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Well, I'm quite happy to tell everyone that it would seem that I overreacted and managed to create a big fuss...
In other words, Lenny is safe and sound. Just a bit shaken by a visit made by the police... 
A BIG Thank You to everyone who helped, and cared!
Setras
That which is dreamed can never be lost, can never be undreamed.
-Master Li in Neil Gaiman's Sandman
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warren c. e. austin
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Likes it here |
Location: Toronto, Ontario, CANADA
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 247
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His behaviour warranted your action.
Don't ever apologize for it.
Now should we, all of us here, at "A Place of Safety" ever feel the need to apologize for acting in a similar manner to such circumstances.
You cared Setras; that says it all.
I do hope that "Lenny" comes to undertand this.
Warren C. E. Austin
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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no you probably did not overreact, just never expected you to react in that manner. got a bit overwhelming that's all.
everything's a mess. total mess, one day i think i'm alright - or as close to as i can be, it's never good you see - and the next it's the pits. i get so confused, i've always been able to keep it down, hidden away. it's getting much too big to handle alone now.
i need to know i matter to people. when i feel i don't, i get scared, i run away. i feel like a very very small octopus who sits hidden in a crevice in a rock. i hide there because there's big scary things swimming around outside, all i can do is stretch out a tentacle at a time to feel around a bit, and whenever a tentacle gets bitten i withdraw a little deeper inside my hidingplace, and i can't feel in that direction again.
i need to find something pleasant to hold on to with a tentacle, or i will get even more scared. i need to get an email every once in a while, or someone asking me if i wanna chat a bit or something. if not, then ideas are going to start popping up in my head that nobody no longer care about me, that you don't like me anymore. doesn't matter if it's true or not, to me it is the truth. i can't tell the difference.
not asking you to spend your life looking after every need of mine. it's ok if you just say hi every once in a while. ...please? i need it. i can't function without it. did you read one of my stories? please tell me you did. you don't have to write a 300-word essay on your impressions of it if you're pressed for time (though it would be immensely appreciated if you did), when i get something hosted and hardly anyone tells me anything i start to think nobody reads it or likes it. i get scared again.
please send me a short email, just to tell me some silly little thing like you going shopping for some milk and you found a buck lying there in the street and you got it for free. or whatever. no, don't send one right now and then forget about me, do it when you feel you have something to tell. doesn't have to be anything important, it's the act itself i care about as much as the message itself.
if you see me log in on the messenger say a quick hello every once in a while. some of you i don't dare to start a chat with because i don't know if you want to talk with me or not. you have to show me it is okay, or else i get scared.
i have no self-esteem. i can't tell these things naturally!
you must show me. okay?
please.
i'm scared!
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warren c. e. austin
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Likes it here |
Location: Toronto, Ontario, CANADA
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 247
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Who is this speaking?
If this is "Lenny", then in respone to your entreaty ...
I do think of you. Often.
Whilst I have never e-Mailed thoughts to you, that's more a fault of mine than any conduct of your own.
Until recent events prompted the dialogue we've undertaken from time-to-time this past week or so, and I might add this was at K.C.'s instigation, not mine, I never felt that I knoew you, or had the right to intrude on your personal space by opening such a dialogue with you.
I know now, and have been doing so, but again, never without your having invited me into your world, even at MSN, my even using that service, and subsequently accounting for my presence there, and being against everything I believe in. It is not in my nature to just up and start talking with someone. I've been lifelong conditioned to await someone's interest, and implicit consent beforehand, never otherwise.
The aforementioned largely explains to you, and to others here at A Place of Safety, why I *post* my comments about their stories (or other issues) on-line rather than through an individual and more personal e-Mail; for me to do so would be my intruding and infringing upon your privacy. With little exception, and I can only think of two recent exceptions to that circumstance, and those involved both know who they are, I cannot, and will not ever do so.
If you see me lurking on-line, tell me; invite me into your world. Otherwise I will not enter.
If this *post* has not been authored by "Lenny" what I have written above may have little impact other than to explain who I am; but will do little to mitigate your feelings of alienation unless you step out into the open, and say who you are.
