases it seems that you picked an object of attraction and desire and then held onto that inspite of the attention being unrequitted. I mean no disrespect when I say it seems terrible and sad to us younger men that you are our father's ages and that you are living lives endlessly repeating "If only!" and "I should have!"
Eldon and I are virtual carbon copies of our fathers. I look at his father, and imagine Eldon at 52, and think "Shit damn, he's going to age well!" I know he'll be as attractive to me when we're out on the golf course at 57 as he is now at 17. Older, maybe a bit broader, maybe even a little bald. But inside there will still be the crazy, goofy, witty and intelligent guy I fell for.
I'm sorry for you guys who missed the train in the years long ago.
[Updated on: Mon, 21 April 2008 20:07] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I think you've picked up on something quite interesting here.
Up til my mid-teens, I was mainly interested in guys a few years older than me. After my first serious love affair, which ended fairly badly when I was 15, I started fancying guys in their mid-to-late teens ... and most of the guys I fancied until I was in my mid-30s were that age range (though my relationships were with guys my own age). In my mid-30s, I started a long-term relationship with a guy who was then 18 ... as we grew older, the age of the guys I fancied grew in step with him, so by the time we split up over a dozen years later, I was fancying guys in their thirties ... That was six years ago, I have been single since then, and am still fancying guys in their 30s. It seems as though my preferred age range can only grow older if I'm in a relationship ... almost as though I need a physical living breathing example to keep re-setting my internal clock.
Perhaps it's relevant to add that the only guy in his mid-50s (my age) that I know and currently find very attractive is a guy who I had a fair bit of "friendly sex" with when we were at school ... 36 years ago and longer.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
The discomfort is at our age, too. Can you imagine what it is like to wonder if you should talk to a good looking young man "in case he wonders if you are going to jump his bones" and is revolted (not unreasonably) by the idea?
Some of us hurt ourselves very badly. It's hard to recover from "if only" even when logic tells you that nothing was possible.
I know that, if I could have aged with a boy, any boy, with whom I had a relationship I would not be struggling with things the way I still am. It is difficult for me, at 55, to realise that I would only have a choice of men in their fifties. I could cope with having grown old with one, but I am unattracted to them as "fresh meat".
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Michael Sargeant wrote (in connection with Timmy):
>That you believe that kids do not need or want adult sexual interest is… etc<
There are some boys who do have a sexual interest in men. Sometimes it is called a crush. Throughout the time I was teaching I saw boys who were openly attracted to male teachers and willingly tarted in front of them. I can still see and name the boys that I would have willingly have taken sexually, knowing that we both would have enjoyed the experience and only being stopped by a combination of conscience, morality, professionalism, the fear of losing our jobs and these days of ending up in prison. And in the final analysis the boy would have seduced the man.
Hugs
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
I know you are right, Nigel. I was generalising, but I think my generalisation deals with the majority.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
unsui
|
|
Likes it here |
Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338
|
|
|
No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 18:26] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
You know, I suspect an approach to a 16 year old girl would be treated with revulsion in most cases too
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
unsui
|
|
Likes it here |
Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338
|
|
|
No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 18:26] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Timmy, I think I'm both reasonably mature enough and reasonably sympathetic enough to say that I do understand how you feel.
I interact with older men every day. I have two teachers this semester who are male, and between 40 and 60 I suppose, and I am very close to both of them. They have become mentors and advisors in the purest sense as well as excellent teachers. In my summer job at the marina which has already begun for me on weekends and will go full-time when I graduate high school, I interact with older men all the time, from the business owner to the skippers of the boats we service. I interact with older men on the golf course at the country club too, and my Father's professional associates. I have a wrestling coach who is like another father to me sometimes.
But there's a difference here I think, and they are talking with me because they are interested in "me" and my interests and my hopes and dreams rather than "because they find me pretty, or handsome, or sexually arousing." Perhaps some of them do find those qualities in me, but they don't show it and so don't make me ill at ease.
It's different from seeing a boy on the street who's attractive to you and just going up and striking up some conversation. Any boy is going to immediately think "why?" But these men I spoke of are strangers for the most part, and they might say things like "Nice shot young man!" on the course, or start some technical conversation on the docks. Those conversations start naturally, and then go to school, and plans for the future and a younger man like me gets the feeling that the older person is genuinely interested and wants to listen, and the conversations are good, and make me feel good too.
I have a loving and wonderful Father. Eldon has too. So does Daniel. We're lucky we get the older male attention we need through them. But still, boys crave and need older masculine attention and praise. It's how we learn to fit into the older male world.
But if you go up to some kid like me, with a leer in your eye and some sexual thoughts lurking behind your words, then yes, we're going to think we need to get out of there.
