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jon
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Getting started |
Registered: May 2009
Messages: 5
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jon
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Getting started |
Registered: May 2009
Messages: 5
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I’m a parent, we all have faults and the true thing about us is we can only do our best at a job that we had no training in .
My parents i think has issues and that meant they done the best for me that they could but also gave me issues that i had to deal with later on.
So you can never be perfect as a parent, it’s all to do with what training you had, and that was done by your parents.
So never blame them, they can only do there best .
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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I think that sometimes we are a little to quick to blame our parents on imperfections we see in ourselves. Parents are a great influence early on, but by no means the only or the greatest influence. There are teachers, ministers, friends, passers by; millions of people and events influence us throughout our lives and make us what we are. And if parents do make mistakes, how are we to blame them, when they are just a product of the genetics and environment that made them what they are? The only way to look at it is that we are all in this life together and each of us bears some responsibility for the bad in the world, as well as, some credit for the good in it.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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That they "can" only do their best does not mean at all that they always do it.
Mine did not.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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jon
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Getting started |
Registered: May 2009
Messages: 5
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i agree,
but i do my best.
In a childs mind if you argue it's really bad in a childs mind ,to an adult we are caught up in the present, so we forget that the kids listen.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I was raised by parents who never saw my point of view or even felt I was entitled to one. They never apologised to me when it mattered, ever. They lied to themselves about my achievements to make me seem better than I was and forced me to lie to people about them too.
I'm glad you do better for your kids. 
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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People are products of the choices that they make. They can choose to be influenced by their environment or they can choose differently.
I blame my parents for the choices they made. I do not blame them for my imperfections.
I blame them for the awful way they chose to bring me up. I blame them for my horrible teenage years. I blame them for making me afraid of them. These are all things that they chose, and can not be excused by environment.
My own imperfections are of my own making. I made my own choices. I do not accept your hypothesis.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Dear Macky. You wrote 'how are we to blame them', but your argument applies not just to parents; it applies to everyone in all circumstances so perhaps you don't blame anyone ever for anything.
I can't accept that. I think we can (and most of us do) hold people responsible for what they do and we approve or disapprove. If they are our children or we are in charge of them we may even reward some and punish other actions (maybe only with words - but they are the sharpest weapons).
But, like most of us, I am sure my parents did their best - at least in the early years. And I can't immediately identify the faults they passed on to me (excluding the genetic tendency to arthritis in the knees etc).
Love,
Anthony
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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Anthony,
Since you postulate the existence of free will, when there is no logical evidence to prove its existence, the burden of proof is upon you to demonstrate the nature and origin of free will. Societal convenience is no proof.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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Timmy,
You have as much right to your opinion as I do to mine.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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The thing is I am telling you what I have experienced. It is not an opinion. It is facts. You have some sort of hypothesis that has circular logic and is thus impossible for you to break free from. Until, presumably, it is determined that you do, presumably by your genetics and your environment, which will not ever happen because your environment is this weird hypothesis.
I object most thoroughly to your patting me on the head and thrusting your hypothesis upon me as though it were true. It is, instead, your quasi-religion. I do not espouse any religion, least of all this one.
I make my own decisions. My parents made theirs, for all their faults. Your pseudo-religion allows no blame for anything. It is plain and simple bollocks.
Have your alleged opinion by all means but keep it well clear of me.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Bullshit.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Dear Macky, who says I have to prove free will? What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. There is no reason why you don't have to prove determinism first.
The burden of proof is a legal concept which is useful when there is an authority who decides where the burden of proof lies. For this sort of metaphysics there is no way of deciding.
Love,
Anthony
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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True. Sorry. It just sounded like such a gfood argument when you used it.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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Got it. You have the facts. I have opinions.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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No. You have total unmitigated bullshit. Cease attempting to stuff it down my throat.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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