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In another thread Anthony mentioned that he does not like being in crowds. I think that my response might be a hijacking of a thread, so I am starting a new one.
Like you, Anthony, I do not like being in crowds. But, I don't think that my reason is the same as yours: the behaviour of people in crowds - although I do generally, like you, abhor it. I think that I am a very shy and introverted person; it is very difficult for me to be outgoing with other people, especially those that I don't know. I think that if I were ever sentenced to solitary confinement I would be very content - provided I had my books, my music and my computer! My profession is (well, actually now, was) one which requires me to exhibit bonhomie and general outgoingness, especially in large groups and/or with people I have never met before. I have done this successfully, I think. But I have always felt that my behaviour in such situations was that of an actor on a stage playing to his audience. It was never the real me. On the other hand, I really do love the companionship of good friends that I know well, especially in small and intimate groups.
Am I unique in this matter among the posters in this forum?
J F R
The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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I have always hated the "Hail, fellow, well met!" pseudo bonhomie of business-social environments. Apparently this is called "networking" and is "how business is done" which obviously explains a lot about the credit crunch!
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I would hate solitary confinement, I think. And it's not just crowd behaviour that makes me shun crowds. Like you I like my people one or a few at a time. Even with say eight people it is hard, sometimes to have a conversation follow a thread.
And whenever one deals with large groups such as at an AGM or school assembly or congregation (not that I would willingly become a member) then one is undoubtedly acting a part, even if one finds that role congenial.
But aren't we all actors for part of each day?
Love,
Anthony
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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Yes. I'm an introvert. I didn't have a chance really. Early on I know I was gay and, by instinct, I knew that I had to keep that secret. So I have spent my life hiding the real me, and that is what makes one an introvert. You don't feel the joy of company when you are busy being something that is not gay, rather than being fascinated by the other person. You don't enjoy people while they are communing with a facade that you have built, while the real you crouches inside the facade. On occasions I have communicated one on one with another person, but in the company of 2 or more, I am always hiding.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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acam wrote:
And whenever one deals with large groups such as at an AGM or school assembly or congregation (not that I would willingly become a member) then one is undoubtedly acting a part, even if one finds that role congenial. But aren't we all actors for part of each day?
Yes, one is acting a part - though, in retrospect, I don't think I have ever found the role congenial. Yes, I suppose that we're all actors for some part of the day, but I don't like it when I do it and I don't like myself for doing it.
J F R
The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
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Very well put, Macky. And this applies to me as well. Although I have largely come out of the closet, old ways of thinking are hard to shed.
I am a very good public speaker and have a knack for putting people (clients especially) at ease. But like you, the bon homme isn't genuine. I may as well be on stage.
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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I too am at the introverted end of the scale and enjoy my own company. I join in activities to counteract that because I think it does me good, but I find it easier to deal with small groups.
When I was teaching, I always felt apart from the class as well as a part of the class That's how I dealt with my introversion.
I can easily tire of the companion who always has to be talking and always has to be doing something, particularly with a lot of people around him.
Hugs
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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