To do that will require that you send me an e-Mail (my address is widely publicized here and elsewhere, but I repeat if for you here once more: thegaydeceiver@houseofellithorpe.com), or approach me on-line - my handle everywhere, whether MSN, Yahoo!, Excite, AOL/AIM, and otherwise is "thegaydeceiver". I'll not ever ignore your request for dialogue; I have never done so with others, and I'm certainly not about to start with whomever you may be; but I caution once again, unless you approach me, I'll continue to linger in the distance and you'll not ever have that encounter. I will never initiate it.
In one other recent time of crisis I *posted* my home telephone number. My having done so previously was an imperative that the individual needed to know, and understand, I could be reached at whatever the personal cost to my own ingrained need for privacy might entail, AT ANY TIME!
I *post* it once more, stating for all and sundry here, and elsewhere: If you are troubled, and need to talk and unless I'm either on-line, or out walking my dogs, and I'm truly at home, I will answer the telephone. I neither screen my calls nor send them to a call-answering vehicle. If it rings, and I'm capable of answering, I do so.
The number is 011-416-498-6997.
Warren C. E. Austin
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e
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On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
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If this is you, Lenny, you KNOW I care. You are probably the best on-line friend I've ever made. I tell you it's ok if you want to take a while to return my emails out of consideration for YOU. I figured you take a while because you are busy. If you take too long, I usually send another. Very little makes me smile more than to open my account and see that there's something from you waiting for me. You also know that I try and answer all you emails the same day I get them. It's not always possible, but I try.
When I saw Setras' first message about you, I couldn't respond on the board. I didn't know what to say. I did send you an email and you know you'll hear from me again as soon as I get your reply. I don't have any IMs on my computer and haven't used them. But maybe now I'll consider getting one so we can chat if we ever end up online at the same time.
If this is not Lenny, then feel free to send me an email anytime. I like getting them and try to answer as soon as I can.
Anyhow, Lenny, if I could I'd probably hug you so hard right now I'd squeeze you in half.
Think good thoughts,
e
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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It is the easiest thing in the world....
My icq # is64010568
My AIM id is Marcv1972c
ON Yahoo I am Marc_va2000
Feel free to add me to your list and we can chat when ever you see me online.....
Oh, Sorry I forgot, I am Marc, and my better half is Kevy, sometimes he might answer....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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As the guy who created the fuss with you, I see no over reaction.
He made you worry. You and I are his friends, though sometimes he can forget what friends really are (history I suppose). You handles the worry to preserve the life of a friend. That he was not harming himslef is something neither of us could know.
In another place, on another board, the sherrif's men broke down the door of someone who sometimes posts here and is very dear to me. They saved his life. Orchestrated from a thousand or more miles away in several directions.
No cry for help is too small.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Darren
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Likes it here |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 190
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I think what you did was great. When I heard about Lenny, I was extremely saddened. I felt very helpless not knowing what to do. You took the bull by the hornes and did something. In this case, it may not have been needed, but hindsight is always 20/20.
Lenny, glad your OK. This shows more than anything that people are really there for you. It is easy to think that you are not in anyones thoughts, but that is not the case (at least with me). People just don't always email you to tell you this.
Good luck and I hope that the policemen were at least good looking
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tim...of usa
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Likes it here |
Location: buffalo, new york...USA
Registered: July 2002
Messages: 266
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over reaction?....try this one on for size...underreaction and regrets for years and years after the fact that your best friend and first love is dead in your tree house and you could have or should have listened better.
what was done for lenny was nothing less than noble.
i bow down befor you for doing what a REAL friend would do you listened and did something.
may the world be filled with people like you.
peace
tim...of USA
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the scholar
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Toe is in the water |
Location: England
Registered: August 2002
Messages: 59
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I echo the question - is this Lenny? If so, welcome back. Feel free to communicate with me at any time - you now how late I can be in getting round to writing, but I will do, I promise. I've said it before and I'll say it again - you are so special to so many of us.
If this is not Lenny - write anyway.
scholar@iomfats.org
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mt
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 93
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There’s nothing I would like more than to talk to you
There’s nothing I would like more than to talk to you! I just don’t know you email, so the 1st step is up to you. You can reach me at deep_love_seeker@yahoo.com and I will take it from there.
Luv
MT
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