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A question..... [message #50328]

Wed, 07 May 2008 11:51

marc

Needs to get a life!

Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729

How does a person measure what is successful?

What are the points that make a successful life successful?

What is important and what is not?

How does one measure contentedness?

Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...

Re: A question..... [message #50330 is a reply to message #50328]

Wed, 07 May 2008 12:45

saben

On fire!

Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537

I think it entirely subjective. Yet it is also socially conditioned subjectivity.

To me successful means I have the resources (money, influence, etc) to do what I want. Based on that definition I may never be successful, however.

I require some degree of success to be content. But I can achieve the majority of my contentedness by just making ends meet and having a relationship with someone I care about.

I either want to work hard and "have it all" or not work and have enough to live. I find it hard to accept a middle ground.

Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway

Re: A question..... [message #50338 is a reply to message #50330]

Wed, 07 May 2008 14:22

JimB

Likes it here

Registered: December 2006
Messages: 349

I agree with you Saben. Though resources (money, influence, etc.) are involved they aren't the true measure of success. I find contentedness and happiness to be far more accurate measures.

One can be rich and still very unhappy and unfullfilled; and one can have few resources but still be very successful in raising their children. The first is not contented while the second is.

Also, I think it is a mistake to apply this measure to life as a whole since we all have areas in which we are successful and others where we are not.

JimB

Re: A question..... [message #50339 is a reply to message #50328]

Wed, 07 May 2008 14:55

unsui

Likes it here

Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338

No Message Body

[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 18:23]

Re: A question..... [message #50348 is a reply to message #50328]

Thu, 08 May 2008 00:30

brit

Toe is in the water

Location: USA
Registered: May 2008
Messages: 76

Marc,

I have been employed three times as a data analyst where I was judged by others to be excellent at my job, a success, and I left all three positions. I am employed now, for the fourth time, as a programmer and systems integrator, a job which is stressful and in which I struggle to perform at what I consider to be an adequate level. I would not judge myself now to be successful, but rather striving for success. Perhaps one is successful when one's expectations have been honed by life to be in keeping with one's abilities.

I would say one is contented if he wakes up in the morning and is eager to do what he did yesterday.

Brit

Re: A question..... [message #50357 is a reply to message #50328]

Thu, 08 May 2008 10:12

acam

On fire!

Location: UK
Registered: July 2007
Messages: 1849

Dear Marc,

I have a friend who thinks that it is so subjective that by the end of one's life everyone is equal and the highs and the lows for each person even out. He then says that since he would rather have a mixture of ecstasy and despair than a life of even tenor, he will take risks.

I think what he says is rubbish and that it is quite plain some people are happier and more successful that others. It's very hard to tell though. Some people's success is other people's smug self-satisfaction. For some people being a nobel prizewinner or a virtuoso or a top athlete in some high-paying sport would be marvellous - but one can give up too much in trying. I don't think Mozart was as happy as Haydn. I'd rather have been Haydn.

But to feel successful you have to approve of your own performance and some people never do. Perhaps it is the way they were brought up.

If there were a pill you could take which would give you eternal delight would you take it? I wouldn't because I wouldn't trust a life without effort could be satisfying. For the same reason I've never wanted to use recreational drugs. I want anything nice that happens to me to be real!

Sometimes I feel I agree with Diamond Jim Brady in Cannery Row that the most important thing for a happy and successful life is to learn to like oneself.

Then other people might like you and that is a great delight.

Love,
Anthony

Re: A question..... [message #50362 is a reply to message #50357]

Thu, 08 May 2008 15:10

JimB

Likes it here

Registered: December 2006
Messages: 349

"... the most important thing for a happy and successful life is to learn to like oneself." An excellent point, Anthony; and I agree 100%. It is an integral part of being contented.

JimB

Re: A question..... [message #50365 is a reply to message #50362]

Thu, 08 May 2008 16:38

brit

Toe is in the water

Location: USA
Registered: May 2008
Messages: 76

Amen

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