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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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But some people will take this as the gospel truth!
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Why did you post that link?
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This is also probably not always a thoroughly good idea:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWPMkDDAb7w
but fun, though!
Personally, I chose Easter to tell my mother ... plenty of family distractions to stop her brooding.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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Thank you for that, NW, I enjoyed it.
But I'm not regretting that I never told my mother. She knew enough when she found and read some of Jack's letters to me! She said "You do realise they were love letters, don't you?" And I agreed that I did.
But she burned them before she told me, which I think was mean.
Love,
Anthony
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acam wrote:
(snip)
> But I'm not regretting that I never told my mother.
I never told my grandmother. She knew, of course ... she was always inviting me to come and stay and "bring WHOEVER you want" (which would have been in a bedroom with two single beds ... no question of having to have separate rooms, but preserving the appearance of propriety). I'd've been happy to tell her, actually, but my step-grandfather (who I loved dearly) would have been upset and confused, and I didn't think it right to ask a married couple to keep secrets from one another in that way. So it remained unspoken between my grandmother and me.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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Amazing! But are you sure, NW that he wouldn't have been able to reconcile himself to you?
Sometimes out of politeness or shyness or consideration for their feelings, we hide things from people and it was the right thing to do.
Nowadays I'm brave in retrospect and would tell more people about me.
I think I'd have been happier if I had.
I could be wrong too!
Love,
Anthony
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Oh, he would have continued to love me unconditionally, I'm absolutely sure of that. But he would not have understood, at all, and it would have worried him dreadfully. He'd've felt responsible, in some way (he did much of the parenting job that my father so signally failed at - especially after my parents divorce). And, as he was in very poor health for the last decade or so before he died in 1993, worry was something to be avoided.
I didn't make the decision on my own - I talked it through pretty thoroughly with my aunt (his daughter: my mother's half-sister), who as well as being one shrewd lady is a highly-trained and respected psychoanalyst whose insights into people I have often valued.
In general, I'm not a big fan of keeping things from people "for their own good". I think that he was the only person who I have deliberately concealed my sexual orientation from ...
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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I conceal my sexuality from people who could not cope with it and who are good friends of str8 me. I do it because it would only affect me to tell them.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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