|
|
|
timmy
|
 |
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
My mate Peter, the guy I actually discovered I loved deeply as a brother while in school and beyond, is hoping to visit me soon. he was to visit in late April but he had to go to Spain where his father is unwell. He lives in Australia normally.
He sent me an email, copying one mutual friend, Graham, and Graham replied "to all" thus including me. I replied to all, including Graham, then sent Graham a quiet note suggesting we got back in touch (last seen circa 1973).
That was on the 19th of May.
I have, as usual, heard nothing. It is very rare that I ever hear from folk from my school era. What sometimes happens is that they reply "yes, how great to hear from you, me "must" meet up." I reply pleasantly and then never hear from them again.
Graham has been 100% silent.
The conclusion I am forced to come to is that I was not a pleasant youth, or that I terrified them all. I know it shouldn't make me sad, but, just sometimes, I want to renew an old acquaintance, maybe for a couple of emails, maybe for a beer.
I wonder why they haven't any curiosity about doing the same.
I have decided to have fun with Graham. I have written and asked him if I was a total shit, and if that is why he is ignoring me. And offered him an apology for so being.
He was quite cute as a teenager, with a very pretty...... never mind!
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Yes, Timmy,
The guy at school that I was told was in love with me (twenty years later) has refused to answer messages or to meet me. I wonder why. I can't believe I was unpleasant or rude but I may have been blind and failed to pick up on hints. I don't know.
I'm told he lives in Guildford!
Love,
Anthony
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
It is odd, really.
Graham was not, I imagine, in "anything" with me, but I am pretty sure I used to annoy him. It was probably that I used to stroke his thighs a lot! That would do it, I imagine!
Your Guildford guy is probably "happily" married and scared shitless. A bit like my friend your neighbour!
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dear timmy,
I can't said i have much experience as i'm still a young one. However, i can say that during my last year of school i moved away to a different city. Left behind everything i knew. Left behind all the people i had fun with sexually, and not sexually, and some i wanted sexually. Two years later i came back eager to meet and hang out. To my surprise, is was not like it used to be. They were not so eager and thrilled to hang out with me, even after i would invite them to go out. They would always say we "should" hang out. I think my mind heard we "must" hang out because i totally missed the concept that "should" doesn't necessarely meant it was going to happen.
I kept insisting though. i almost gave up because maybe they didn't want to see me. When i saw old friends, i realized it was not they didn't want to see me, it was more that their lives have changed. Like always things change and its hard to accept it.
I know 2 years seems like nothing compared to 30 something years (pardon my expression), but in those two years i felt the world i knew was turned upside down. Keep on trying. Sent out the invitations. The experience - meeting up with your past face to face - is well worthed. I know i enjoyed finally meeting up with old friends. It helped me put away feelings i carried on with me. It was almost therapeutic.
Good luck,
M.
You don't love someone because they are beautiful, they are beautiful because you love them.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
I think we must change more than we realise as time passes, while they do remain the same, those who stay behind
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
I suppose I ought not to have, but I sent an email to the kid I was outed over today.
He was not a friend. I never knew him, not exactly. I was besotted with him as a concept. I did get to speak to him a couple of times but I was always tongue tied and stupid.
So I sent him, today, an email which told him that I was sorry for any issues I had caused him, and that I felt the apology for "admiring" him.
This one will not get a reply, nor does it need to.
I don't suppose it was an act of wisdom, but I did it anyway.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
After I joined 'Friends Reunited' I got a couple of emails from people I was at boarding school with. But I was too nervous/worried/hung up to actually reply.
After all it's been a long while, and what - other than school - would we have in common? After such a long time it'd be like an awkward, and probably embarrassing, blind date.
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: Music and Cats." - Albert Schweitzer
It's like Mad Max out here: guys doing guys, girls doing girls, girls turning into guys and doing girls that used to do girls and guys!
- from Alex Truelove
|
|
|
|
|
Goto Forum:
|
] 
A Place of Safety
Search
Help
Register
Login
Home
