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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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I have a problem with the word "love". I never feel comfortable using it because I really don't know what it means. Looking it up on dictionary.com, I find 28 shades of meaning for the word. So it would appear that etymologists have little knowledge of its meaning as well. I think the word is often confused with words like "lust" and "admmiration". I think for me "love" involves the desire to give, "lust" involves the desire to receive and "admiration" is devoid of desire. What do you think?
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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There is a paperback called 'The Four Loves' which examines the idea of love taking it from four Greek words for love. Unfortunately I no longer have my copy and have forgotten the author and publisher.
Hugs
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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The author or "The Four Loves" was C.S.Lewis. Im sure the book can be easily located. My copy is a bit worse for wear.
If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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I don't think admiration is in the same league as love or lust. And yet I wonder what it is I feel when I "admire" our Wednesday evening paper boy, for I neither lust after him nor love him, but seeing him makes my day.
Love for me can be brotherly or as a partnership. Neither is sexually oriented, but the latter can lead to it.
Lust is the desire to share the person sexually, it is separate from love, but may co-exist with it. Though I have more than once lusted after someone I wanted to dominate totally, and not share. That was not something to be proud of, but it was interesting!
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Of course, Roger, how could I forget? I read a lot of C S Lewis in my younger days.
Hugs
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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Macky, Im no expert on love and cant tell you for sure what it is, its something you have to feel and you just know inside that its right. I dont claim to be an expert on relationships, but I was with my partner for over 30 years. All I know is that I was willing to give 100% of myself to him without question and I know he was willing to do the same. I think love is the depth of the commitment the two of you are willing to make to each other.
If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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It has to be love to sustain a partnership for over 30 years! Just hearing about a relationship like that does my heart good. And if it was with another man, to have a successful relationship like that with the whole world against you....well, that REALLY must be a very special love.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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I think you feel admiration for your paper boy. You are admiring him like an art aficionado admires the Mona Lisa. Beauty can move the spirit very deeply. Sometimes I find myself wondering what I am feeling when I look at a beautiful boy. I call it admiration, because, like you, I neither want to possess nor give myself to him. I just want to marvel at his natural beauty, like a sunset or a mountain. Does the heart good, I think.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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It is not admiration. I admire a beautiful scene, or a horse, or good architecture.
This more a wistful wish.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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True. A wish to be like that.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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Not even that. A wish to know and be simple friends with someone so lovely to look at. Ans a wistful wish to be that age again and to hope for more.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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Yeah, its a nice wistful wish, but if I had to go back with all the hurts and hangups I had at that age, I'd have to choose to remain a busted down old man. That paper boy is probably wishing he were old enough to drive. So, by damn, I'm gonna find a way to enjoy being old, even if it kills me..
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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Why do you think you are "a busted down old man"?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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It's a term of endearment by which I enjoy referring to myself.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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It seems to me to be more than a little demeaning. I'm not sure you would appreciate a total stranger referring to you thus, would you?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Aren't you ever diffident, Timmy?
I'm almost sure I've seen you refer to yourself in such ironically unflattering terms on this site. Usually when you want to encourage someone to boost their self-esteem.
Love,
Anthony
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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Diffident? Yes. But I do tend to question a degrading label.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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My best friend of my youth was more than 70 years my senior. My lover for 9 years was 26 years my senior. When I call myself a busted down old man, these are the images I see. If a kid called me a busted down old man, I'd see the same images, and my heart would smile.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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Then I understand. It's good to get some perspective. I'm glad it is a true endearment 
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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