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yusime
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Likes it here |
Location: United States
Registered: April 2008
Messages: 195
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In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
Drop your trousers here for best results.
n a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly:
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.
What, me trust Reagan?
Did you realize that
Ronald Wilson Reagan
is an anagram for
insane anglo warlord
Get this too!!!
Ronald Wilson Reagan
6 letters in each word --> 666 (the devil himself)
And one more.
If you number the letters in the alphabet as follows:
A B C ... Z
100 101 102 125
and then add up the values in "Ronald Wilson Reagan",
you will get a familiar George Orwell number.
BEWARE!!!
Sadly, we still don't know what causes heterosexuality.
http://www.farid-hajji.net/
He who joyfully marches in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake since for him a spinal cord would suffice. Albert Einstein
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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OK..... Read them, now, where are the funny ones?
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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unsui
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Likes it here |
Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338
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No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 19:29] |
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JimB
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Likes it here |
Registered: December 2006
Messages: 349
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Gee Marc. Did somebody wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Listen Jim, when it's not funny, it's just not funny....
It's especially not funny when they are already 30 years old.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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trekkerpacker
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Getting started |
Registered: November 2007
Messages: 14
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No Message Body
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Attachment: extrcov.jpg
(Size: 30.45KB, Downloaded 289 times)
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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And you sir are a.... Well you know full well what you are...
If you think thst the so called funny saying were indeed funny then you are at leisure to laugh away....
As for myself, I do not... You opinion as to why I do not is irrelevant.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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John..
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: March 2008
Messages: 56
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Hey pat,
I think those staements are well funny, you can see how the understanding changes around the world..
I like your humour, those that dont will grow to like it as well.
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yusime
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Likes it here |
Location: United States
Registered: April 2008
Messages: 195
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thanks heres some more
Stalin dies and makes his way to the heaven. St. Peter indignantly refuses him entry, and sends him down to hell.
The next day, St. Peter is woken early by a great clamor outside his window. Looking out, he sees a huge crowd of devils, all demanding political asylum.
In heaven:
The English are the police,
The Germans are the mechanics,
The Swiss are the administrators,
The French are the lovers,
The Italians are the cooks.
In hell:
The English are the cooks,
The French are the mechanics,
The Swiss are the lovers,
The Italians are the administrators,
The Germans are the police!
He who joyfully marches in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake since for him a spinal cord would suffice. Albert Einstein
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yusime
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Likes it here |
Location: United States
Registered: April 2008
Messages: 195
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Click the link in the original and you'll find more these are a little different
Choose Your Own Hell
A political activist named Dave was just arriving in Hell, and was told he had a choice to make. He could go to Capitalist Hell or to Communist Hell. Naturally, Dave wanted to compare the two, so he wandered over to Capitalist Hell. There outside the door was Adam Smith, looking bored. "What's it like in there?" asked Dave.
"Well," replied Adam, "In Capitalist Hell, they flay you alive, boil you in oil, chain you to a rock and let a vulture tear your liver out., Then they cut you up into small pieces with sharp knives."
"That's terrible!!" gasped Dave. "I'm going to check out Communist Hell!" He went over to Communist Hell, where he discovered a huge line of people waiting to get in; the line circled around the lobby seven times before receding off over the horizon.
Dave pushed his way through to the head of the line, where he found Karl Marx busily signing people in. Dave asked Karl what Communist Hell was like.
"In Communist Hell," said Marx impatiently, "they flay you alive, boil you in oil, chain you to a rock and let vultures tear out your liver. Then they cut you up into small pieces with sharp knives."
"But ... but that's the same as Capitalist Hell!" protested Dave.
"True," sighed Marx, "but sometimes we don't have oil, sometimes we don't have knives ..."
Author: Chet Edelman.
Communism, Socialism and Capitalism plan a get-together. But Socialism arrives half an hour late.
Socialism: Sorry, comrades, I had to get some sausage for dinner, and there was a long line.
Capitalism: What's a line?
Communism: What's sausage?
He who joyfully marches in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake since for him a spinal cord would suffice. Albert Einstein
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Cameron
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 2008
Messages: 70
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Thanks, Pat. I like your sense of humor.
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Re: Here are a few funny bits I found on a website 
