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What is it one really wants? We can try to admit our feelings as blunt as possible when we meet. Aside from all the blushing, smiles and the like, but
is that what we really want? When we finally do meet, what will each think of the other? Will there be some sort of spark? Not likely. Yet, we all dream of meeting the 'right person' to spend the rest of our lives with. Dreams make us want, and so on and so fourth. So we become attached, vying for the other's affection and approval. We are like lost puppies searching for another to protect us. We lose ourselves in the moment, wanting, and waiting for the time to come where we will spend every waking moment with such a person.
This of course, is not true for everyone. Some prefer to be alone, in the solace of the single life. This of course, is fine. Everyone has different wants, and so, it is fine. We are the dreamers, and the lost ones, who drown ourselves in the sexually-charged moments of our lives. Such a life, is not a healthy one. But, whose to say what's healthy and what's not. Such opinions are varied from person to person. Is there a sin in wanting someone? Even if it is, of the
same sex, what's the point in making such a huge thing about it? And if not, then apparently you've just joined the norm of society. I raise my glass to
you.
Life isn't all about the Hollywood glams and glamour, the broadway shows and pleasures. Life is simply about being who we are, in spite of what
others think. If there is such a 'one and only' person for everyone, why do some people cheat on others for their sexual pleasure? It's quite a mess.
We are simple creatures, yet complicated, with so many wants and needs. Some need to be alone, and some need to be with someone. If we are with
the ones we love, should we not be happy? 'True love' is meant to be shared between those who truly love eachother. Yet these days, with such abuse
and alcohol mixed in, we truly are simple creatures.
There are so many kinds of people in the world these days; painters, carpenters, construction workers, writers, graphic designers, and we all work hard to try to enjoy life, which really, is all that life's about. Living in the moment to capture everything around you. Perhaps, we truly aren't simple creatures after all. Who knows. I leave that for you to decide.
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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I don't understand what the point is that you are trying to make?
If you want a relationship you must be willing to go find one... It can't be done from the house.
You talk about "so many kinds of people" and yet mention a few trades.... How do you correlate a job with a "kind of person?"
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Hi Marc.
I realize that one cant find and biuld a relationship from the house. Being willing to get into a relationship needs to be done in order to get one. I know that.
The so many kinds of people was in general. Everyone has different jobs and different things that make them happy. Though some people hate their jobs and either quit or find different ones, or both. Finding what makes someone happy in life is a good thing.
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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What would make you happy Josh... Not the rest of the world... You.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Honestly, right now, I am happy. I have friends here, you included Marc. I would be happier if I was with someone, but for now, I'm still happy. And if I were in a relationship, I'd want it to be with someone who genuinely cares about me. I would do what I could to contribute of course, and I'd try to make the other person happy, but I'd like to be treated with respect as well. I'm not saying there's no one out there for me, I just haven't found such a person yet.
Thanks for commenting.
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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Josh, can I put my two cents in, for what its worth? Jeff is my best friend in all the world. We have known each other since we were in 1st grade. He lives 4 blocks from me and when you see one of us the other wont be far behind. It dawned on me one day how much I loved Jeff and it also dawned on me how I loved him. With the help of my friend here on the forum, he got Jeff and me together as lovers as well as best friends. Please believe me when I tell you that sex is not what its all about. Jeff and I think alike we do things together were argue and fuss and make up and fill our time with each other. I taught Jeff how to ride a horse and we take over night rides at the farm. I guess the best is that we share our lives. Im never alone, there are always my friends here and there is always Jeff. When you love someone, that special person, then you share your life with them and sharing makes you happy.
Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you......
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Hi Curtis. Thanks for commenting.
I liked your post. I do have friends, and people I love. I've never had a guy friend, or a boyfriend. I've only had friends that are girls.
I know that loving someone is a good feeling. I do love my friends very much. I'm not saying that sharing your life with someone is a bad thing. I think it's a very good thing, and I'm happy for all those who have someone in their lives that they love.
Right now, I don't have such a person. It's a little weird. I'm anxious to have someone, and yet, I have my own walls built up to keep people away. As I said before, I know that if someone wants to be in a relationship, then they have to be willing to try to ask any such person.
Personally, I think one of the misconceptions about sex, is the fact that people who don't love each other do it. I'm referring to the very many porn videos you can watch online, even on YouTube. I go to YouTube all the time mostly, and I think it's wrong for someone to do it when they don't even like the person.
Loving someone should not hurt both parties. I wrote a letter to my mom once that says "Love does not hurt." I believe this to be true. Loving someone should not hurt, and if it does, then such people need to talk about it.
On the contrary, I have difficulty telling others what I feel, speaking it anyway, so if I like someone, or if someone likes me, then I will have trouble talking to any such person.
