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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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Nutbars and weirdos always make the news.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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That child is going to have difficulties later in life if the parents continue that policy when it is old enough to be completely conscious of its surroundings.
Hug
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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ray2x
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: April 2009
Messages: 430
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I tend to believe that children are more resilient given some incredible circumstances. That child could have certain problems in the social spheres he or she will encounter due to his or her lack of gender. We still insist on a gender for a child. So he or she will decide on one which best fits. The parents seem utopian minded and are more into their own philosophy. They should practice what they're preaching.
Raymundo
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Well, Raymundo, I had the same idea as you (except that it is 'sex' not 'gender' - the latter is a grammatical term and there is 'neuter' too).
A child brought up in ignorance of society's norms might have difficulties in adjusting, but it is possible that they might find a great feeling of freedom in it too. Some of the people I know who have had odd upbringings (such as Summerhill school or Eton) turn out to have much more self-confidence than typical and could easily overcome such ignorance of norms.
And on the whole, people who don't join in the battle of the sexes seem to me to be nicer than those that do.
Love,
Anthony
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JimB
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Likes it here |
Registered: December 2006
Messages: 349
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Considering tomboy girls and sissy boys, kids have been doing this on their own for centuries. At 2 1/2 gender is certainly not an issue; ten years from now will be an entirely different story.
Raymondo, you say, "The parents should practice what the preach." and I suggest that they are. They are saying that at an early age gender is not significant and that the child should choose to wear and do what they wish without regard to stereotyping.
Anthony, being a parent, at what age do you think it is important to begin teaching a child the differences between the sexes? I'm asking not in an argumentative way or because I disagree with what you have said; just seeking your opinion.
JimB
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acam wrote:
(except that it is 'sex' not 'gender' - the latter is a grammatical term and there is 'neuter' too).
the usual practice in the social sciences is to use "sex" to refer to genetic make-up, and "gender" to refer to social identity role (of which there may be two, three or more depending on the society: a third gender often being translated as "eunuch", for example ... although castration typically is not actually necessary.)
I strongly suspect that the kid will grow up to have a gender identity that broadly conforms with its sex: but it will be fascinating to see how typically that gender identity is expressed.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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ray2x
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: April 2009
Messages: 430
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I remember once reading about a boy and girl being raised to eat a healthy daily diet. I felt this was good until I read that the children were not allowed to eat with their friends because the friends often brought with them those usual meals of bologna sandwiches, McDonald's hamburgers or other meals not deemed correct by the particular parents. As a parent, I am quite aware of the daily life decisions required of me and my wife in order to raise our daughter. But I tend to think that somewhere along the way, my daughter will soon be making independent decisions. I hope to be ready for that day.
So, these parents who will not divulge the gender of their children, are they bad, misguided, forward thinking? Will the parents be ready for the day their children make the gender decisions and prepare their children for society's reactions?
Raymundo
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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My son had a school weirdo acquaintance who was raised never to eat or drink anything with sugar in it. He was a weirdo anyway. Why his parents also inflicted that on him was more than odd.
Years later they sent a christmas newsletter "As expected, Tristan has no friends". He was a university student at the time.
Not only total wankers, but proud of it.
It would never surprise me to learn that there had been a massacre at their house.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Difficult to answer JimB, because I only had girls. I didn't know what to expect because I had no sister and my childhood was curiously missing friends who were girls.
I would like to think I'd treat both sexes the same and not be prejudiced.
In practice society influences children from a very early age and I was surprised to find my daughters favouring pink and primping in front of the mirror by the age of four!
And, because one daughter needed to be sat in a row and told to listen, we chose a slightly old-fashioned school for them and it was an all-girls school and had recently been a grammar school and they did quite well there. I think the daughter who became a physicist might not have done in a mixed school where stereotypes deter girls from hard science and boys from cooking or making clothes.
And we were teaching our children whatever they wanted to know about sex from before they went to school. And in plain terms with little euphemism. And, as a consequence we had to tell them not to use some of the words when they went to school. Their nursery school teacher told us that she could tell we were 'interesting' parents from the language our children used!
Does that tell you what you wanted?
Love,
Anthony
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That is very sad, Timmy. I want to make friends with Tristan and bring him into society.
Love,
Anthony
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