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I found out this afternoon that my best friend Don died yesterday. He was 14 years older than me, but we had a lot in common. We both loved skiing and antique cars. I would travel to New Hampshire twice a winter to ski with him. In the summer, I would visit him for a week and work on his old cars. He and I owned the same kind of car, 57 Chrysler 300's, and if his car needed something fixed, it was more than likely I had already done the deed on mine. He and I walked through miles of car shows, he telling me all about the finer points of the brass era cars, or the Model A Fords. I'd talk trivia about the designers of this classic Packard or that Duesenberg. We were kindred spirits in the car world, and reveled in the fact that car guys can be gay.
I knew Don for about 25 years. The first 8 I hadn't even realized he was gay. He had been married and had 3 kids. I came out to him about 4 years ago. He was the first person to whom I verbalized the fact that I was gay. It took me about 2 hours and a pot of coffee to tell him. He was also the guy I had my first sex with as a gay man. He was the first to tell me that I was too hard on myself. That if the job demanded 100%, I had to give 110%. He told me to enjoy life more. He told me to do things for myself, and not worry what people around me thought. He was pleased when I told him I was learning that as I slowly am coming out.
He was my best friend. He and I had a falling out about 2 years ago when I took an interest in his ex. We didn't speak for about a year. Last year I started to build bridges. We wrote letters again. He never owned a computer. We started phoning again on a weekly basis. The last time I spoke with him was this past Sunday when he noted I sounded a little down. I spoke about my impending breakup. He assured me it would get better.
I am so glad I called. God I'm going to miss him.
Scott
Cycling is the one sport where a guy can shave his legs, wear spandex and bright colors, and be accepted.
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johnleeb
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Toe is in the water |
Location: USA
Registered: January 2009
Messages: 44
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That would make a great story!
It is alway difficult when a loved one dies. His spirit will always be available to you, and you will re-runite when it is your time.
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Scott, I can't imagine how painful it is for you to lose such a mentor and friend so suddenly. I would hug you if I could. -- Brit
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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I'm sorry, Scott. You've already got too much on your mind. Look for your friends passions and values as you walk through this life. You're gonna find them. We don't live this life alone. Your friend was not just one person. He was part of this world that binds us one to another. The effect of his life reaches out like the ripples in a still pool into which a rock had been dropped. The effect of a life lives on, forming and shaping the future.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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ray2x
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: April 2009
Messages: 430
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So sorry Scott. He sounded like such a great person. Do let him live in your memory.
Raymundo
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I am very sorry to hear it, Scott. He sounds a great guy. I don't know of a single one of the guys I had sex with that is still alive. I've tried to get in touch with most of them but have either been unsuccessful or have found out that they are dead.
But they are worth remembering and I do remember and hope you will get some consolation from remembering too.
Love,
Anthony
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Cameron
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 2008
Messages: 70
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I am so sorry, Scott. I hope that time will ease the pain of your loss and preserve forever your memories of a beautiful friendship.
Cameron
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