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Often - too often? - we read in this forum about stupid Americans. This should even up the score a little. Enjoy! I really LOVED Kor Blimey.
Brains of Britain
Some wonderful moments from British TV/Radio quiz shows ...
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Jeremy Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.
BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
Jamie Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester.
BBC NORFOLK
Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: 1 don't know.
Stewart White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant: Arm.
Stewart White: Correct And if you're not weak, you're ... ?
Contestant: Strong.
Stewart White: Correct. And what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
Contestant: Louis.
Stewart White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: Frank Sinatra?
LATE SHOW (BBC MIDlANDS)
Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy?
Contestant: France.
Alex Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
Alex Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant: Sorry, 1 don't know.
Alex Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
Contestant: Paris.
THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2
Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what? - prison, or the Conservative Party
Contestant: The Conservative Party.
BEACON RADIO (WOLVERHAMPTON)
DJ Mark: For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Contestant: 1 think 1 know that one. Is it Jewish?
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoyne: What was Gandhi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey?
GWR FM (BRISTOL)
Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant: I don't know. 1 wasn't watching it then.
PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER
Phil What's 11 squared?
Contestant: I don't know.
Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.
Contestant: Is it five?
RICHARD AND JUDY
Richard: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
Contestant: Forrest Gump.
RICHARD AND JUDY
Richard: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Contestant: ..... Er
Richard: ... He makes bread
Contestant: ..... Er
Richard: ... He makes cakes
Conrtestant: Kipling Street?
LINCS FM PHONE-IN
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: 1 was really after the name of a country .
Contestant: I'm sorry, 1 don't know the names of any countries in Spain.
NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Question: What is the world's largest continent?
Contestant: The Pacific.
ROCK FM ( PRESTON )
Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.
Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre: What was signed to bring World War 1 to an end in 1918?
Contestant: Magna Carta?
JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
James O'Brian: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER. ER ... Three?
CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL)
Chris Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Chris Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that I can let you try again.
Caller: Er ..... Mexico?
PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE)
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant: (After a long pause) Fourteen days.
ARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Daryl Denham: (Helpfully) It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No.
PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Phil Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er .
Phil Wood: It's got two syllables ... Kor ..
Contestant: Blimey?
Phil Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run ....
(Silence)
Phil Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I ...
Contestant: Walked?
THE VAULT
Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant: Nostalgia.
LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
Contestant: Jewish.
Presenter: That's close enough.
STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?
Contestant: Jesus.
J F R
The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
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