Sometimes, I think that it's a waste of time. Sometimes I think that any such person just wants to get into my pants, (see my previous post) and if they want to, I will beat their ass. I want someone to love me, like, truly love me. I know I love my friends, but it's not the same. I love my friends platonicly. I want someone to love me romantically, without sex.
I just don't do sex. It's my own personal rule for me. Anyway, I hope I'm not repeating myself. Feel free to reply if you want to.
*hugs*
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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Dear Josh,
Everyone is different. Some get homesick when they first leave home - even for a week at camp. Some are just happy to have a sort of adventure away. Some are ready for sex with another person at 13, 14 or 15. Some like me weren't ready till 18, 19, 20. Some when they first have sexual feelings shy away from them and hide in their shell. Some are so ready for it that when it happens they are too eager and spoil it by lack of restraint (I think I was one of those).
But I think you may regret making too many rules for yourself and taking too many decisions about what sort of companionship you will accept and what you would refuse. You don't really know what will suit you until you have tried it!
And I'm with you all the way when you aren't going to rush into anything and when you put up a barrier to say "I'm not available" - because the internet, even A Place of Safety is not somewhere it is wise to admit to saying I want to get to know someone better than just as a friend. Even if you do.
You have to find people you like at school or at work or at a youth club or at college or at evening classes or ... and as my wife says "Fortune favours the prepared mind" which is to say that if you have an idea what you long for, when it appears, you may be able to snap it up.
But no relationship was built in a day or a week or even a month. You have to be ready to spend time getting to know people before you can choose who to like and who to like not so much. And you may, one day, realise you know someone who can finish your sentences for you and whose sentences you can finish for him (or her). When you know someone that well it may be time to call it a relationship.
And anyone who wants to get into your pants before then might be shallow and trivial and worthless - or they might turn out to be able to finish your sentences after a few months. Every couple gets together in a different way - Sylvia and I met on an airplane!
Just don't despair about it! I was 28 or thereabouts!
Love,
Anthony
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Hey Anthony. *hugs*
I've read what you've written. And thanks for your comments. I'm just fooling myself. I think I am ready for it, but I'm putting up my own walls anyways. There's a song by t.a.t.u; one of my favourite bands. The song is called "I only want what I can't have." This is true to my in some ways, and wrong in others.
It's not like I want to go up to someone and like, grope them! I would never do that. There are times where I wouldn't mind being in a controlling relationship. Not because I know it's right (though it may be in my mind) but because it's either what I want, or I'm too caught in the moment to stop myself.
And yes, I do want a boyfriend, desperately. I've dreamed aobut it and so on and so fourth. I know that sex is definitely not what defines a relatioship. It's a part of it, but it's definitely not all of it, and I know that. I'm just really tired of being alone, so much to the point that it's like I'll be with any guy who "wants some," and in some part of my mind, I wouldn't mind giving him what he wants. In a relationship, I want to be the one who satisfies the other one.
I've called myself 'gay,' 'straight' and 'bisexual' because I don't know what it is I want! And that's kind of making me angry. I should be able to pick one and not turn back. I get butterflies if a guy starts talking to me, then I become all 'touchy-feely' with him and like, don't want to stop..
I don't even know what I want.. Sorry if that was abrupt. I'm fine.  I want it ('it' being sex) but I've forbade myslf from it. Perhaps if this keeps up, I'll be the dominant one, which right now, I don't think I'd mind..
I'm sounding kinda pathetic right now. Sorry. *hugs to you all* Thanks to all of you for taking your time to read and comment on what I've written.
Am I confused? Yes! But do I know what I want? Yes! So it's a little wierd. Anyway, thanks for commenting Anthony. I'll talk to you soon.
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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Dear Josh,
Yes, you are gay, bi, heterosexual, frigid, hot, eager and rejecting all at once!
And so were most of us once. And most of us start in some of those places and visit others and end up somewhere else. I mean, like you I wanted a lover and boyfriend; I got a good friend who confessed me every Sunday and when he got married I (rarely) had casual sex. Then I met Sylvia and got married and it has worked and I've been faithful for 45 years. And I think I would have denied I was gay for some of that time, but I've realised that my nature is gay and I guess always has been and the only difference is I admit it now.
But when I was nineteen, before my initiation I couldn't have forecast what I would become. Like you, I didn't even know what I was then.
Love,
Anthony
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Hey Anthony.
We're kinda similar in that respect.
I can be gay, and not have sex right? Sure. Which is what I want. It's kinda simple. Sorry that I made a big thing of it in my other post. Some days I feel gay, some days I feel straight and so on. I'm still me though, that'll never change. And I refuse to live my life based on the labels that people give others.
*hugs*
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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