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Last night I was jerking off like usual looking at pics of dudes and I started to think about my friend Aaron. Mostly when I think about other guys in scholls its like would I jerk off with them or would they do it with me. But last night I thought what if jerking off went big time and we had real sex? I was like all worried that I would really do things to another guy like trade blow jobs and do rimming and even fucking. So then I wondered what a real load of come would be like and instead of catching stuff in a kleenex I went off in my palm and put the whole load in my mouth. I had tasted my own stuff before I mean every guy does this right? But not a whole load. It was kind of like eating an oyster. I had to force myself to swallow. I dont know if Im ready for that or not. So is big time sex something a gay guy matures into or what? Then I thought more about Aaron and its like WTF Id let him do anything he wanted! LOL  )
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Semen is an acquired taste. I've only tasted my own and I find it not likeable at all. It's bitter and sort of half disgusting. The stories you read where it's sweet and wonderful and a delicacy, they are all fantasy. And yet I know in the heat of passion, I'd do anything, pretty much, for the guy I adored.
I think it's that adoration that makes the impossible possible. But what do I actually know?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Don't rush things, Cabinboy. There is no need to do anything more than hug even if you find someone you love and he loves you back.
Videos on the net show gay guys fucking as soon as they reach puberty. I don't think it need be like that and it certainly wasn't like that fifty years ago. Not everyone likes or likes to give blow jobs. Anal intercourse is really quite rare in my experience.
What I did was to please my partner and have my partner please me and when that worked (and it did and was delightful) who wanted more? I encountered people who told me about friends who had four-poster beds fitted up with restraints and slings and so on. I thought it gross and maybe I still do. I certainly avoided getting too close to people who might take me into that and I also avoided anything that might lead to my losing self-control - drugs and too much alcohol, for example.
Why do anything that freaks you out? Why eat cum if you don't like it?
And the more gentle sexual activities are easier to keep safe. Having sex with someone new may be equivalent to having sex with all their recent partners. In the UK there is a civil engineering contractor called William Old whose by-line is "To be Old be safe". It's a good motto. But it does mean you have to stay sober and not get high.
Your mind is too precious to take risks with: don't mess with its ability to stay sane.
Love,
Anthony
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I've given this some more thought.
Boys seem to imagine heterosexual sex as being an all out vaginal penetration fuck. Blow jobs aren't on the agenda. Cunnilingus is, well, ewwwww! No-one likes the taste of fish that much. It's penis in vagina. Masturbation isn't even thought of.
Homosexual imaginings are more difficult. We gay boys have to start by working out who will do what. We have the taboo about the anus to work through. We know how masturbation works and we can do that for any other boy. We've heard of blow jobs, probably, and can't really see ourselves sucking on one of those until it spurts! Gay sex is unsatisfactory when analysed.
I know I wanted to make him feel good. Well, if I ever got brave enough to talk to him! I wanted to do for him whatever he wanted so that he had a great time. I put my needs, whatever they were, second to his needs.
In the early stages of infatuation this was almost more social than sexual. Cuddling came high on my fantasy list, so did kissing. Watching him masturbate while holding him was a good fantasy. I could only imagine touching him, but I wanted to touch any part he wanted touched.
I didn't want to touch nor see his anus. That part of him didn't feature in my fantasies. I didn't want to taste his semen, nor have him taste mine. Rimming, unless scrupulously clean, is ewwwwwwww today, too. All in my head, you understand, but still Eeeeeewwwwwwwwww! I didn't want mine licked and I sure didn't want to lick his.
Advanced masturbation meant I found my prostate. It took a bit of finding! And it gave me a great orgasm. And that switched me on to the wish that he would penetrate me. But hygiene was and is very high on the agenda. I am not into smelling or tasting poop. I'm not that keen on the idea of finding a gobbet of it on my dick or on his dick, or on anyone's fingers. But I still wanted to have him inside me.
Only I couldn't imagine it either!
I was never interested in penetrating him. It was never a fantasy. And yet, even at 13 I was ready, as far as I was concerned, for whatever full on sex was. And that was whatever he wanted. Of course he never wanted anything, these were my fantasies, but you know what I mean.
Although I found many boys physically attractive, it was only those where I felt an emotional connection where I could fantasise about any form of sex with them. Otherwise it was just their faces as attractive props for masturbation that I enjoyed, even though I knew what most of my schoolfellows looked like naked. Even (even?) the penis had no particular interest for me. I wanted the whole boy, not his body parts. I wanted his mind before I wanted his body anyway.
[Updated on: Wed, 24 March 2010 19:08]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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Thanks for the post Cabinboy. Makes me recall what it was like for me.
