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lately ive been hating utah even more of course its hard for us all but in utah, where the church thinks a long talk with the bishop and determination can cure us...i feel like im all by my self i try to stay optamistic i keep telling my self " dont worry youl find some one youl be ok," but i cant keep it up, i keep thinking il just tell every one my secret, but then i find out my friend thins its horrible to be gay so i just shut up but lately its been hard to stop from yelling " just shut the @@@@ up "
What A Wonderful catariciture of intamacy,
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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I grew up Mormon, but not in Utah. I have holidayed in Utah, though, so I know how badly ingrained into society the Church is. It's hard. The Church does good things, but in this area they are so wrong and misguided.
I prayed and asked Christ for my own answer. But my answer disagreed with the Church, so my Bishop told me it was wrong. Well guess what- Joseph Smith's answer disagreed with his Church.... Sometimes you've just gotta follow your heart.
Living in Utah, gay and out? I could never do that. I'd end up violent or hurting someone. And I'm generally a passive person.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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Benji
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: August 2007
Messages: 297
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Hopefully you can find a support group (discreetly of course) in your area. I don't know how old you are, but perhaps you are close enough in age that soon you will be able to leave. (College or Job) I suggest you refrain from shouting it out and bite your tongue. As I know they think that they have "camps" that will cure you.
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You might like the movie Latter Days.
I don't know if this is any consolation, but there are people who are going through the exact same thing as you are despite the fact that it may not seem like it. I am finding out, now that it has been several years since I graduated high school, that there where in fact other gay kids in my class. They just weren't out at the time. I grew up in the bible belt so I know all about religious intollerance although I imagine not to the same extent as you know.
Just know that there is nothing wrong with you and time goes by much faster than you think. You'll be outta there in no time.
On the bright side, if you enjoy nature at all, Utah has some of the most beautiful wildnerness areas so, if you are so inclined, you should enjoy that in the meantime.
I apologize if this post is somewhat disjointed; I just drank a large cup of coffee and haven't had coffee in a while.
david
It's always the old to lead us to the war
It's always the young to fall
Now look at all we've won with the sabre and the gun
Tell me is it worth it all
~Phil Ochs "I Aint Marching Anymore"
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Thanks saben, i actually don't handle it well and met up with the most rebelious girl in the school, she was very shy and trying to be mormon too but when we'd walk throught school and the jerky groups would yell at us we would snap and start fights, although no one new my real secret they all hated us for other stuff and for kids at school it was considered a great thing to get hit this little stressed girl in the face, and would brag about it right infront of me, and david,utah does have a lot of good sights but if you've been here latly you'd be dissapointed theres houses crawling up the entir side of the mountain and construction everywhere, sometimes i wish for that earthquake thats supposedly due, i just can't stand it here
What A Wonderful catariciture of intamacy,
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Yeah Kek, I read you loud and clear. Too bad you don't live in San Francisco or some large urban area with scads of resources for gay youth. But I guess you have to play the cards you're dealt. I was dealt the Utah card and had to live with it until I was old enough to move out of state on my own.
And as for coming out - uh..uh, bud, I wouldn't do it - not there! If you think your school and social life is bad now, wait until you're branded with the big "Q" letter. You are not in the safest area to be coming out. But that doesn't mean you can't look around while you are in the closet and look for other guys that might be in there with you. Try these resources that I'll list below. I don't know how close you live to Salt Lake, (and I don't think you should give your location over the net), but there are some resources there for you to contact.
This might be your best bet. This is the National Gay Youth Help Center. They provide an 800 phone number so you can call and get information as to whether there are clubs, or organizations for gay youth anywhere near you. http://glbtnationalhelpcenter.org/index2.html
Here is the site for the Gay and Lesbian Center in Salt Lake. Check out their resources:
http://gaylife.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ&sdn=gaylife&cdn=people&tm=22&f=00&tt=2&bt=1&bts=1&zu=http%3A//www.glccu.com/
Something to keep in mind, you aren't the only gay person in Utah. Check out this news article on the number of gays in Salt Lake. http://kutv.com/topstories/local_story_161181301.html
And finally, for continuous updates on gay related news in Utah, keep checking this site:
http://www.einnews.com/utah/newsfeed-utah-gay-lesbian-homosexual
If you are in a rather rural area, you are probably outa luck for any nearby groups you can join or attend. You'll just have to learn to develop your gaydar and search on your own. But buck up - you won't be stuck there forever - even though it may seem like it. There will come a day when you can wave goodbye to the Mormon state and relocate - or at least move to Salt Lake where you'll have plenty of company. In the meantime, you have friends on the web.
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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Benji
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: August 2007
Messages: 297
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Way to go Paul!! I'm very glad you had those resources at hand (somewhere in here is a smiley face with a two handed bow, oh wait! that's in GA forum)
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;-D :-*
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?
I just want to know your family situation so I can understand better.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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as for age, we'l just say im in high school but cant drive, thanks for all the other advice but i cant go to any groups maby i would if i could and thanks i wont come out, i got some stres management to take care of
What A Wonderful catariciture of intamacy,
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Oh that is a shame about the houses. I shall have to visit Utah before it is over developed.
It's always the old to lead us to the war
It's always the young to fall
Now look at all we've won with the sabre and the gun
Tell me is it worth it all
~Phil Ochs "I Aint Marching Anymore"
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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Okay, that gives me a good idea. You're stuck in that hard age where you parents don't give you any of the freedom. Still a long way away from being an "adult", yet close enough to an adult to know a lot about your own mind. Stay strong, and stay in the closet. It seems like the world takes forever to move around the sun, but it won't be long before you are free.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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