|
|
Macky
|
 |
Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
|
|
|
OMG!!! I'll be 58 next month. Quick. Help me remember the good things about getting older. Please?
Number 1 - With each passing year, there are more beautiful young guys to look at.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
 |
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
Ah yes. To Look At.
Our Wednesday evening free paper was delivered by the most gorgeous paper boy. I suppose he's 14. If I were 14 I could say "hi". I'd even know what to talk about.
As a wise older chap, way old enough to be his dad, there is no way I can even offer to pay him to cut my grass.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Macky
|
|
Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
|
|
|
Oh Gawd Timmy! I want to hear something good, for heaven's sake. I'm headed for the graveyard here. 14 year olds are extroadinarily beautiful and they stay that way for about a month. THe world changes as quickly as you observe it. Nothing stays the same. NOw think harder and come up with something real. Like number 2.
Number 2. Each year after 40, a man's sex drive decreases 2%, so he isn't as nuts about his sexual fantasies as he was the year before.
My dad always used to say that the only thing golden about the golden years was the color of his piss. Now, we have to do better than that. Surely this generation has made some progress.
Number 3. Financial security often happens.
Number 4. You are respected by less experienced people in your field.
Number 5. Sometimes you have procreated, and can vicariously participate in the success of your offspring.
Number 6. No matter what a wreck you are, someone likely loves you. Gawd, I love my wife. HOw was I ever smart enough to pick her out!
Carpe Diem! I want to feel good about being one step closer to the grave!
Help, learned people!
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Of all the various things you listed, the only one that remotely apples to me (and I'll be 54 next month, so within spitting distance of the same age) is 4) - "You are respected by less experienced people in your field."
Otherwise, in the UK the proportion of the young in the population is decreasing, I haven't noticed a 26% diminution in my sex drive, financial stability remains a pipe-dream, I have no offspring, and currently no "significant other"
The *really* good things about growing older for me are to do with increasing self-confidence: I know who I am and have forged my own path in life - and hopefully when others forge paths for themselves I mainly manage to find it interesting rather than threatening!
Other things that are great:
Once one has lived a certain number of years, one can start to see that almost everything blows over given a certain length of time - this means that the fierce obligation that many of the young feel to take urgent action about almost everything can become a lot more focussed. Being able to concentrate my energies on the things I regard as *really* important (political stuff, or going for a walk and smelling the flowers, whatever) means I achieve more satisfaction for less effort.
The greater variety of people I meet as life goes on makes me realise that humans are an endlessly fascinating and diverse species - a constant source of wonderment.
I get a lot more out of some of the plays I go to, and a lot more out of the poetry I read. How can one not identify better with things like the glorious "seven ages of man" speech when one has lived through many of them? Am I now "Full of wise saws, and modern instances"? Did political activities (and being out) in my 40s count as "Then a soldier, Full of strange oaths,"?
There are things I've done that have given me a great deal of personal satisfaction: obviously, some regrets at things that didn't turn out as I'd've liked, but on the whole a quiet sense of achievement.
the most hated of the schoolteachers and adults who made my teenaged life such a misery are now dead! A childish remark, I know ... actually, I'm more pleased to have proved wrong their prophecies that I'd "never get anywhere in life" than I am to have proved wrong their prophecies that I'd "self-destruct before I was 30".
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Macky
|
|
Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
|
|
|
I admire your activism. Often times, the people who do the work of bringing about positive change are not the ones who end up enjoying it. The selfless service of dedicated activists makes the world a better place for the future. The nascent wave of societal acceptance of gays is evident today. A quiet sense of achievement is definitely in order.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
e
|
 |
On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
|
|
|
You can simply stop with #1. That is benefit enough. Just looking is probably better anyways. The famntasies are satisfactory and they don't disappoint you by being straight.
Think good thoughts,
e
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
Sorry, Macky. I see no benefits.
I'm your age and have no lack of sex drive, but no ability, and substantially decreasing ability with every passing month, to relate intellectually to the boys I have always wished to relate to since I was one and adored more than one! Every second that passes takes my ship further from their shore. Why would any of them look at a relationship with a man their father's age? Apart from receiving cash for favours, why would any of them even look at me?
Growing older in company with those one desires is fantastic, I'm sure. Growing old while simply seeing them, now that is one's own miniature hell.
