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I have a friend who is not proud about his size. Not because he is small, but because he is too big. I find this interesting. Most guys worry about being too small, he wants to reduce his size. He says that when he has tried to have sex with guys it hurts them too much. He loves to top, but at the same time doesn't want to hurt the other person. For that reason, he rarely tops because most guys can't take what he has to offer.
What is the perfect size?
I must admit. Couple years ago I asked a friend to show me his penis since he always bragged about how big he was. When I saw it I was intimidated by it. I can't cay I would have done anything with him. It was just too much.
Is there such a thing as too much?
When I look at adult videos, the image of a large penis seems appealing. However, when I saw my friend, it kinda turn me off.
You don't love someone because they are beautiful, they are beautiful because you love them.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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One thing to remember for anal sex is that the anus will, with training, accommodate quite a girth. Length is also possible with a lot of practice. It is unlikely that an enormous dick can be a casual fuck!
Penile reduction surgery is as possible as enlargement, but there is a risk of sensory nerves being cut. I strongly advise him to avoid this.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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You're right about the practice - especially with length, timmy. But almost anything is possible, given patience and plenty of lube (and perhaps a bit of experimenting to find the best position).
I've had lovers ranging from three inches to eleven inches (about 75mm to 275 mm) in length ... and once over the shock and learning curve, for me it really does depend on the guy it's attached to, rather than the size of the dick.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I think that the key to any successful lovemaking is precisely that. LOVEmaking. You don't have to be IN love, but, if you act as though you are, then you care for your partner.
This means that the massively endowed guy must take care of his partner, but it means, as well, that the partner must care for the massive endowment and make sure that his lover is not embarrassed or unhappy in any way.
So it takes care, time and teamwork. And the confidence to say "stop, I'm not ready yet" and to do it firmly and gently at the same time.
No-one wants sex to be painful (unless that is precisely what they both desire), they want it to be GOOD.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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what you say is true timmy. my friend, however, has had a partner for almost 2 years and his partner just cant take it; even though, my friend tries to go slow and do all the things you mentioned above. my friend still wishes to be the top and for the time being, he settles for being a bottom.
im not much of a bottom, but for my partner, i do try to do it often. sometimes it feels good, other times i ask him to stop when it starts to feel uncomfortable. i do try to give him what he asks of me.
You don't love someone because they are beautiful, they are beautiful because you love them.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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A very positive suggestion for your friend is that he and his partner invest in a selection of smooth dildos of increasing girth. NOT a tapered one that can do damage, but a simple set of size increments with individual dildos.
Here I am assuming that girth is the problem, not length.
The dildos are NOT a clinical exercise. They shoudl be used as a part of real love play, preferably inserted initially by the bottom, not the top.
After several months of gentle preparation the girth will be easily accommodated.
If he can't find them in a store he needs to carve them lout of wood and varnish them to remove the chance of splinters. Do not bother to simulate a penis in appearance, this is just for dilation. Decorative candles may be available in useful sizes, but usually only when you don't need one!
Something like http://www.stockroom.com/Rectal-Dilators-Set-P2473.aspx will meet the need, though the mushroom head is not reqired
How do I know this will work? Well, I have a collection of dildos!
If length is the problem then the top must just not ram himself home. The internal geometry has a 90 degree bend about four inches in. With practice this can be overcome, but there is no particular extra pleasure for the bottom by doing so. The prostate is WAY back near the anus.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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The bigger my belly gets, the smaller my penis gets. I fear that it shall soon disappear (the penis, not the belly). Might I suggest a high fat high carb diet for the sufferer.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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This question has led to a new fun poll
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy wrote:
> A very positive suggestion for your friend is that he and his partner invest in a selection of smooth dildos of increasing girth. NOT a tapered one that can do damage, but a simple set of size increments with individual dildos.
By "tapered dildo," do you mean butt plug? I can see how it could cause damage if it were pushed in too fast, but the taper can be a good way to increase the dilation gradually. The key is not to be impatient. The dildo does not have to go all the way in, the first or third time you try it.
