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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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In times past, pretty much every time there was a major problem, usually economic, in a nation, that nation went to war. Wars create two things:- employment, both in factories making implements of warfare and in the armed forces.
- loss of life among those who would cause trouble at home
So a war, while it caused local grief, and more than an unreasonable amount of mayhem, created prosperity and removed unemployment. And, if one could have an “Away Match” like the Great War, where much was fought in lands not belonging to the main protagonists, then it somehow was easier.
Today we’re heading into recession. Gordon Brown, bless his little moral compass, given to him by his father, said “depression” yesterday. And we can’t have war as a solution because it simply doesn’t waste enough lives. Today's war is done by a few professional soldiers sailors and airmen in the font line and a load of button pressers behind computers.
But there is a solution, and that is inspired by that uniquely British phenomenon that has spread to Europe: The Football Hooligan. All we do is to extend that to the football supporters, those we see at Manchester Airport in football strip heading for Majorca or the Costa del Lager in the Summer.
Take one stadium and modify it. Put an armoured glass wall between the seating and the arena. Replace the halfway line by a tall steel shutter that retracts into the floor. Fill each half with opposing supporters and arm them with sharp weapons and lager. And then lower the shutter.
Repeat until unemployment is lowered sufficiently.
Note that this also provides work in the meat processing sector of the economy, and that preserved meats may now be supplied in bulk to starving and non vegetarian areas of the globe. So we invigorate that sector of the economy substantially while removing a violent and abusive section of the population.
It’s cheaper than an old fashioned infantry war.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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