As I age my body refuses to behave correctly. I have overeaten and am now diabetic. My eyes no longer see clearly without glasses. My dick, after unpleasant surgery, no longer works properly. My face is no longer smooth. I have lost the immortality of youth and am careworn. My hair is grey. I get tired easily, doubtless the diabetes doesn't help.
So I fear I have very little to say that is encouraging.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I like NW's answer best. Somebody needs to do something specially nice to Timmy; I think he's more depressed than usual.
But as I'm the oldest, I must know better, mustn't I?
I think it is a mistake to be proud of one's children's achievements or to be sad if they fail in some way. As "they fuck you up" has it, and as I have seen extensively in my own family, to have parents with high expectations pushing you may be counter-productive. A high-achieving father or elder brother may make life very difficult.
But it can be a delight to watch children grow up. New people that one is privileged to know and talk to and who keep on saying and doing astonishing new things and if one is lucky listen with interest to what the old fogeys say. And now I have four grandchildren.
And I'd say it would be a mistake to be a do-gooder, but part of the delight in life is to do good. In subtle ways like using the right word and telling it how it is - giving people permission to be open. I've just been to a pre-med interview for my cataract operation and when asked if I'm taking any regular medication I look the nurse in the eye and say "Only Levitra - but I don't suppose it's relevant." And she says "What's Levitra?" and I say my doctor's choice of Viagra lookalikes." And she bursts out laughing and says "I don't think I'll put that down on the form!"
And, in a way, I think I do good by being eccentric and willing to laugh at myself about it. I turn up in tights and people say "Oh! Did you cycle here then?" And I say "No. I just dress like this." And grin at them and I'm old enough to get away with it.
And as one gets older more bits of one don't work as well as they used to do and one's abilities decline but the pressures to do well also are less and there is time to do things and no need to pretend any more - pretend anything - I mean if I'm invited somewhere and don't want to go I just say so; forty years ago I'd feel I had to make an excuse such as a prior engagement.
And I used to have a very short fuse. I would lose my temper and say or do things I regretted. I'm much more equable now. Maybe even a nicer person. I wonder.
Perhaps that would really be the benefit of getting older - becoming a nicer person. Think about it.
Love,
Anthony
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
Depressed? No, not really. I'm a realist. I can never, not ever, experience what I crave because I am no longer the image myself of what I crave. So I make the best of it.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Yes, Timmy, it's a pretty good best too. You have earned a lot of gratitude and I hope you realise how important you are to the rest of us.
We can none of us be perfect. My daughters once bought me two enamelled plaques for my birthday. One said "Nobody's perfect" The other said "I am Nobody". I still have them.
The thing to do is not to wish for the impossible too hard. I'd love to be able to leapfrog lamp-posts but it will only make me unhappy to wish and wish and wish. That's what so disappointing about prayer.
As Sylvia has often said "Fortune favours the prepared mind." in other words if you know what it is you want then when an opportunity arises you will be prepared and can take it.
She says that's how she got me! Nice to be flattered occasionally isn't it?
Love,
Anthony
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Macky
|
|
Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
|
|
|
I love your posts, Anthony! There is so much profound wisdom and humor in what you say. I think you will live forever. You are the beauty of getting older on display for me, in lycra, no less. I'll tell you a secret.
When I am out and about and I see a beautiful man, I want to give him a little peck on the cheek kiss. Now this can be disastrous to a younger man's dental work. But for a feeble old, possibly demented gay man, it could well be accepted with a smile! What do you think? Does this possibility lie in my future?
Love
Macky
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Macky
|
|
Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
|
|
|
Timmy, sometimes I wish I could reach out through the transmission packets and hug you. I'm just a busted down old man like you, buy I really do empathize with you in your affliction. I wish that there were something I could do to bring a little hapiness into your life, as I'm sure your wife, and everyone on this forum does. Diabetes is hard, and it can compound the torments that you already have. Please take good care of yourself! I told my wife about this thread and she suggested 2 more advantages of growing older, as a gay man's partner.
1. Your partner gives better hand jobs because of the shakey arm tremours.
2. Your partner gives better blow jobs due to teeth not being so sharp.
Please try to smile.
Love
Macky
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Macky
|
|
Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
|
|
|
Nice to hear from a similar minded person,e. I don't have to own the Mona Lisa to exhult in its beauty. Likewise, I don't have to lie naked next to a young beauty to enjoy his awesome physical perfection. But when I get old and decrepid enough, I'm going to give young Ganymedes and Adonises kisses on the cheek, under the guise of Alsheimer's. Nobody would slug a grandpa with a feeble mind, would they?
