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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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Why would a teenager come here?
And after reading here, why would he post?
What will allow him not to feel perved over and somewhat uncomfy?
[Updated on: Tue, 03 August 2010 16:16]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I guess my answer to this is implicit in my answer to your earlier question.
Firstly, a general feeling of being welcome, that all kinds of people have a place and are valued here, and that there is no threat or risk. That nothing is "off limits", and that no-one is going to push further than feels comfortable. And I do think the posted "nettiquette" is vital for this.
Secondly, a feeling of mutual support and openness, that we are ALL vulnerable in one way or another, that we recognise that and help each other to work out different possible ways of coping and making progress. And that it isn't all problems: that we can have a laugh as well, that we know when to joke and when it's serious.
Thirdly, that despite our vulnerability we are on the whole "normal" decent - and sometimes even successful - people.
And finally, that the considerable diversity here means that there's a good chance that the teenager will find someone who has been through (or is going through) something sufficiently similar that he can gain something from the adult sharing their experiences.
But this is just a very personal take on it - I'd hope that others here have very different views, as I'm widely felt to be idiosyncratic at best and eccentric at worst!
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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JimB
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Likes it here |
Registered: December 2006
Messages: 349
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timmy wrote:
> Why would a teenager come here?
> And after reading here, why would he post?
> What will allow him not to feel perved over and somewhat uncomfy?
I think the only answer to those questions is: other teens.
They don't want to talk about these things with their dads or granddads but with their peer group, or those very close in age to it. Yes, great advice comes from dads and granddads but unless 50% of the participants are teens they won't come back and won't post here.
JimB
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Unfortunately JimB I must agree with you. This forum is buried on a serious looking site. There are no photos of rock stars, sales of clothing or publishing of music links to the hot songs of today.
Gay boys are still that, boys who are surrounded by their youth culture and must react to it, learn about it or seem to be un-cool. There is none of that here.
Age appears to be best in four things; old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read. (Sir Francis Bacon 1561-1626)
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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Actually there is nothing buried about the forum. Every page in it is indexed by the search engines. I don't run stats on it but I suspect that almost every visit by a non regular comes via a search engine
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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JimB
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Likes it here |
Registered: December 2006
Messages: 349
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Timmy, if you want help you must be willing to hear what is said and not jump on individual words. Chris didn't say this site was buried, he said the forum was “buried on a serious looking site”. He then goes on to explain what he means by that, “There are no photos of rock stars, sales of clothing or publishing of music links to the hot songs of today”.
I understood what he said but I'm concerned that you got stuck on the word buried and missed the part about rock stars, clothing and music. And that is the important part of what he said, not the buried part. This reflects what I was saying in the “What needs to be changed” thread about the presentation needing to attract teens. This IS a serious looking site and I gather that Chris, like myself, gets to the forum from the IOMFATS main page.
Once a teen gets to the A Place of Safety page what is there to cause him/her to say, “This is a cool site”? To get the teen to stay, to come back, to participate it is necessary for him/her to say that within 30 seconds of arrival. You are a marketing expert, does that not sound familiar? The very first task to accomplish is to visually “sell” the site. And the buyer is a teen, not a 30-something, not somebody's father or grandfather.
There is value in what Chris said but your reply did not indicate that you recognized that.
JimB
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