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Take a few minutes today to pin on a Red Ribbon - it's World AIDS day.
AIDS is, of course, not a "gay disease". But as it first came to prominence among western gay men, it has always had a special resonance for us. Some of us have lost friends to the disease. Some may be living with HIV. All of us share a world with the devastation the HIV virus is causing in many places, and the largely preventable horror of mother-to-baby transmission.
For anyone in the UK who is looking for a ribbon, they are more widely available this year - see http://www.worldaidsday.org/get-involved/wear-a-red-ribbon.aspx . Or make your own. Or just wear one in your heart ...
Each of us will have different things we can do to help reduce the prevalence and impact of HIV, at home and abroad. But for those who are - or may possibly become - sexually active, that must always include being informed of risks, and always practising safer sex. If anyone needs to know about this, there's stuff on timmy's site, and a lot elsewhere, and you can always ask here.
Hugs 'n stuff
NW
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Something interested me the moment I pinned the ribbon on. I'm not quite sure how to describe it.
Let's be clear: Being aware of AIDS is absolutely not about homosexuality. Yet society at large still believes that it is.
Even so, pinning the ribbon on made me feel odd, and I don't know how to describe it properly. I've said that. I think it made me feel conspicuous. That's weird, because loads of people were wearing them. X Factor contestants wear them. But I felt conspicuous. Not proud, not intimidated, not afraid, not smug, just conspicuous.
It didn't matter about location. Spending an hour or more propping up the bar in a pub where the clientèle are almost all gentlemen who are not interested in ladies I felt no less conspicuous than in Chapel Market where the scent of machismo is all around.
I wasn't embarrassed, nor shy. I didn't wear the ribbon to make a point or wear it in any way that I would not wear another charitable "flag". I wore it to symbolise that I support the aims of the day it signifies: to help people be aware of AIDS.
Why did I feel conspicuous?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Let face it, it's not a fashionable disease and never really has been.
With it's connection to sex and the sexual act I think it makes it a little more raw a subject so to speak and may rub a subconscious aspects of our sense of privacy.
LOL don't know really, but you should try sitting in the waiting room of an HIV clinic..... Talk about feeling conspicuous!
People will tell you where they've gone
They'll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Other's just come to harm
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's funny, that. I didn't feel conspicuous wearing a red ribbon, but maybe I've got used to it, having done so for the past few years.
However, I *did* feel slightly conspicuous wearing the "GMFA" sticker that we were given for supporting this very worthwhile cause while in the aforementioned pub. OK - just how many people actually recognise this as "Gay Men Fighting Aids"? Probably rather few. And those that do probably have great reason to be thankful to them for the healthcare, services, and courses they run (as do I: the "stop smoking" and other courses helped me a lot!). Nevertheless, I felt in some sense more exposed wearing the GMFA sticker than I do wearing almost any other symbol that I can think of! I think it must just be unfamiliarity.
PS
I should, of course, have mentioned "Fight AIDS at home" project on the World Community Grid in my last post. This can be run as a screensaver, or as a background task on a PC (or Linux box, I think), running calculations to help determine the most effective biochemical strategies for attacking the HIV virus. I've been running it a couple of years now, and haven't had any problems or noticed my PC running any slower ... people might consider giving it a whirl. http://www.worldcommunitygrid.org/
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I found the sticker so much "easier" to wear. Perhaps it is because the sticker was so anonymous.
Yet AIDS Awareness is something so important. So I really do not understand my feelings.
[Updated on: Wed, 03 December 2008 00:43]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I wonder if I'd have felt conspicuous wearing a Chlamydia Awareness ribbon, though. That isn't hugely fashionable either. I do take your point about the disease, but I don;t think that was what made me feel conspicuous.
The one thing is that the conspicuous feeling has cemented my determination to continue to wear the ribbon at appropriate times.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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No, Timmy & NW, I didn't feel any embarrassment wearing a red ribbon. In fact I had to go and look at my coat (which I hadn't worn for two or three years) to see whether it had a ribbon on it. But I was a volunteer at the local aids charity for quite a while. And I had to find a ribbon. And then I was conscious of it and noticed the people in Praed St who also were wearing one.
Fifteen years ago I used to think it was the equivalent of a neon sign saying 'gay guy' but I don't think it is any more.
Love,
Anthony
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Embarrassment wasn't what I felt, though. It was a peculiar feeling, and one I do not recognise.
It had components of: look at me; don't look at me; pride; humility; grief; sadness; feeling I was doing something, however small. There was more in there than that.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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People have probable moved on from this subject, after all world AIDS day only last for a day, but I've been away and wanted to add something.
Your discomfort reminds me of a discussion I had with an HIV caregiver a couple of years ago about an incident that occurred at the teaching hospital he works at that has one of the leading research departments in the country for AIDS.
They were having some kind of open house with booths set up for different department. The thing that struck this acquaintance was the reluctance by doctors from other department to be in any way associated with HIV/AIDS, most declining to wear a red ribbon.
Why this was the case I don't know. So I wouldn't feel in any way alone, and I'll add that I don't find this uncommon at all, even within the "Gay" community. I mean after all as you can see on this forum you find very few people talking about this still very serious subject. Why is that, is it that people are just worn out o the subject? I personal feel that could be, the only problem with that is that the rate of infection has remanded steady and there are still (at least here in the US) hundreds of thousands unaware that they are infected.  ??
Well folks that's it for my semi little rant. Not trying to beat people over the head or anything, just a little perplexed guess.
People will tell you where they've gone
They'll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Other's just come to harm
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arich wrote:
(snip)
> Why is that, is it that people are just worn out o the subject? I personal feel that could be, the only problem with that is that the rate of infection has remanded steady and there are still (at least here in the US) hundreds of thousands unaware that they are infected.
Where I live (London, UK), over one in ten gay guys has tested HIV+. Add in those positive who are untested, those who run away from being tested in case it confirms their fears, and those who describe themselves as "negative" when they should actually say "assumed negative", and it's reckoned that about one in seven gay gays here are HIV+
It gave me quite a shock when, after 20+ years away from the scene here (apart from stewarding on Pride), in 2004 I started to going to a couple of gay mens self-confidence workshops (to hep me adjust to being disabled). At my first one, the subject of HIV status cropped up ... out of a couple of dozen of us, over HALF were living with the virus.
My own status, for what it's worth, is "assumed negative" - I have not had a test since I last had sex. But that was over 20 years ago ... so it's probably a pretty realistic assumption.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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Dear NW,
That little confession would have cost me dearly. I admire that.
And I'll go back and add a comment on the fellatio thread that I didn't quite dare to write before.
Love,
Anthony
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