|
|
pipo
|
 |
Toe is in the water |
Registered: July 2008
Messages: 35
|
|
|
Yesterday, the yearly "gay parade" was held in Amsterdam. This manifestation is a sort of carnival parade on floating barges through the canals of Amsterdam. This year it is estimated that about a half million people visited the event.
Some pictures can be found here:
http://www.nufoto.nl/categorie/themas/gay-pride/
(site in Dutch, but just click away, the user interface is straightforward, no pun intended)
What do you think of events like this? Personally - being a modest and somewhat conservative person - I would not want to be seen dead at such an event, but I can understand the need that some gays have to be more "in your face" of society at large. Holland is supposedly very tolerant (although I believe that tolerance is much less now than 20 years ago), but it is often a "don't ask, don't tell" type of tolerance, "as long as you don't bother me with it". On the other hand, the opinion is widespread that events like this hamper rather than further the emancipation of gays, because it exhibits gays as peculiar or abnormal people.
What I specifically did not like about the event: it is getting to be commercial and political. This year, apart from the Mayor of Amsterdam, two government ministers and several secretaries of state floated along - not coincidentally all of them member of the socialist party (PvdA). I do not like that being gay is made a "left-wing" issue. Having a good income and no children, I have clear reasons not to vote for that party ... Of course I would never vote for a so-called "christian" party either. The mainstream "christian" politicians cannot be publicly anti-gay in Holland, but all happened to be on holiday or otherwise unable to come to Amsterdam yesterday 
What I did like about it: there also was a boat of the "Pink in Blue" network of gay police officers. What many foreigners do not know is that Amsterdam -mainly due to many Moroccan inhabitants who are not at all gay-friendly- is actually one of the less safe places to be for gay people in Holland. This police network really helps because it makes it easier for victims of bashing to report the crime and get help.
[Updated on: Sun, 03 August 2008 18:54] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I regret that I've never been to a gay pride event. I think they help to make people aware of us and although it may give some people ammunition I'd rather have that than be invisible. Like you, I dislike the don't ask don't tell attitude. To me it seems to say that we accept that we are unspeakable and only barely tolerated so long as we stay invisible.
As Stonewall puts it "Some people are gay - get used to it!"
But I also welcome the gay police joining in and many other organisations that are gay friendly or have a gay branch.
And, of course some gays are abnormal and they too ought to be accepted and having the world see them surely will help with that.
So I'm in favour, on the whole.
Love,
Anthony
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
pipo
|
|
Toe is in the water |
Registered: July 2008
Messages: 35
|
|
|
I am afraid that "don't ask, don't tell" is very much part of my daily reality. The office where I work is in a coastal town. That town is a holiday resort and also originally a Catholic enclave, both factors making it pretty tolerant. But several of the neighbor towns are originally fisherman or agricultural villages and very strictly Calvinistic Protestant, and we do recruit from those villages. I believe that I cannot be "proud and out" in the workplace and maintain a good working relation with those people. Although they are mostly lower echelon, it would make it difficult for some of them to respect my authority (and I do need them too as colleagues). Also, I plan to spend the next 20 years of my life working for that company and I just do not want to risk it 
Having said that, I am sure that most of my direct colleagues know - they are not stupid and being my age and never married makes it easy to guess. The guy I work with most closely soon after starting working for me told me that his previous boss was gay (he didn't say "also gay", but I could hear him think that) and that he did not have any problem with that (his previous employment was a student job flipping burgers at the beach). I know that is not a facade, because he several times visited that guy at home (I got a detailed and admiring description of what it looked like), maintained his website and still keeps in occasional contact today, 7 years after he stopped working for the guy. Also our working relation always has been close and pleasant.
[Updated on: Sun, 03 August 2008 19:55] |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Yes, Pipo,
I think I understand, but don't ask don't tell was, I think, really saying that you can join the US forces if you are firmly and completely in the closet.
I think that you (and I to about the same extent) are not 'firmly closeted'. And it sounds as if your colleague has no problem. Actually I think working for a gay man might be quite a pleasure; gay men seem to understand me better  .
I've never told anyone at the croquet club that I'm gay. They all know I'm married but I wear tights all the time so they must be suspicious. Yet they elected me chairman. Similarly the local LibDems - I'm treasurer - and went to a party last Friday. Our 'out' gay MP was there and we talked briefly about my wearing tights and how he hadn't known what to think when I turned up at the committee room wearing light blue lycra shorts & not much else. He wasn't sure whether I was teasing him or not! But during the conversation the word gay was not uttered.
So it's more a case of 'don't hide it but don't shove it down their throat' isn't it? Maybe?
Love,
Anthony
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
pipo
|
|
Toe is in the water |
Registered: July 2008
Messages: 35
|
|
|
Yes, I think that describes it best. And the ones that "should not know" are mostly friendly with me too, and sometimes delightfully naive 
One of them in all seriousness explained to me and two other members of my team over lunch why his local church had split away from the national PKN church (similar to the Anglican Church in the UK). It was because the national church allows all kinds of silliness, even allowing openly gay people to take part. But, he hastily said, that sort of thing luckily did not exist in his village. This earned him a hearty laugh of one of my team members. I don't think he got the joke.
|
|
|
|
|
Goto Forum:
|
] 
A Place of Safety
Search
Help
Register
Login
Home
