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Old friends [message #55674]

Tue, 03 February 2009 16:30

Likes it here

Location: USA
Registered: September 2003
Messages: 327

I'm at the libray again, listening to music in my laptop. Seems to be a slow day, not many people around. I've decided to include a picture of my point of view just for reference. However, today i don't want to talk about that.

Recently i've recieved an e-mail from an old friend. A friend that meant a lot to me. We used to share a bond, nobody at school understood and always confused with something else. At some point in my life i decided to relocate to a new city. She of course was hurt and did not agree with my decision to do so. Years later, i came back. I did looked for her. To my amazement, it felt like i had never left. The connection was still there and i was able to talk to her despite the time spend apart. Sometime later, i moved again. I never told her i was going to move. The e-mail, essentially,was an angry letter saying how sad she was i did not say anything.

I feel sad for doing that. i remember the first time i moved, she was completely opposed to it. I did not get her support. I figured this time i would keep this to myself. Regarless, i know i should have said something. If only we could change the past.

This is really bothering me.

P.S This is what i see from where i'm sitting.

Photobucket

You don't love someone because they are beautiful, they are beautiful because you love them.

Re: Old friends [message #55675 is a reply to message #55674]

Tue, 03 February 2009 17:12

timmy

Has no life at all

Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13798

What will you do about the email and her feelings?

Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School

Re: Old friends [message #55676 is a reply to message #55675]

Tue, 03 February 2009 17:18

Likes it here

Location: USA
Registered: September 2003
Messages: 327

I no longer have her number so i can't just call her. However, i did sent a reply with my phone number since i find it harder to talk about this over e-mail.

You don't love someone because they are beautiful, they are beautiful because you love them.

Re: Old friends [message #55677 is a reply to message #55676]

Tue, 03 February 2009 17:42

acam

On fire!

Location: UK
Registered: July 2007
Messages: 1849

On two or three occasions during the last ten years I've felt a nostalgic longing to get in touch with old friends or acquaintances.

This week I was to go and see my best friend at school but his wife fell and broke her thigh bone and so it has been postponed. Today I looked up and found the address of a guy who worked with me in my first job.

He was unusual in that he was straight and recognised that I wasn't and said nothing about it until some years later when he told me that one of the other guys was infatuated with me. I wish I'd known!

And I'm going to send him a postcard and am wondering what to say on it.

I suspect that if you don't make your peace with your friend you will regret it sooner or later.

And if I mistake not you are already feeling guilty for having gone off without warning. But I don't know what your relationship was and you are being cagey about it so anything I say may easily be wrong.

But there are some people who I would REALLY like to meet again; gentle, caring, witty people who knew which way was up when I was still behaving childishly. Come back Joe Critchlow.

Love,
Anthony

[Updated on: Tue, 03 February 2009 17:44]

Re: Old friends [message #55678 is a reply to message #55674]

Tue, 03 February 2009 19:16

CallMePaul

Really getting into it

Location: U.S.A.
Registered: April 2007
Messages: 907

She didn't react well to your first move and so you were reluctant to inform her of another. That is an entirely human response - avoiding unpleasantness. But of course it comes back to haunt you because you realize you were only postponing her reaction. Now she feels slighted by your failure to inform her.

What can you do but tell her you did it as a means of sparing her emotional distress? Then explain that you didn't realize, at the time, that you were actually adding to it. All you can do is apologize and attempt to move on. Good friendships can overcome these bumps in the road.

Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.

Re: Old friends [message #55679 is a reply to message #55678]

Tue, 03 February 2009 21:44

Likes it here

Location: USA
Registered: September 2003
Messages: 327

Interesting thing to note. She was the only girl i saw myself with other than just a friendship. However, our lives went different ways. Our friendship was never broken ( i want to say put on hold) until i moved away. She is on the other side of the country.

You don't love someone because they are beautiful, they are beautiful because you love them.

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