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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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I hope it is not presumptuous of me to start a thread with this title, as middle age is receding in my rear view mirror. However, even in my youth, elderly men were attractive to me. When I was young, I found that they showed a wonderful sensitivity and keen appreciation for my body. I also found in my younger days, as well as now, that their depth of thought, their level of concern and their advice and experience was a treasure trove of of information on how to live an enjoyable life. Does anybody else out there like us?
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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I've never encountered any, Macky. The occasional lonely hearts adverts that claim to like older men always look to me as if they are gold-digging or worse.
On the other hand, while finding the young sometimes stunning I think to find someone attractive as long term partner material they would have to be within five or ten years of my age (74) - undoubtedly elderly! What I think is that my knowledge of the world and many of my prejudices depend upon my age. Even people who CAN remember the Festival of Britain and WW2 are bored by my reminiscences. How much worse for people that can't relate to those things!
Love,
Anthony
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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Anthony, anyone who can't recognize you for the sweet old guy you are needs to spend more time talking with you. I'd say your age collar is much too narrow. However, it's very true, we older guys have to watch out for those gold diggers. A chat room for married guys that I sometimes visit seems to attract that sort, and they're not hard to spot.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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But by the same token, an older guy can't judge ever young man that takes an interest in him, as a gold digger. At age 34, I wanted to make my open relationship with my 60 year old lover exclusive, permanent and to live together. But he had been taken advantage of by a younger man earlier in his life. He couldn't trust me. That was sad.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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Yes, Macky. I've had three relationships with people not close to my age. All of them were older than I was (10 or 15 years) and there was never any question of commitment (or, for that matter of my loving them).
I wouldn't automatically be suspicious of people I talked to face-to-face - my remark about gold-diggers was about some of the 'lonely hearts' ads I've seen. But during those three relationships I was very sensitive about such things as presents and paying for meals; if I couldn't pay my share I wouldn't go out.
Money differences can easily sour a relationship!
No 2 daughter divorced her husband basically because she could not bear the idea of being financially dependent on him and knew that if they had children she would be.
Love,
Anthony
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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I think that some older guys have an especially hard time believing that a younger guy loves them. Usually people who have attained wealth or status. Besides being taking advantage of once, this was probably part of the problem my 9 year partner had regarding full commitment. He was a Harvard educated PhD and executive vice president of a publishing company. But that was not at all what attracted me to him.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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Warning: If you can't hack schmaltz, better pass. But I love this shit.
http://www.telstarsblog.com/?p=5530
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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... and whether, or not, societal mores and attitudes to intergenerational relationships have altered since my youth some 40-years or more ago.
Whilst, I have always been somewhat fascinated with those "men of a certain age", to wit, the "silver foxes" and "iron-grey and steely-eyed souls" and as often as not, saw they did well and truly stop traffic in their stride, I can't say, that like you "Macky", I'd ever really found much older men physically attractive to me. I do know, that I never quite understood the rather abhorrent attitudes my peer's exhibited towards the legion of aging suitors that beset us in the myriad bars, clubs and baths of the times.
I recall vividly one older gentleman (an octogenarian if truth be told, and a Supreme Court of Ontario Judge, to boot) of my steam bath acquaintance, whom I would never pass by without pausing to share a coffee and conversation with; it cost me nothing other than a few minutes of my time, and afforded him the opportunity to hold my hand, pat my knee, and otherwise feel that his evening out had been well spent. He was not alone in receiving such attention from me; there were many others too, be they in a bath or bar, and seldom anything even remotely sexual driving these encounters. My peers derided this behaviour in me, time and time again, snidely suggesting all manner of circumstance whereby they might partake of some "tired old queen's affections". Reminding them, that they too would age, and likely find themselves in similar circumstances one day, deterred neither them, nor their remarks one iota.
I willingly admit that in my thirties I was largely attracted to youths in their late teens and early twenties; but, I've discovered that as I've aged, the age of those that might draw my prurient interest has risen too, with that now being in the neighbourhood of their late thirties and early forties; but I would never rule out, in some future time and place, my being befuddled by any male "of a certain age", regardless of their being older, or younger than myself.
My being GAY was decidedly a young man's pursuit. The gay youth of my adopted Toronto were turbulent times, fraught with much anxiety and change. The streets of olde Yorktowne were awash with successive tides of the young, all posturing one manner or another, and dabbling in things Aunt Mary and Uncle Pete back home could never (if they were to be believed), ever, have visualized let alone attempted.
It wasn't cheap being gay either; what with the constant need to be fashionable, and our ever unrepentant craving for the attention of those who surrounded us. My bar-tabs were horrendous, my clothing allowance continually in tatters, my credit-cards maxed out, and favoured eateries in a state of flux from one moment to the next dictated more by their "see and be seen" quotient than their culinary skills.
