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You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > Life Control
Life Control  [message #53711] Tue, 30 September 2008 16:39 Go to next message
unsui is currently offline  unsui

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[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 17:23]

Re: Life Control  [message #53712 is a reply to message #53711] Tue, 30 September 2008 17:52 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Roger is currently offline  Roger

Really getting into it
Location: USA
Registered: February 2007
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Im sorry I do disagree with you. Women do use sex as a way to control the men they are involved with. A friend of mine once said that he was getting free sex (not in exactly those words). I dont care who you are or if your married or not, with a female you never got sex for free. If you took her out for fries and a burger, you paid for it. and if you have been married for 50 years, you have been paying for it for 50 years. I saw a commercial one time about a little girl and her mother eatting at a fast food place. When they walk in the door there is a young boy sitting at a table. the girl makes eyes at the boy. The next scene the girl is not ordering anything but the clerk delivers her a chocolet sunday. the girl looks around and the boy winks at her. she looks at her mom and says "Like shooting fish in a barrel".



If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
Re: Life Control  [message #53713 is a reply to message #53712] Tue, 30 September 2008 21:37 Go to previous messageGo to next message
unsui is currently offline  unsui

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[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 17:22]

Re: Life Control  [message #53714 is a reply to message #53713] Tue, 30 September 2008 22:03 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Roger is currently offline  Roger

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Location: USA
Registered: February 2007
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In the commercial the little girl refused to order anything. this was because she knew, by her action entering the place, that the boy was going to buy her the sunday. Her remark to her mother was done to show that the girl knew that her looks and apeal would get the boy to buy the sunday for her.

Every man who ever lived that was involved with a woman has paid for that piece of ass every time. A married man pays for it over and over and over and over till death do us part, or the woman goes thru menopause and cuts him off perminately and he still winds up paying for what hes not getting.

Women teach their daughters that that thing between their legs has a monetary value. A man takes a woman out for a date, he pays for it. A husband buys his wife an anniversary present, he just paid for it, he buys a house, he just paid for it, etc etc etc.........

Dont think that women havent figured this out. Have you ever heard of a woman buying a man an engagement ring? Isnt it odd that its the woman who gets the diamond.



If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
Re: Life Control  [message #53718 is a reply to message #53714] Tue, 30 September 2008 22:33 Go to previous messageGo to next message
acam is currently offline  acam

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Registered: July 2007
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Dear Roger,

you are too cynical. Not all women are like that. I'm married to one who isn't. I think I can say she has never refused me! And I have two daughters who aren't like that and three grand-daughters who won't be (if I have anything to do with it).

And what's all this about the menopause? Neither desire nor enjoyment of it stops when one ceases to ovulate. Sex can continue into one's eighties. (You do have to keep going! Use it or lose it as they say.)

Equal partnerships ARE possible, and not just between two men (or two women).

Love,
Anthony
Re: Life Control  [message #53719 is a reply to message #53718] Tue, 30 September 2008 23:07 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Roger is currently offline  Roger

Really getting into it
Location: USA
Registered: February 2007
Messages: 522



LOL, I might be cynical, but let me ask you this. Did your wife buy you an engagement ring? When you went out on a date did she pay for the meal and intertainment. Does your daugthers take their boyfriends to the Chez ritz and pay for it. Do you get the drift here? Its the woman who gets wooed and smoozed, usually with one goal in mind on the guys part and the woman is going to take advantage of it.

Of course Im being facetious, what Im trying to point out is that in a relationship its not a 50/50 deal. Some men are perfectly happy to work away their lives to keep a woman comfy and happy and you cant blame the woman for seeking out the man who will do just that.



If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
Re: Life Control  [message #53720 is a reply to message #53719] Tue, 30 September 2008 23:25 Go to previous messageGo to next message
unsui is currently offline  unsui

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[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 17:22]

Re: Life Control  [message #53724 is a reply to message #53719] Wed, 01 October 2008 11:14 Go to previous messageGo to next message
acam is currently offline  acam

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OK, Roger,

but I'm sticking to my guns. The reason she didn't buy me an engagement ring was that we got engaged in 1961 when the idea hadn't been thought of and I lived in a family where male jewelery was unthinkable too.

Both daughters got married and divorced in the traditional way and then one got married again and the other lives happily with her man of about fourteen years and their two children. Her reason for not marrying him is that when she first married, her husband's attitude changed dramatically from wooer to owner and she's not willing to risk it again.

I doubt whether any relationship is a 50/50 deal even between two people of the same sex, but I do think ours is closer than most I know of. We really do share the work. The children said that "Mummy's older so she's boss!" but it was partly in jest.