[Updated on: Tue, 22 April 2008 02:30] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I suppose some guys might say you are committing thought crimes by thinking about young people as sexual partners. My personal opinion is that thinking about that is sort of a safety valve for you, like collecting pictures of "pretty boys" is a safety valve for some other guy. As long as "thoughts are enough" and "pictures do it for you" and jacking off releases the physical needs and you're not out cruising for some 15 y/o twink to screw or suck off, then things are okay. But will thoughts and fantasies and pictures always be enough? Will the day come when you want and "need" a boy so badly that you actually find one?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
I really don't think I was talking of going up to anyone with a leer in the eye, you know  I actually get slightly horrified and tongue tied when the young man I am talking to is attractive in case it shows that I find him attractive. That is even true if I am dealing with him over a matter of business.
If we met as strangers, on (eg) Marina business, and assuming that I find you drop dead gorgeous, I suspect you would not realise that I found you attractive. Instead you might just wonder who the gibbering idiot was. The lad in my street? He is unlikely ever to realise that I even find him beautiful to behold. He's just a kid, with all his own hopes, fears, insecurities and confidence. He probably has that realisation of beauty that so many beautiful kids have - they wind everyone around their little fingers instinctively, it seems - but he is both "just a boy" and truly not a fantasy.
The thing I was trying to express, and probably failed badly judging by your reaction, is my pleasure that I can now look at youthful beauty without somehow feeling compromised by it. There was a period in my life when it was truly awful to see a beautiful young man and to know that I would never, ever, not once feel the touch of one such human being. Every day that passed took me further from the possibility. Coming to terms with that has not been easy. The start of coming to terms with it almost caused me to luxuriate in whatever a nervous breakdown is. I'm not sure I'm expressing it well now.
This forum has an audience that is interesting and complex. I somehow doubt that there are fora where older men and younger girls discuss sexuality, longings, increasing maturity, and similar topics openly. It can be quite daunting, as you have pointed out, to be youthful here, and know that older men find youth appealing. I'm sure some folk do propositon behind the scenes, too.
Yet that is not the point of nor purpose of the forum. Each of us is here because we are in some manner damaged, hurt, disturbed or concerned by our life and experiences. We gain insight from others, even if we do not always find what they say comfortable. I think and hope we all grow more mature from it.
I find it glorious that you and Eldon (for example) are together and as free as your circumstances allow. It's wonderful that you are able to enjoy the simple things that I can only dream of. And no, I do not mean perving over youth. I mean that you are true peers and enjoy each other as peers. You can share in-jokes, hopes, fears, exploration and life without being in any way out of place. Such things are imaginable for me and are out of reach for ever. I envy you.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
I think the answer must depend on one's own view of morality.
Assume an unlikely scenario where the younger person, for whatever reason, attempts to seduce the older. Nigel has already mentioned the lads that tarted and flirted when he taught. What one does in that scenario depends upon one's internal code for life.
I am still certain that young people neither want nor need their lives invaded by the sexual desires of an older person, even if they invite or appear to invite such contact.
This has nothing to do with the law, though it is congruent with it in most nations. It has to do with my passionate belief that a child has a right to childhood, and the right to leave that childhood gently and contentedly.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
As a dampner a colleague and friend of mine who himself was often the object of crushes from young people of both sexes said to me "Fine. You (meaning one) go ahead and wank X off. But who's going to clear up the mess afterwards?"
Hugs
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
That dampener works on so many levels!
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Yes, Nigel,
How right. My friend Jennifer says that I saw something nasty in the woodshed but that because I was different I liked it. (The reference is to Aunt Ada Doom in Cold Comfort Farm.)
I have a friend who WAS played with by a master at his school. He was really eager for it (he knew it went on and liked the guy) and very glad when it happened.
But that was 65 years ago and who can say whether tomorrows child, instead of liking it will be traumatised. It's not worth the risk. Indeed it would be immoral to take the risk. And eager people can be traumatised too.
And as any teacher knows there has to be a line that is not to be crossed.
Love,
Anthony
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Yes, Jon,
This is right. It wouldn't make any difference what sex the teacher was and what sex the pupil. But your last post seemed to allow for the possibility that one of the old guys on here *might* make an inappropriate approach or gesture.
I'm quite sure they wouldn't. Any more than your teachers would to a female pupil. When I taught I was aware that some of my pupils were good to look at but I never looked at them 'like that' and, of course, no-one knew I was homosexual. I guess nowadays it is possible for it to be known that a teacher is gay but it doesn't really add any problem: a sexual relationship between a teacher and a pupil is inappropriate whatever the sexes or sexualities. And people teach because they really want to help bring up young people to be good people; well most of them.