Max
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I think it might assist if you went into a little more detail. Not because we'll get off on it, but because anything that enlightens, well, enlightens.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Hopefully, you don't use your socks to dispose of the evidence like my son did. It was rather bloody tiresome having to buy a new package of socks once a month at the Wal-Mart because his socks magically kept disappearing.....
If you are an adolescent and are also at the age you've stated, then most likely your preoccupation with the function of your genitals is pretty much epic. But the thing is, you are wrapped up in the mechanics of the act.
Like I told my now 21 year old son when he was your age, you'll pretty much figure things out on your own as far as physically. The idea that you are going to have difficulty getting your arms around the concept is that 90% of the "sex" is in your head, not your penis and its function.
That's the beauty of it. What 'turns you on' is what your brain translates as a sexual stimulus. So, let's address that issue shall we? A boy will turn you on. You will be attracted to him because of how he may look, or act, but most importantly, how he is as a person.
My advice? get to know him. Your generation can ask leading questions about a person's sexual preferences and it's no biggie. Is this Aaron close enough that you could ask how he sees Gay folk without exposing your own orientation? If so, then that's the path to take.
Quite obviously you can take 'lessons' from the net on, hmm, how to put this? Oh yeah, procedures and techniques. But its your head that counts kiddo. It's about the feelings.
There are a couple of younger ones here at Tim's that I feel are way better suited to answering your questions than us oldsters. it's simply a contemporary thing, and I envy you because you're growing up in a great time to be able to even ask the questions you are asking.
Saben? M? Josh? If you guys read this, give Cabinboy a heads-up, maybe even privately by email.
That's my two cents.
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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Thanks Timmy.
What I was trying to say was that those were the same things I thought and did. About the only thing different was the name of the boy I thought about.
With most things so different nowadays, sometimes it's just nice to hear that some things haven't changed at all, and we can identify perfectly with what Cabinboy tells us.
Maybe Cabinboy likes hearing that it was the same for us too. Sometimes its very comforting to hear that what you do is not strange and weird, but very much like what other folks do.
Max
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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Thank you for the inspiration, Brody. Beautiful photo.
[Updated on: Wed, 24 March 2010 22:55]
Age appears to be best in four things; old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read. (Sir Francis Bacon 1561-1626)
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Ahh Cabin Boy, personal manipulation is all about fantasy. The nice thing is that fantasy doesn't include all the messy details, like taste and smell.
From personal experience taste is all about what they've been eating. The diet of an Asian leaves a bitter taste with a smattering of fish oil. A vegetarian diet isn't much better. Getting past the taste is a matter of experience and desire. The hotter the sex the less you'll care about what it will taste like.
As some have suggested, tasting the various parts of another person is a personal choice. Today all sex must be safe sex. A creative partner can make masturbation an exciting adventure. Put it in your mouth and you are having sex with everyone he's been with....that's why they make flavored condoms, strawberry comes to mind.
All the other sexual possibilities you mentioned should wait until you can vote, move out and have the possibility to know someone down to the smallest detail.
Think of sex as a soccer game. How boring it would be if all the teams did was shoot goals at one another. It takes effort to score, scoring is not the best part of a relationship, sex is simply the end of the game. Don't be in a hurry, it will always be there. 
Age appears to be best in four things; old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read. (Sir Francis Bacon 1561-1626)
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Macky
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Really getting into it |
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
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"Think of sex as a soccer game. How boring it would be if all the teams did was shoot goals at one another. It takes effort to score, scoring is not the best part of a relationship, sex is simply the end of the game"
That's a super analogy, a fantasic thought, and a great truth! But hopefully sex is just the end of a round or inning or half or whatever games are measured in.
Max
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I'm with you in every detail except voting age. When you are ready you are ready and no little piece of date arithmetic os going to get considered.
Staf safe, that's the key.
But masturbation when performed solo is safe.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Thanks for writing and for all the cool advice. I think about sex all the time like most of my friends. There is no mystery to sex at least not if you look at porn and read Nifty Archive stories and stuff like that. I think I got the mechanics of sex understood. Like what goes where. That is really pretty simple. I was not grossed out by my own come because it did not taste bad. There was just a lot of it.
I think about different guys but especially Aaron. It would be cool to jerk off together and then maybe trade some blow jobs but not to go off in each others mouths. Maybe laying on top of each other and coming like that would be cool. Yes I can talk to Aaron about gay stuff. He is laid back and like my other friends is cool with diversity.
Like I said I think about sex but the realities of real sex are a little bit gross. Straight sex or gay sex, thinking about it sitting here is sort of gross but once you get a boner who cares about how messy it is?
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Re: Thinking about stuff while I jerk off. 
