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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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The subject was transgender children.
I watched a mother describe her 2 1/2 year old son standing in the bath with a nail clipper in hand and he said to his mom, "This is wrong... it doesn't belong here..." pointing at his penis.
I watched a father break down and cry when he talked about how much pain his small child was in due to "being in the wrong body"....
My point to all this is simple, direct, and honest....
How can a child make up such a sceinerio?
The answer is simple... They don't...
Children understand emotions and feelings... They have no idea about gender issues, about heterosexuality, or homosexuality, or sex for that matter....
Children only (and that is provided they are exposed to the differences) that boys have a peepee and girls don't...
I look at these several children, some girls who deep inside know they are boys and some boys who know they are in reality girls and as I watched it became easy to know that these small children know what is right for themselves.
In other words, there is nothing unnatural in their decisions and there is nothing socially wrong with them as well.
They are who they are.... the pain in their eyes was palpable and quite real. The acceptance of their families was heartwarming and the support was endless.
I wish it were like this for all gender alternative kids.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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unsui
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Likes it here |
Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338
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No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 18:05] |
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for those who missed the program, the story is here:
http://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=5261466&page=1
(\\__/) And if you don't believe The sun will rise
(='.'=) Stand alone and greet The coming night
(")_(") In the last remaining light. (C. Cornell)
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I've watched a similar program. I can't remember who hosted it. But I came to the same conclusion. I was just really surprised to see it evidenced in people at such an early age. I could understand if it developed around puberty, but this seems to be self knowledge almost as toddlers!!! I wonder how the Evangelicals explain this? 
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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unsui
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Likes it here |
Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338
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No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 18:04] |
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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While by no means proof, this child demonstrates the intuitive alignment we feel with "self" rather than "form".
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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I imagine that they either ignore it, or consider the child to be 'possessed by demons'.
My wife has a 6 year old in her class. The boy loves pink unicorns, chandeliers, and plays 'being a fairy' pretty much all the time. This is unusual behaviour for a girl, let alone a boy. He is either heading for camp queen or is born in the wrong body and is overcompensating.
His love is drawing. His parents revere (not too strong a word) mathematics. He is not a mathematician, nor is he likely ever to be.
His parents are trying to drum his feminine side out of him. After all, he does rather overdo it.
Fortunately he also has a hard edge. He will survive. But I suspect at a heavy personal cost.
My wife has no idea what he is aware of. Discussing this with him is pretty much forbidden. But he is certainly an unusual child, and one who can be identified from his written work with ease - it is THAT different.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I'm baffled by it. I know three and they are all male-to-female. One was at school with son-in-law and is teamed up with another (don't ask - I don't know).
What I find difficult is how anyone could wish to be what they are not. Yet that doesn't really express it properly.
I've talked to gay men who have said that they wished they weren't gay. I've always responded that, yes, when I was young I thought I would have liked not to be gay, but that would be wishing to be someone else and I can't really imagine being someone else - never mind wish it. And I've thought about it ever since Alice in Wonderland considered whether she could have been turned into Ada or Mabel.
People must have very different senses of self is the only explanation I can find. I suppose this shouldn't be strange to me, but it is. I have an internal 'cinema' and when I imagine something happen to me (or recall something) it is a bit like seeing it on the internal cinema screen. But some people just don't have such a thing. Francis Galton discovered that by sending a questionnaire round his friends and found some of them thought 'the mind's eye' was just a figure of speech.
I'm really quite interested in how my mind works differently from other people's. I've never had a masturbation fantasy, for example (except in a wet dream - but that only ever happened once)!
I expect there is a lot to be found out about sexuality that no-one yet has thought about.
But even though I'm friends with those three, I've never been able to find an occasion when I could have a serious and searching conversation with them - and very likely they would find it intrusive of me if I tried to begin.
Do you know how to begin such a conversation?
Love,
Anthony
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unsui
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Likes it here |
Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338
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No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 18:04] |
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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I've chatted to Lindy, my cousin, about it. When he was a boy, before he had a clue what was awry, he simply felt wrong about himself. He said it is very hard to explain, and that he is "content" with his male appendages, because they are functional, but wishes he didn't have them, despite not wishing to have surgery.
She is a fine looking grown woman, rather taller than most ladies, and with better legs! She has always felt right as a girl and then a woman, despite being harangued by her older sisters about it, and ostracised by a family that is only just starting to understand. Since it is a hard road, one may assume that one does not travel it by choice, yet they shut her out because of it.
She is very happy to tell others about herself, her thought processes and her history. She is also quite unfazed by questions about her orientation. Now that is complex!
Since she is a lady, she is attracted to gentlemen, despite not having relevant apparatus. Equally, since she grew up with a masculine body and is a proud father, she is also perfectly content to sleep with ladies. She thinks that her orientation is 'appropriate for her circumstances', which makes sense to me. I can't label it in a better way.
So do ask your friends 'if you may ask'! People avoid things when there is no need.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I guess we can all understand a parent's desire to have their children be as normal as possible. After all, the first thing they do upon their child's birth is count the number of fingers and toes. And if a child exhibits what they believe is abnormal behaviour, then the instinctive reaction is to correct it. But I don't think they can see the forest for the trees and end up doing far more damage than good. They send the, not so subtle, message that "you aren't good enough as you are so we are going to change you". And the child comes to believe that in order to be loved and accepted he must learn to "hide" who he is and pretend to be who he isn't. God, how many people here does this ring true for? Have you done this to your own kids or had it done to you? If only parents would seek professional counseling first - not for the child but for themselves; to learn how to approach these situations. How much harm do parents do in their desire to do what they think is right? :-[
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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I thought growing up with the knowledge that I was gay made my life tough. But I can't begin to imagine how difficult it must be to grow up transgendered. There are many places on the net that gay youth can turn to for answers about their sexuality. It seems to me that there would be considerably less for trangendered youth as they are in an even smaller minority than gays. And I suppose that enough people view them as freaks of nature that few of them grow up with much self esteem.
If anyone knows a transgendered person with the courage to be put through a question and answer format, I wish you'd invite him/her here. I would hope that the people in this forum would be open minded and supportive and embrace them. I know a 16 year old transgendered youth but his ego is way to fragile for me to ask him here. Also, if anyone knows of any sites I can steer "her" to it would be appreciated.
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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I can introduce your friend and Lindy (assuming both agree). I've shown her the site, but she isn't gay, so it has little relevance to her.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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