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Well, I am back in Hong Kong after the best 2 weeks of my entire 2002...the only thing keeping me from being immobilized with depression is the fact that I can return to Thailand and my Man on January 30 for another 10 days. Still using my annual leave time from last year! Yay!
And in honour of trying to smile, here's something from US television, ghosts of years past division...Geezers will remember, youngers will like them anyhow, I'm sure. Note: Paul Lynde was the most campy TV star of those long forgotten years, aside from Liberace himself.
Hollywood Squares was a terrific game show on American TV. Actual questions and answers from the vaults!
> >Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at
> >least how high?
> >A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
> >
> >Q: True or false...a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
> >A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes...
> >
> > Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a
> > man or a woman?
> > A: Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
> >
> >Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you
> > think he's really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and
ask
> > him if he's married?
> > A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
> >
> > Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
> > A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
> >
> > Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I love
> > you"?
> > A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a
twenty.
> >
> > Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with
> > your hands while you are talking?
> > A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing older question,
> > Peter...and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget!
> >
> > Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
> > A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
> >
> > Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you
> > going to get any during your first year?
> > A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I'm too busy growing
> > strawberries!
> >
> > Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score?
> > A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
> >
> > Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at
nudist
> >camps. One is politics. What is the other?
> > A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
> >
> > Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
> > A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
> >
> > Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail.
> > What will a goose do?
> > A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark.
> >
> > Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth
to?
> > A: Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the
dark.
> >
> > Q: According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting
> > into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
> > A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!
> >
> > Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body - what
is it?
> > A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't
neglected!
> >
> > Q: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150
pounds?
> > A: Charley Weaver: A divorcee.
> >
> > Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on
his
> > head, what was he trying to do?
> > A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
> >
> > Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or
> > your elephant?
> > A: Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
> >
> > Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for it's sex?
> > A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.
> >
> > Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in
> > them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What
are
they?
> > A: Charley Weaver: His feet.
> >
> > Q: Do female frogs croak?
> > A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long
enough.
> >
> > Q: Imagine you are a child in your mother's womb, can you detect
light?
> > A: Paul Lynde: Only during ballet practice.
"Always forgive your enemies...nothing annoys them quite so much." Oscar Wilde
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