Very important, don't forget ube. Slather it onto the dildo and into the anus.
> The dildos are NOT a clinical exercise. They shoudl be used as a part of real love play, preferably inserted initially by the bottom, not the top.
Well, a dildo can be used without a partner, and a plug can be worn for several hours (make sure the lube does not dry out!) to relax the anal spincter. When a partner is present, a gloved finger (and lube!) work more effectively. Being narrower, the finger goes in more easily and can be worked around to help the bottom relax. Eventually, a second or third finger can be added (but see my comments below).
>
> After several months of gentle preparation the girth will be easily accommodated.
>
Yes, it can take months, or much less. It is important for the top to assure the bottom that he is not in a hurry. (Shouting "Relax!" rarely helps.) This preparation should be an enjoyable part of lovemaking, worthwhile even if the bottom is never able to go any further.
peter
"Tu non altro che il canto avrai del figlio, o materna mia terra..."
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Pedro Castanya wrote:
> timmy wrote:
> > A very positive suggestion for your friend is that he and his partner invest in a selection of smooth dildos of increasing girth. NOT a tapered one that can do damage, but a simple set of size increments with individual dildos.
>
> By "tapered dildo," do you mean butt plug? I can see how it could cause damage if it were pushed in too fast, but the taper can be a good way to increase the dilation gradually. The key is not to be impatient. The dildo does not have to go all the way in, the first or third time you try it.
>
I mean a conical one, because pushing a device of increasing girth ever so firmly into the anus will rip it apart easily. There's too much fasle security, and the leverage a cone gives is huge. I am much keener on rond tipped parallel sided dildos than the butt plug I showed as an illustration
> Very important, don't forget ube. Slather it onto the dildo and into the anus.
You know, too much lube can fool you in to pushing too hard. "It's lubricated so it MUST fit." I'm a fan of the right amount, renewed whenever needed.
>
> > The dildos are NOT a clinical exercise. They shoudl be used as a part of real love play, preferably inserted initially by the bottom, not the top.
>
> Well, a dildo can be used without a partner, and a plug can be worn for several hours (make sure the lube does not dry out!) to relax the anal spincter. When a partner is present, a gloved finger (and lube!) work more effectively. Being narrower, the finger goes in more easily and can be worked around to help the bottom relax. Eventually, a second or third finger can be added (but see my comments below).
Using it solo is fine, but is clinical, really. It's always better to do things with the person you love if you can.
Fingers are odd. Sometimes the finger is wonderful and other times it's a bony annoyance. Never understood why.
As a personal preference I've never liked butt plugs worn for a long period. To me they are associated with master/slave play when deployed that way. Your mileage may vary!
Anything other than mild initial discomfort and you are being too ambitious. I was when I was a kid. Carved a larger than life phallus, inserted it, loved it for a few seconds, then the pain hit. That delay is a great thing to make a fool of you! Would I take it out? No I would not! Well not until orgasm anyway, when it could not come out soon enough.
>
> >
> > After several months of gentle preparation the girth will be easily accommodated.
> >
>
> Yes, it can take months, or much less. It is important for the top to assure the bottom that he is not in a hurry. (Shouting "Relax!" rarely helps.) This preparation should be an enjoyable part of lovemaking, worthwhile even if the bottom is never able to go any further.
I LOVE that!
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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The results are interesting.
Proportional is the way to go
You don't love someone because they are beautiful, they are beautiful because you love them.
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Thank you for tall the suggestions. I already do all those things with my partner. We both communicate to make the other one is feeling alright.
i'll be sure to share the info with my friend though.
You don't love someone because they are beautiful, they are beautiful because you love them.
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ray2x
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: April 2009
Messages: 430
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M, I also think emotional is a way to go. My boyfriend of youth was 5" or greater depending on his sexual excitement. But the way we could play or handle one another's penis was what made our love exciting and refreshing. We fit so the saying goes.
Raymundo
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Re: penis size 