The 1960's were, for me, a time of "The Club Mynah Bird", "The King Edward Hotel" and "Lettro's", "The 5-11", "The St. Charles Tavern" and "The Café Normandie" at "The Westbury", "The Rock Pile" or "The Gogue Inn", "The Roman Sauna" and "The Finnish Sauna", "The Arts and Letters Club", "The Squash and Racket Club", "The Hunt Club" and "The Cricket Club"; a time of weekends spent in Muskoka, the Haliburtons or Prince Edward County, of depraved trips taken to Vancouver, Montréal, St. Jovite and Mont Tremblant, Riviére de Loupe or Quebec City, if in country, and Bal Harbour, Palm Beach, Provincetown or Long Island, if not, to name a few.
Changes to the Canadian Criminal Code were forthcoming, but would not be fully realized until March of 1967 with the first of several repeals to the code being enshrined, and the last of which in 1972, removing the all remaining barriers to being gay in Canada. This was only the first step, and albeit a tremendous hurdle having been surmounted; but, it would be another decade or more before societal attitudes became less polarized, and Police harassment diminished to any significant extent.
The 1970's, not to put too fine a point on it, were a whirl-wind of dance clubs, baths, orgies and towel-parties, with nothing seemingly too bizarre or excessive to be experienced; this latter circumstance largely contributing to why none, save two, of my 40-odd friends of the period are alive this day, my having buried the last of them in 2000; most casualties of the ravages of AIDS.
These twenty years were a period of constant work-related travel, with my spending extended periods living and maintaining homes, in addition to those here in Toronto and Ayr, in Los Angeles, Corpus Christi and St. Malo.
It would be the 1980's, and moving home to care for my then ailing father, and my remaining in that home after his passing to provide for my mother, that I finally matured, and became grounded to any significant extent, and it would prove to be my providing shelter and then adopting, first one and then another "throw-away" teenaged boy from the adjacent community where I then resided, that would complete the process of my reaching adulthood.
The intervening years left little time for me to develop interest, let alone long term commitment to men whom I interacted with daily, and it is only just recently that I'm once again thinking of placing myself on the market at all.
Warren C. E. Austin
Toronto, Canada
[Updated on: Sat, 23 May 2009 21:09]
"... comme recherché qu'un délice callipygian"
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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Yeah, Austin, I did a lot of the bar scene in the last part of the 70s and in the early 80s. It was much as you describe except that is not where the older guys were. I used to go to potluck socials for gays that were organized by an older celibate retired Roman Catholic priest. I saw an older guy there who was definitely not the life of the party. He was extremely courteous to everyone, no matter age or looks. He didn't talk a lot because he was overcoming problems with stuttering and he hadn't yet quite whipped it. I found him readily approachable and appreciative of a younger guys notice. I was charmed by the remnants of his stutter. He reminded me of Jimmy Stewart (of Its a Wonderful Life Fame), not just because of the slight stutter, but his personality was so innocent and charming...just like Jimmy Stewart's was. I knew him for years before we ever slept together. He just got beautiful, like the tag line to my posts say. We found much in common not the least of which was a keen interest in religion. Both he and I had joined the seminary to become RC priests, but I went AOL before ever showing up (it was cute young blond) and he did a couple years before succumbing to the bath scene. So I guess what I am trying to say is, yes, in a line up I can tell that the young dude is better lookin than the old guy. But probably there's more depth to the older guy. If you just want sex, the younger guy will do fine, but if you want a relationship, I think an older guy is more often than not the way to go.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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ray2x
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: April 2009
Messages: 430
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If I may a bit late, pondering my advancing age is a bit good one day, not good the next. I've seen many relatives whom I've lived with all my life suddenly pass away and ponder their strengths and weaknesses. I marvel at my aging parents who seem indestructible but are only too human in their failing health. I see myself in every relative who bravely faces their age gracefully. I can hope I brave my upcoming end with their dignity.
However, as Dylan Thomas wrote, I will strive to "not go gentle into that good night". I have much to look forward to: my daughter, my late coming gay acceptance, maybe overcoming my fear of flying to visit friends.
Raymundo
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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Mundo,
I find that each age has its delights. That holds true if you are pondering your own advancing age or if you are watching others. My credo is to look for the good and beautiful in all ages, in myself, and in all people.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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ray2x
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: April 2009
Messages: 430
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I'm doing both looking out for my own and for others advancing ages, Macky. Lately within our family there have been a few recent deaths close together. It happens with all families. Even with our pet cat who we had to put to sleep due to cancer. It even concerned a former friend from about 30 years ago who I found out of his death by pure luck. His death hit me hard. We had a possible relationship brewing but he just disappeared until I discovered about his death in a news article (believe me it was the purest of luck that I happened to read that article). So with the advance of age, we all are pulled towards a final day.
So, with the age of our universe at around 13-14 billion years old, I figure we are also about that old. So 50 years of this life followed by a few more billion (even trillion years) of life left for our universe, I'd say we can look forward to a few more posts.
Raymundo
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