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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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Usually these things solve themselves, but this one seems to run and run. I see three folk who seem not to get on and one whose posts are now very much less frequent. That spoils it for more than the four who seem to be having differences with each other.
It's time for a bit of grown-upness to take over.
Short of locking the guys in a room with no weapons and no food or drink, a tempting idea, the solution is in all your hands. Each of you uses a chat program sometimes or certainly has email. Please use it and solve the issue, or do it in public if that is what you feel you need to do. Either private or public is fine by me provided you take personal responsibility for your part of it, large or small. I don't expect us all to like each other. Why should we? But I do expect us to be adults and not wear our differences on our sleeves.
Do I care who started it?
Not at all.
I care about it ending and both light hearted and substantial posts to continue with equal measure.
Do I need to list the names?
Not at all.
I just need you to solve it, and to do that without pointing fingers. Think: "What can I do myself in order to make this better?" and put that into action.
[Updated on: Thu, 04 February 2010 10:51]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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I have had one person speak to me to see what can be done, and a bystander ask what prompted it. I see no other attempts at cessation.
Of course I may not be party to those.
I do know that someone is sending carefully (or so they think) anonymised hate mail to another board poster. My advice to the recipient is to post the hate mail. I don't care who is doing it, but they need to know that their anonymiser is not bulletproof even though they think it is.
They need to grow a pair and sign their work, or stop.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I've no idea whether or not I'm the person "whose posts are now very much less frequent. referred to, but it's certainly true I've not posted much recently.
Nothing to do with any goings-on here (have I missed something?), and I'm certainly not holding any hostility to anyone. But I'm going through a very over-committed spell (working additional hours, drama group, teaching classes in stage lighting, etc - plus my normal political/gay activities) and I simply have no time and no thought and no emotional resources: today is typical in that I left home at 0730, got back at 2215, and then had to cook, empty the cat-litter tray and suchlike.
It is perhaps also true to say that the more activist stuff is catered for in my life elsewhere - for me, the value of this site is mainly in the personal reflections of the participants, so it may also have moved slightly lower down my list of sites to try to keep up with. But that's an observation, not being miffed.
As I said, I've no idea if timmy was referring to me or not, but everyone is owed an explanation for my relative absence anyway, and this seemed as good a place to do it as any!
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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In another thread Max suggests that I close the site down because we have an anonymous cowardly bully.
I can think of many reasons for closing the site, but that is not one of them.
The only solution is to give the bullying the publicity it requires. A school does not close because a kid in the schoolyard bullies others. Nor will this site.
Some of us can take anonymous emails, some can't. It's the same as some folk being unable to delete chain emails and others doing it on a daily basis with no qualms. Me, I delete them every time. And anonymous emails are a thing I can handle with ease. Try me!
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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You know me well enough to know that I am not going to confirm or deny this about anyone who mentions it here
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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When I first read this post I thought of the scenario when your'e held up by the fuzz and Mr Plod strolls across to your car and laconically asks "You know why I stopped you, sir?", trying to trap you into a cough.
Hugs
Nigel
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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