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Steve
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Really getting into it |
Location: London, England
Registered: November 2006
Messages: 465
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At this time of the year Jewish Kabbalists (mystics) in Israel hold sessions to deal with ...... masturbation!
My newspaper today relates:
A young kabbalistic rabbi has written a treatise on the prevention of masturbation. In this treatise he claims that wankers create devils by their actions. "By masturbating, the seed comes out without reaching its proper place, so from the storehouse of souls a soul comes out and goes nowhere appropriate. Then, through the powers of evil, the spiritual body is created of a demon." The document further details that according to the Talmud the creation of the demon is considered to be murder, because the demon was created instead of the soul which was supposed to be created and born. The kabbalist details a mystical formula "concerning masturbation according to Kabbalah" [Jewish mysticism]. He suggests that every time a person wants to jerk off he should recite two verses from the book of psalms [42:1-2]...
I kid you not: this must be the silly season for newspapers in Israel! (Anything to get away from politics!)
Now, I suggest that we on this MB do an experiment. Every time one of us wants to have a good wank he should recite these two verses and then report back to us here - "It worked" or "It didn't work". We can then collate the statistics and send them to this young rabbi for his greater edification.
Who's first?
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13771
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Please vote once per wank. No historic wanks, please, only current ones
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13771
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No Message Body
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Steve
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Really getting into it |
Location: London, England
Registered: November 2006
Messages: 465
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"It did not work" would mean "Despite the recitation of these verses I had a good time anyway - me and my fantasies - and I enjoyed a good jerk-off."
This reminds me of Chairman Mao's recipe for birth control in China: a glass of water - not before, not after, but instead of. LOL
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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If I jerk off with a condom on will I fill up a bag full of demons?
Oh my..... Where will I dump it? Oh my..... If I flush it the demon might reach up and pinch me or something.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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e
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On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
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If after death, I am doomed to be haunted by all the demons I've created by virtue of self gratification, the afterlife will most certainly be one Hell of a time.
In fact, a new demon stalks the underworld this very night, even after I perused the aforementioned verses.
Think good thoughts,
e
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The mystical jerk-off 
Lodge your answers here 
By the way, that means did the VERSES work! (I think!) 