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Japa
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Getting started |
Location: UK
Registered: November 2009
Messages: 4
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Hi, Im not sure what to do. I have been trying to find that spot for what seems like ages now so I guess I'm doing it wrong...AGAIN! Every time I'm totally clean, nice and relaxed, very lubricated and feeling pretty good actually. I bought a flexible vibrator some time ago, it's about 6 - 7" long and has 4 bulbous sections which is nice actually as you can go as far as you want and keep it there. Everyone seems to say that you can reach your prostate with your finger so I slid my vibrator in to about the length of my middle finger.......nothing. Wiggled around a bit for a while and got some strange (nice) sensations but that was it. After carrying on like this for quite some time and getting very frustrated, reduced me to tears to be honest, I slid the vibrator in all the way. The sensation was amazing (after a while) it felt like my whole middle section was ready to overflow or explode or I don't know but it was lovely for only a short time and then went away. That was so, so frustrating.
Am I just really unlucky, is it just pot luck, why is it so far inside me, am I using the wrong vibrator?
Sorry it's a long story, I guess it's because I cant talk to anyone about this and never have. Could guilt be holding me back?
Thanks
Japa
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I would suggest that you might find the most pleasure while using it at the same time you are masturbating.
At least that was when I found I got the most pleasure from anal penetration
People will tell you where they've gone
They'll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Other's just come to harm
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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The prostate is in subtly different locations for different people. Have a look at this diagram:
This finger reaches it.
When I was 15 so did mine. Now I am a tubby 57 it doesn't.
It takes a little pleasant practice to find it reliably, and it should never be prodded too hard - it's a delicate structure - but you will soon be able to find it reliably.
It's far more fun with a partner than a vibrator, and slim vibrators tend to be better at finding the right spot than fat ones, well for me at least.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Japa, why don't you google 'prostate stimulation'? I'd be surprised if you couldn't find something that enables you to get what you want among all that help.
Love,
Anthony
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Japa
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Getting started |
Location: UK
Registered: November 2009
Messages: 4
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Hey, thanks for your advice. I was trying to keep my hands off myself really as if I go anywhere near my penis I'm over in seconds. Don't get me wrong it's nice but I just feel like I've failed somehow and that there is something much bigger waiting to happen. Maybe I'm hoping for too much.
Thanks again.
J
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Japa
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Getting started |
Location: UK
Registered: November 2009
Messages: 4
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Thanks for your advice, I don't think I've found it really certainly not with my finger at least. I guess I'll go slow and carry on searching! I think a partner would be great but I don't know where to look!
Thanks again
J
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Japa
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Getting started |
Location: UK
Registered: November 2009
Messages: 4
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Thanks Anthony, I've looked at lots of toys to do with prostate stimulation and I settled on this little gadget I have now. I could end up spending a fortune on pot luck with what's out there. Pretty good fun finding out which ones are the least disappointing though!
Thanks again
J
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Taking it slow is a good idea. As I grew old I became less flexible. To find it with your own finger you need to be fairly flexible, so toys are useful.
Finding a partner depends on many things, the most important of which is whether you are comfortable in your own skin, what your current relationship, if any, is, and where in the world you are.
Speciliased dating sites work, though you have to be circumspect over realising that people are not always as they represent themselves.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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A fortune is right, Japa, and disappointment is common too so unless you are rich it would be much better to find a partner, even if you don't find love.
And, for my money, the best way to look is to find a social group. In Bristol we have gaywest and I guess there would be something near you. It's no good to be a hurry, though. It will take some time to get used to the sort of group it is and who are the wolves and who are trustworthy.
Maybe there is a weekly coffee morning or something like that where you can get to know the people in an unthreatening atmosphere.
BTW I've never been to a gaywest meeting, so I can't give a personal recommendation.
Love,
Anthony
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