And I agree with you completely that one should behave with decorum on the street and I think leering almost *means* improper looking.
I'm really not sure about boys needing older male attention - at least not just from any man. An awful lot of boys learn from their fathers to treat women as objects and football as war and violence as acceptable. But, of course, the example of a father who is also a good man is really valuable so long as you can try to follow it without being disgusted with yourself when you fall short.
I think Dewey's essay on the mailcrew site about bringing up boys is relevant here.
Perhaps you don't realise quite the extent to which I have let my hair down here - because I feel safe about it I can admit to things I would be too ashamed to say to most of my friends. I bet I'm not alone in that. And I bet that doesn't just apply to those over fifty. After all the first step in overcoming a problem is to recognise what the problem is.
Love,
Anthony
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Jon,
Sorry. Misunderstanding: I'll bet not one of my pictures is of someone younger than 21. I think I misused 'pretty boys'. Forgive me. And trust me - I've never 'been out cruising' not ever, nor would I.
Love,
Anthony
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I agree that some boys our age might come on to teachers or other older males. But for a younger male to actively do that means there is some serious thing lacking in his life, and he is trying to fill it with the person he is "flirting" with. It might be a guy from a single mom household who is desperate for love and attention and affection from an older man he has identified as a father figure. It might be hero worship. It might be the need for an older brother figure. Maybe the boy is just a natural flirt and like the attention and feeling he can "control" an older person. That feeling is dangerous in itself.
But in my opinion, it is totally immaterial whether the younger guy "comes on to" the older one or not. If the older person croses the line, and enters into a physical sexual situation with that young guy, then he is taking advantage of that weakness in the boy. Being a teenager is confusing enough dealing with all the emotions and drama and discoveries and having it suddenly dawn on you that you'd rather suck cock than eat pussy, and we don't need the added drama of trans-generational sex.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Timmy, do you think those in jokes, and the ability to communicate with him by raising an eyebrow or with a silent glance came overnight?? We've grown up together, and done everything together since we were babies. We experimented together as we entered puberty, left that, returned to it, and then experienced together the unbelievable night everything in the whole universe suddenly, miraculously and most excellently just slid into perfect place.
I don't understand why you think friends like this are out of reach. You might be starting late, but I think in your case to start to be happy means that you need to leave the rut you've been walking in for so long. Stop saying "I wish I had done this and that" and start saying "I will now do this and that, because I want to." Stop thinking that your chance for male to male affection is over because you're not a teenager. I really think you can mature your affections and attractions and stop being frozen emotionally as a frustrated high school senior.
[Updated on: Tue, 22 April 2008 17:41] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
Oh I know they did not come overnight What I mean is that I suspect I would be unable to share them with someone of your age because our worlds are different. It would be incongruous at best, ludicrous at worst.
I can share different things with folk of my own age, of course I can. But, at risk of causing discomfort, let me try to explain a little more before I address your highly valid point, nicely disguised, that I need to grow up
You've probably noticed that older men's skin has neither the sheen, nor the silky elasticity of a younger man's. Wrinkles that look charming ion a younger man look deep on an older one. We choose to praise "cragginess" to make ourselves like it. John Wayne was craggy, many were even craggier. Real macho men.
I'm a real macho man. So are you, so is Jon, so are all the kids I grew up with. We always were and we always will be. We all head for cragginess at our own pace. Some reach it at 20, others never quite get there at 80.
It's just that I really do not find it appealing.
Having said that, there are those I find appealing. John Barrowman (with the bow tie), for example, at 41, is still appealing. His partner, slightly older, even more so
Yet they are youthful. Some men in their early forties look prematurely dead.
As you know me longer, if you choose to, you will know that I have always lived out my pain in public. In part that is for me. In part it is for those who are also handling this pain. Very few men of my age are willing to post "yes, me too", but they read and see and consider your thoughts and mine. Mine is a dreadful road, made up of stupidity, bad decisions and self induced suffering. I was not abused, beaten, thrown out of my home, or any of the awful things that have happened to others.
All that has happened to me I have created and caused by my own circumstances and stupidity, and yet that is what allowed me to survive. I am finally forcing my way out of the "I want what I cannot have" prison. I can see and appreciate the kid up the road without wanting him. That is great. I suspect you are rather gorgeous from the small avatar pics. Were we the same age I would be struggling not to drool. But, if we should ever meet I will appreciate your beauty, enjoy your conversation, be a little wistful that I am too old, and we will meet and part as simple friends. I expect I can manage not to stutter and gibber given enough practice
So I am maturing things. I think I will never 'not find teenagers attractive', but I am at ease enough with myself not to leer, not to paw, and not to drool. Ten years ago that was harder.
Now the hard bit.
