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I actually like this one. I had the first two lines in my head while in my room, and it went on from there. I hope you like it.
~Josh~
~~~
Poetry
My life is a video
Made of dripping wax and crimson candles
Sitting on a plane of loud stereos
I greet the sunrise with my eyes closed
Too much noise, gripping flows
That turn like the sun in a bowl of cheerios
Truth lies blindly within
A world, where there's no such thing as sin
Breaking apart, I am not long for this world
Disappearing on the scarlet letters from your pen.
~End~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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Hi, Josh, cheerios are sweets in the USA aren't they? [candy]
My daughter has just bought a horse called Candy to join Sugar and Popcorn in the stable!
'A world where there's no such thing as sin' sounds scary. The only way to achieve that as far as I can see is to have no people in it.
Thank you for the poem.
Love,
Anthony
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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OK Josh,
It's been quite a while since I've enjoyed the fun of interpreting your poems.
Real poetry is written so that the widest possible audience can enjoy it by everyone interpreting it in their own way.
So, although you might not have specifically meant this, this is what your poem says to me.
The poems simply says that there is too much light and sound in the world, and sometimes it's just nice to close your eyes and leave all the world's annoyances behind. Sometimes it's just delightful to be alone and enjoy oneself.
That is a suscinct,lovely thought. By god, it's a real poem!
Max
My life is a video
Made of dripping wax and crimson candles
Sitting on a plane of loud stereos
I greet the sunrise with my eyes closed
Too much noise, gripping flows
That turn like the sun in a bowl of cheerios
Truth lies blindly within
A world, where there's no such thing as sin
Breaking apart, I am not long for this world
Disappearing on the scarlet letters from your pen.
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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johnleeb
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Toe is in the water |
Location: USA
Registered: January 2009
Messages: 44
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Sure, people do sin, but sin is religious context, and if religion did not exist, sin would not even be a word.
Yes, people did create religion so having no people would be no sin. And even if there were no concept of sin,
many people would treat others with respect and kindness and not the harm that sin represents.
And a world without sin does not sound scary at all. It sounds like paradise.
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