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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I can see that "I just want to be with" this new guy whose smile and eye contact across the room have captivated me. I want to get to know him, laugh with him, be his friend.
So where, why, and how does getting naked and fucking each other senseless come into the equation?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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It begins with having the balls to get things going of course.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Well, yes. I'm asking this line of questions for the benefit of those whose current experience is lacking the practical aspects.
Or the smart answer is "I think we both have balls!" 
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Then substitute balls for "nerve"
The nerve to make the move is what yields results...
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I think I'm expressing myself poorly.
What I mean is, we're both in conversation. We're getting on really well. He's witty, funny and silly and he seems to like me, too. We know we are each gay. We seem to be the other one's type. We seem, neither of us, even to have touched another guy's arm through an overcoat before, far less touched a cheek, or smoothed hair out of eyes.
I have the nerve. Or rather I am trembling because I wonder if I have the nerve.
What I don't know, I mean truly do not know, is where to go from there. You see, with a girl the other boys have a roadmap, with bases. A kiss, a hand on a breast, a route to alleged heaven. I don't even know if I want to suck his dick! There isn't a gay sex manual, so what do I do? And, what do I even want to do? Will an orgasm "in public" be embarrassing? Will i have a hair trigger? Will he? Will he like me naked?
Have I explained it better now?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Where to go from there?
Thats easy.....
The bedroom, sofa, floor, kitchen table, bathtub, front porch, back porch, around the corner booth at dunkin donuts, last row at the movies, first row at the movies, back seat of the car, trunk of the car, on the hood of the car, on the roof of the car, under a willow tree, on top of a nice soft green lawn, on a beach, in a pool.....
to name but a few....
Oh..... and the ultimate..... on a human chess board at midnight in a driving tropical downpour.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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You carry on being frustrated for a period of getting to know each other - just like straights do. And when you get comfortable to each other, you talk about important things - with includes attitudes to gay sex in general. And sooner or later you just find yourselves holding hands without really noticing it ... just grabbing his hand and running into the sunset: being in love shows in all kinds of ways. Just like straight people. And then you are *both* looking for ways to take things forward physically.
At least, that's how it's always happened for me. From which you will (correctly) deduce that I'm an incurable romantic.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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unsui
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Likes it here |
Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338
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No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 17:44] |
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Oh yes, NW,
and so am I and I think, like you, that the problem is a theoretical one that doesn't occur.
The problem that does occur is later, when one is head over heels and the other begins to get bored. And the bored one goes off and does fun things with other people and the head over heels one has to do something to get back in the running. I think Marc knows how to do that. I don't.
I have two friends who were in that state fifty years ago. Whenever the bored one went off with someone else the head over heels one steeled himself to seduce the guy who had tempted his lover away and so was able to diss him and eventually the wanderer realised this was a bit more of a serious relationship than he had realised and they are still together.
But that took guts and I'm full of admiration.
Love,
Anthony
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It all always seemed pretty natural to me. One thing leads to another. I mean I never had the problem of after having found a guy not finding the way to the bed if there was at least a bit of compatibility!
Or am I still not understanding something, are we that much different than our “str8t counterparts? Heck if you don’t at least start by getting close enough to know if you like the way he smells or not, you could be in for a short term what ever. LOL it does kinda sound like you have a one night stand goin there anyway. 
People will tell you where they've gone
They'll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Other's just come to harm
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