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Good morning everyone.
Josh here again. Hi. How are you?
So. Here I am. At 12:00 AM. I know I should be in bed. Sleep is good for the body and all that. Is it such a big deal that I still don't know what my sexuality is? I say I love everyone. Which I do. Doesn't matter if their male or female or anything else. I'd like to think that I'm a guy who'se easy to get along with. I hate classifying myself as gay though cause I know people are gonna take that however they will. I find guys and girls attractive. Even so, I don't say I'm bisexual. Cause I don't think I am. And I already know I'm making a big deal out of this, cause my brain's always over-thinking things.
I like Christian music and have a few favourite Christian artists that I listen to. Still don't know if I believe in God, but I like the songs so that works for me. I'm still introverted greatly, and I'm thinking this as I type it.
Occasionally I'll look at a random person and think so and so's good looking but then block it out, cause i'm wanting and not wanting a relationship. I like jacking off. That's personal, but a fact. At the same time I hate it. Just as a side note, I hate myself more then anyone else. I have major self-confidence issues and don't like the way I look. Though I don't think that matters.
I tell people so and so is beautiful, and I believe that to be true. I like encouraging people, helping them see the good things in life. And yes I am too hard on myself, because I have to be.
Anyway.. Reply if you want to. This may just be my venting post. I posted this here cause I like the site and the people are nice. I don't judge people and I like making friends. And I love my friends. Whether romantic or platonic.
Take care.
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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That was a great post Josh. I enjoyed hearing about you.
Sexuality - you don't need a label. You are just Josh.
Relationship with someone - I had difficulties with this too. In the end, someone liked me and I just responded to to that...and it worked out great. So maybe all you'll have to do is recognize when somebody takes a liking to you. You've got to figure out how they show it.
Belief in God - I am similar. I want to believe. But I can't say that I do believe. I've begun to think that maybe that's the way it is supposed to be with God.
When I saw a good looking person, I was always afraid to talk to them because I figured that they were too good looking for me. I felt like it would have been presumptuous of me to try to open up a friendship with them. That was probably wrong. But I'm still like that. It's a lack of self confidence
A lot of people have self confidence and self worth issues. I never figured out how to deal with these. But my partner has made me better in the way I feel about myself.
I think we are kind of invalids sometimes in improving our self image. I think we need the help of other people for this. Relatives co-workers friends....whoever. THey need to tell us that we are smart or good looking or fun to talk to. That improves our self confidence. Even people on a message board can help us improve our self-confidence. So try to listen closely to good things people might be saying about you.
For instance. I love the candid honesty that you expressed in this post of yours. It is not easy for anyone to talk so openly about himself. You did a great job of it. And I think you will get some positive feedback even from this post of yours, that will make your self image bump up a notch.
Too hard on yourself? Sometimes we feel that things have to be just so and can't be otherwise and we hold ourselves to a strict schedule or something similar. It is difficult to ease up on ourselves. For me, I have found it easier as I grow older.
In college, I used to require myself to study for 3 hours each evening. It was not so much that I needed to study that much. It was just that I got an idea in my head that that was how much I should study. It was difficult to change that.
Vent here anytime Josh. It is great to hear what a nice person you are.
Max
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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