I am married and will have been for 29 years on Bastille Day this year. We fell in love, truly, madly, deeply. That love has lasted. It is also a blessing and a curse. I meant the vows "until death us do part". For that reason many things are, by my own decisions, lost to me.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I meet Mark when we were both 19 and we were together for over 30 years. I watched his beauty mature and then I saw him as a very handsome man. The longer I was with him the more I loved him. To pretend that young men are not attractive is just fooling yourself. I think the issue is that you dont make a fool of yourself getting all googly eyed and drooling all over the place. Jon and Eldon are handsome young men and they are intelligent and charming. I can admire the good points about them with out being an idiot. As you both mature together you will keep discovering wonderful things about each other.
If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
unsui
|
|
Likes it here |
Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338
|
|
|
No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 18:26] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
I think you misunderstand tools like viagra and cialis. I am one of the poor sods who have to use them. I was rendered impotent by a mixture of surgery and diabetes.
You need to understand that either of these substances require a sexual stimulus to have any effect. You don't take them and have an instant, enormous and throbbing erection. You can take them and simply receive the side effects, none of which are particularly pleasant, without an erection at all if your object of desire is not in the mood, has a headache or uses another avoidance strategy.
With stimulus you get an erection reminiscent of your teenage years. Viagra tends to be a single shot tool. Cialis lasts for a couple of goes. But neither of them work if your sexual desire and drive is gone.
They are used, contacts tell me, in the porn industry, in order to save time, but they have no use in normal, healthy, men who can sustain an erection until orgasm.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Michael Sargeant (vintage '41) wrote:
My sexual urge is diminishing rapidly.
Michael, if I didn't know that you were an atheist I would say "God bless you for writing that!". Now I know that I'm not weird. (I was going to write "queer", but that would not be true!) I think it was Socrates who remarked about sex in the "golden years", "I thank the gods that they have released me from a cruel and tyrannical master."
J F R
The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
He could well be traumatised because that is the expected reaction these days. Such trauma did not exist as a concept all those years ago, as any First World War veteran would have told us.
Hugs
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I can't disagree with what you say, Donny, but we have have a saying: a standing cock has no conscience. Hormones and emotions have completely eclipsed the logical and the moral. I remember a girl pupil saying: "When a boy's got me up against a wall, I'm not going to stop and say 'Mrs G (the PSE teacher) told me to use a condom'" We have to take human frailty into consideration.
Hugs
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
At school I was propositioned quite strongly by one particular master. He taught Latin, Greek, and was my form master when I was 13. I can say clearly that the consummation would not have traumatised me. Nor did the propositioning, which was very public indeed, in front of the entire class each time. Had I been interested in older men he was not bad looking, and I am sure the physical experience would have been pleasant.
But the proposition, and the fact that it was so public, was demeaning. The fact that he repeated it was at best in poor taste.
[Updated on: Wed, 23 April 2008 08:02]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dear Michael and JFR,
I don't agree with Socrates, but maybe I never found sex a cruel and tyrannical master.
My wish for sex exceeds my abilities but the lack of ability doesn't seem to affect the sexual urge.
In the same way: I really like the taste of wine. I've only been drunk half a dozen times in my whole life and have never habitually drunk to excess but I'm now finding that more than two small glasses with a meal is too much if I don't want to feel lethargic the next day. I'd like to drink more but I can't.
Love,
Anthony
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Anthony, I'm not sure, but I think that what he meant was that one gets to a certain age when one can control the sexual appetite and not have the sexual appetite control oneself.
J F R
The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Yes, JFR,
I had thought of that but "Nah! That happened to me at about 25!" 
Love,
Anthony
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
unsui
|
|
Likes it here |
Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338
|
|
|
No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 18:26] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
unsui
|
|
Likes it here |
Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338
|
|
|
No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 18:25] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
You mean your wife has won, and emasculated you?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
unsui
|
|
Likes it here |
Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338
|
|
|
No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 18:25] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
saben
|
 |
On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
|
|
|
Ryan's sex drive is less than mine and he has a lot more self control. He uses that to his advantage. (Though usually only for menial tasks so I don't mind too much.)
Additionally as I'm interested in a more open relationship he dangles the possibility of letting me try other guys as a carrot in front of me. Sometimes as a joke, mostly I end up doing something for him anyway.
In some ways I hope to lose my sex drive one day. Right now it feels that half my decisions are purely to further my chances of performing the sex act. One of my goals for the future is to "have sex with a lot of cute guys". At times I find that actually playing a part in decisions regarding career :S Not good, especially given I'm in a relationship and it's mostly idle dreaming anyway.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
|
|
|
|
|
Goto Forum:
|
] 
A Place of Safety
Search
Help
Register
Login
Home