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
Oh, I'm not a busted down old man! I am 15 inside my head. I have the rollerblades to prove it!
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Macky
|
|
Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
|
|
|
That's the spirit. Roller blades certainly substantiate your claim. Skateboards are big around here. I might get one. Not to use it, mind you, but just to prove to the kids around here that I am one of them. I think if I have to use it to be a kid, however, that I'll just go back o being a busted down old man.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Yes, Macky, I think you will get away with it. Tonight I took grand daughter Megan to her Judo class (her mother was at a school governors' meeting) and I didn't realise I was supposed to stay and watch and leave with her so I didn't bring a book.
Among the other people waiting were a splendid black man and a guy with a little girl who was bored and did all the thing bored little girls do. She fell off her chair. She told him to change chairs and sit next to me and to let her play with her sister's toy snake. I was, as usual wearing tights - black with blue flashes - and the father of the little girl was too - also by Ron Hill but black and yellow (and very superior fitting). So I spent most of the session playing with the little girl. I had a steel tape measure on my bumbag belt and she found it fascinating.
The next session was for much more advanced students. By the end of Megan's session quite a few were waiting to go in. They were nearly all well set up young men and a couple were really beautiful. I smiled at those whose eye I caught by accident and got one knowing wink, but I said not a word. And the black man, whose other son was practising football with Bristol Rovers, and the little girl's father and I were quite good friends by the end. We none of us know the names of the others.
Another of the benefits of getting old is that I have discovered how not to be shy without shocking the natives!
Love,
Anthony
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Macky
|
|
Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
|
|
|
A knowing wink from a beautiful young man is really good, but my idea is better. I'll hobble up to him when he's not looking and give him a quick kiss on the cheek. When he turns, glaring at me, I'll say 'Is that you Mabel?'. Then a beautiful smile will appear on his face. That's my goal. I'll kiss as many of them as I can before I die or one of them kills me. It would be a life well spent.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You need to find a place to go sailing again Timmy!
Just had a thought, LOL dangerous huh, you could always start teaching sailing! It would get you in shape, and, bring you more into sphere of contact with those so desirable.
Just a crazy thought hehe I’m full of them!
::-)
[Updated on: Fri, 03 April 2009 13:30]
People will tell you where they've gone
They'll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Other's just come to harm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
Ah, my instructor's certificate has lapsed, and I would have to go through the entire rigmarole again. Plus the temptations of keeping my hands to myself......
It's a great thought, but dangerous!
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ah but think of the other senses that would be satisfied; sight, sound and last but not least smell. Think at this point I could resist touch for those other.
It would be good for you all the way around!
People will tell you where they've gone
They'll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Other's just come to harm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Macky
|
|
Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
|
|
|
Forguve me for butting in guys, but I think a very important aspect of this conversation is being overlooked. That is Timmy could get into a situation that could cause him more pain.
I have mentored lots of boys in my life, and always was chaste and respectful of their ages. But once, love sneaked up on me. I had 2 years of emotional trauma extracating myself from my emotions. It can happen no matter how well you guard against it. There need be nothing physical for love to kick you in the nuts.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
 Fortunately I'm ok with falling in love. The thing is that it needs to be a bond of equals for me.
Falling in lust is a different matter though.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I'm sure you are right, Macky, that obsession could strike like lightning and unexpectedly. And surely many of us could be struck, not just Timmy.
I've just been re-reading Mihangel's A Younger Orogeny. It does ring true to me although the people in the story have more self restraint and control than I think is natural or maybe even possible.
Love,
Anthony
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ahh yes well by all means don’t take any chances. LOL “One day you will wake up, in the present age a million generations removed from expectations of being who really want to be.” Or take a chance.
“Skating Away On The Thin Ice of A New Day”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDosgkws0-c
Be Cool guys
People will tell you where they've gone
They'll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Other's just come to harm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Macky
|
|
Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
|
|
|
Arich
Obviously, there is much truth in what you say. There is much to be said for taking chances. I guess each person has to weigh his chances of achieving his goal against the effort and risk involved in taking the chance. I guess each person has to use his own individual criteria for determining if the chance is worth the risk.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
|
|
|
|
|
Goto Forum:
|
] 
A Place of Safety
Search
Help
Register
Login
Home
