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Your boy's breath on the back of your neck, hehe... makes me go all lightheaded and giddy.
(End Random Moment)
Take Care all,
David.
"I love to see a woman with a sawn-off shotgun..."
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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Do you know how jealous that simple thing makes me...........?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Hi Timmy, Mr. Webmaster sir, I was being nostalgic actually. Haven't had that for a while. I miss it. Thinking about it, kind of makes me think I have it. (if you get my meaning) ??
"I love to see a woman with a sawn-off shotgun..."
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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I know exactly. I have always imagined I had it. It's a good imagine.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Forgive me for prying sir, but are you okay?
You seem kinda down?
"I love to see a woman with a sawn-off shotgun..."
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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Tired, I think. And, as usual, wishing that, just once, even only once...
But, as they say, nostalgia is not what it used to be!
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Very true, sir. Very true.
Still you never know...right?
"I love to see a woman with a sawn-off shotgun..."
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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Well, you do and you don't.
I do know that, one day, should my wife die before I do, I may find solace in the arms of a like minded gentleman, and that I choose not to while we are together.
I also know that I will never be a teenager again and will never be in the arms of a teenager. I'm sure I could rent one, but frankly that is not what I want at all.
I don't want this to turn into yet another "the boring old fart's wishing about what he can't have" thread. I'll always wish for what I was, for so many apparently valid reasons, unable to have. You just tweaked a memory I wish had been mine.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I'm sorry if I upset you, sir.
"I love to see a woman with a sawn-off shotgun..."
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Thing about it is as a teen i had no idea what i had at the time, only retrospect told the tale.
I can not regret what i did have, though I am undecided if it is better to have had and lost rather to have never have had. Silly quandary but the lose and thought that I will not see that again can be very painful.
As you have said so often Timmy, it is 100% for us all no matter our perspective.
People will tell you where they've gone
They'll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Other's just come to harm
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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Good heavens no. I manage to upset myself easily enough with that area without any help
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I look back now and wish I was younger, that is scary because I am only nineteen. It just seems that when I was younger and I was innocent, love seemed to be an adventure. Now, now it just feels like something that perhaps I have mised out on.
Funny, how things work is it not?
David.
:-/
"I love to see a woman with a sawn-off shotgun..."
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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Or something yet to come. When it comes grasp it and hold it close.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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They're gonna need Superman's own set of wire cutters to prise me away, and even then they're up for a fight to the death. Hehe.
"I love to see a woman with a sawn-off shotgun..."
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unsui
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Likes it here |
Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338
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No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 17:26] |
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Hi, Michael.
Memories are great things to treasure, priceless compared to the rarest most beautiful gem the earth delievers. I have many amazing memories stored safely away where no one can get them, and I reflect on them often. But I don't feel that anything could compare to them. Because as a 'child' those memories seemed to be magical, but now that I understand the ins-and-outs of it all...they're just animal instincts and urges.
But the feeling of your boy's breath on the back of you neck, is truly ethereal.
Take care,
David.
"I love to see a woman with a sawn-off shotgun..."
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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You know, animalistic or not, the urges and the outcomes are to be treasured. Love, even lost love, is worth remembering.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I hear you, sir.
I know exactly what you mean.
Hugs.
"I love to see a woman with a sawn-off shotgun..."
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I know what your saying. when Jeff and I are laying together watching a show and he playes with my hair and I can feel him breathing on the back of my neck and I know hes smelling me. Jeff loves to smell my hair, he says I smell like new mown grass LOL.
Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you......
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Lucky sod.
Wish you both lots of luck, Curtis.
David
"I love to see a woman with a sawn-off shotgun..."
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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I am now overwhelmed with a consuming fit of extreme jealousy!
I hope this love never leaves you. Keep it safe and never, not ever, go to sleep on a row without making up.
You made my eyes leak. I am not crying, oh no, that isn't manly. It must be the breeze.
One day, when you decide to travel to England, it will be my pleasure to meet you both, if you wish, and to hug you both in person. Of course I may cry then.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Well, David, you seem to have made a few people regret what they have lost or even never had. But it's quite possible that the best is yet to come for you.
I was nineteen in December 1953, four months after I began my national service in the navy, and at the time I didn't know what my sexuality was and had never had any sexual experience except solo masturbation. In the following year I learned a lot. You are doing much better. One of us, here, told me he began when he was eight! He had ten years more active sex life than I did.
But having everyone go weak at the knees about your memories doesn't help you now. And all this talk adds to the pressure and I think that is a mistake.
I wish you the best of luck and that you make wise choices.
But what about the rest of your life? I went to university after I left the navy and got a degree which had such an effect on the range of things I could do with the rest of my life that I can hardly overstate it.
Doors will be opening and closing for you in many ways and those choices you make will determine broadly the course of the rest of your life.
Love,
Anthony
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Fingolfin
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Likes it here |
Location: Slovakia
Registered: August 2008
Messages: 265
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There was a question posed there...
Is it better to lose what you have or to never have. Neither is good. But if I were to choose from these possibilities, I'd choose the first.
I wish you luck in searching for the one breathing hot breath on your neck in the morning, David.
Marek
It is better to switch on a small light than to curse the darkness.
- Vincent Šikula, Slovak writer
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Well Curtis - that vision is one that just made me smile.
Thank you for that.
It has been a rather hectic September, so a soft smile on my lips from something as simple as that image was worth it.
My best to you and Jeff - as you deserve it.
Centaur
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Dear Centaur,
You wrote:
My best to you and Jeff - as you deserve it.
I agree but would like to ask you "Don't we all?"
I think everyone deserves to have at least one loving relationship.
Love,
Anthony
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I do agree with you, Marek,
but there are degrees of having. I'd guess that many gay men of my age have missed some of the possible gay experiences. Even the experience of living with another man. I certainly have missed that, but I can't regret it. One has to make choices and they all affect you and what you can become. I wanted children. I always wanted them and I got them and the rest pales into insignificance.
I can't recall ever being able to sleep all night and wake up in the morning with another man. Pity to miss that. I've never been able to enjoy loving & painless anal intercourse. I think I'd have liked that.
But this all makes it sound as though I regret my life and the choices I made and I don't. Even the things I know I could have done better at I don't really regret. As Sylvia says of her own life "If I had seriously tried I might have got first class honours and then I would have become an academic and ended up an old maid bluestocking. I'd never have met you. I might never have had children. So I'm glad it turned out this way."
How awful it would be to reach the age of 73 and find that you thought you had wasted your life and had neither fame nor fortune nor self satisfaction to show for it! Maybe I ought to start trying tomorrow!
Love,
Anthony
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Fingolfin
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Likes it here |
Location: Slovakia
Registered: August 2008
Messages: 265
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Anthony, you'll never be too old to start a new adventure...
Marek
It is better to switch on a small light than to curse the darkness.
- Vincent Šikula, Slovak writer
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Thank you for saying that, Marek,
I admit I'm tempted sometimes. At present there's too much to lose. But you are quite right, one is never too old - at least inside I feel 19 still!
Love,
Anthony
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One thing I love... 
Re: One thing I love... 
Re: Never had vs had & lost 