Of course for most of our lives we both worked. She earned more than I did at the beginning and the end, but the period in the middle (including time off to have children and look after them while they were little) was the other way about.

I've always done the clothes washing and the shopping. Now we shop together and I do vacuum cleaning and nobody dusts or polishes.

And, for example, last night I showed her some of the threads in this place of safety! Now how many men could do that without some objection from their wives. I mean even if I had gay partner I'd be embarrassed to show him some of the things I've posted!

Love,
Anthony
Re: Life Control  [message #53725 is a reply to message #53724] Wed, 01 October 2008 11:18 Go to previous messageGo to next message
marc is currently offline  marc

Needs to get a life!

Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729



Isn't it disturbing to refer to divorce as a tradition?



Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
Re: Life Control  [message #53727 is a reply to message #53711] Wed, 01 October 2008 11:58 Go to previous messageGo to next message
NW is currently offline  NW

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Location: Worcester, England
Registered: January 2005
Messages: 1561



I don't actually believe any of this stuff about "From their association with women, men recognize that women’s emotional makeup is more complex than men’s. Women emote over events that leave men oblivious.", "Men can be distressed about any number of things too, but their sex drive is more immediate, less embedded in overriding emotions.", or "Women’s sexual release is embedded in a broad desire for emotional well being involving an almost continuous foreplay encompassing all aspects of their sexual relationship."

*Some* of this may be true for *most* men and women, in the very limited context of our "Western" civilisation. One doesn't have to look very far away to see examples of places where exactly the opposite was held to be true (in the Orkneys, at least until the 1980s, it was commonly held that women tended to be the more sexually aggressive sex, for example).

I just don't buy in to this level of stereotyping. Most - I suspect nearly all - of what we perceive as "typically male" and "typically female" is simply the result of cultural conditioning. The one really positive thing I can say about having made my way as an out gay man for the past thirty years is that there were far fewer pressures to conform to any particular stereotype (and, indeed, fewer stereotypes to conform to!). So I am very happy (for example) to describe myself as someone for whom "sexual release is embedded in a broad desire for emotional well being involving an almost continuous foreplay encompassing all aspects of their sexual relationship." That doesn't make me any less of a man! And yes, that does mean that if I'm upset I don't feel like making love ... it isn't to do with control or sexual rationing, it's to do with sharing and feeling able to give.

I'm not claiming my experiences are necessarily typical - indeed, I suspect that among those who post here they probably are not. But there are *so* many different ways of being male and female, gay and straight, that to settle for the the accidental stereotypes of the society in which we happen to have been born seems to me to risk missing out on the glorious diversity that comprises the range of human experience.



"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
Re: Life Control  [message #53728 is a reply to message #53727] Wed, 01 October 2008 12:38 Go to previous messageGo to next message
unsui is currently offline  unsui

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[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 17:21]

Re: Life Control  [message #53729 is a reply to message #53725] Wed, 01 October 2008 18:33 Go to previous messageGo to next message
JimB is currently offline  JimB

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Marc, he said "traditional", not "tradition". Divorce certainly isn't a tradition. However, there are traditional and non-traditional ways to achieve divorce; a non-traditional way of divorcing would be to kill one's spouse.

JimB
Traditional divorce  [message #53735 is a reply to message #53725] Wed, 01 October 2008 22:12 Go to previous messageGo to next message
acam is currently offline  acam

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Location: UK
Registered: July 2007
Messages: 1849



It didn't seem odd but I suppose it is, Marc.

If I had written 'in the usual way' that might have suited better. Obviously I'm wrong to describe divorce as traditional. I'm not even sure that is has been possible for a century.

Love,
Anthony
Exuberance  [message #53736 is a reply to message #53727] Wed, 01 October 2008 22:21 Go to previous messageGo to next message
acam is currently offline  acam

On fire!
Location: UK
Registered: July 2007
Messages: 1849



Dear NW,

You wrote:
"I'm not claiming my experiences are necessarily typical - indeed, I suspect "that among those who post here they probably are not. But there are *so* "many different ways of being male and female, gay and straight, that to "settle for the the accidental stereotypes of the society in which we happen "to have been born seems to me to risk missing out on the glorious diversity "that comprises the range of human experience.

I *really* agree with that. Which of is typical? Who would claim they were?

No two are alike and yet all can accept the diversity, indeed exuberance of the feelings and experiences of the rest of us.

Love,
Anthony
Re: Life Control  [message #53738 is a reply to message #53729] Thu, 02 October 2008 09:42 Go to previous message
marc is currently offline  marc

Needs to get a life!

Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729



Jim,

Killing ones wife?

Now that IS sick!



Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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