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You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > Seven Degrees of Blondness...a tribute to Eldon!
Seven Degrees of Blondness...a tribute to Eldon!  [message #51983] Wed, 06 August 2008 19:22 Go to next message
Whitewaterkid is currently offline  Whitewaterkid

Likes it here
Location: United States
Registered: May 2007
Messages: 341




FIRST DEGREE.....

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone,
listened a moment and said 'How should I know,
that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up.

The husband said, 'Who was that?' The wife said, 'I don't
know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'






SECOND DEGREE.....

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on
the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the
mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.' The second
blonde says, 'Here, let me see!' So the first blonde hands her the
compact.
The second one looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's
me!'




THIRD DEGREE.....

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her,
so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment
unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him
in the arms of a redhead.

Well, the blonde is really angry.
0AShe opens her purse to take out the gun,
and as she does so, she is overcome with grief.
She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'
The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'


FOURTH DEGREE.....

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly
says, 'Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them.'
A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'
The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy: W.'



FIFTH DEGREE.....

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
'Is it mine?'



SIXTH DEGREE.....

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US
government class.
The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi
pondered the question then finally said, 'That was the decision George
Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware.'



SEVENTH DEGREE.....

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.
She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit,
patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde
ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then
sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned,
'I come home to find all my possessions stolen.
I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a BLIND policeman.'

This is about girl blondes, as we all know boy blonds are WAY wicked smarter, not to mention hunkier, and studlier, and furrier, and generally all around better. Lickable too.
Re: Seven Degrees of Blondness...a tribute to Eldon!  [message #51985 is a reply to message #51983] Wed, 06 August 2008 21:46 Go to previous message
CallMePaul is currently offline  CallMePaul

Really getting into it
Location: U.S.A.
Registered: April 2007
Messages: 907



This may be presumptuous of me but...


Eldon: Do i ever cross ur mind

John: No

Eldon: Do you like me?

John: Not really

Eldon: Do you want me?

John: No

Eldon: Would you cry if I left?

John: No

Eldon: Would you live for me?

John: No

Eldon: Would you do anything for me?

John: No

Eldon: Choose--me or ur life

John: my life

Eldon runs away in shock and pain and John runs after him and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.



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