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Hey all.
I just thought I'd let you all know where I stand with things, as far as sexuality (possibly and not, mine) is at. Currently, I 'classify' myself as a bisexual, since I like guys and girls. I'll admit that I've had fantasy's about both sexes, and I find both pleasurable in a way. In my view, I think of sex as a sacred thing, and I don't think sex should be given to everyone by anyone. I think that if you love someone truly in your heart, and you know that they are the 'right one,' then you should go ahead and enjoy the magic moment that the two of you have together.
I am against rape and sex crimes in every way possible known to man. The fact that we live in a world where rape and molestation occurs, to me, is sickening, as I've said before. It's something I feel strongly for.
Children should not be forced to have sex with over people. Nor should teenagers be trying to get pregnant at ages 13/14/15/16/17/18. That is just my view on things. Young teens (13-15 in my view) have no idea the kind of responsibility and dedication being a father/mother entails. And sadly, it's a reality that young girls/guys put themselves through because of their desire to have sex. I am 19, almost 20 years old. I have never had sex. And I do crave it, a lot, but I do not try to get in everyone's pants for a little 'action.' I suppose in that sense, I'm mature.
The thing that gets me, is why young kids want to have sex in the first place. Personally, I don't care if it is consensual between both parties. If you're 13-16 at LEAST! you should not be having sex. That's my view on the matter.
I think that's it for now for my rant. And I wasn't mad when I wrote this, just wanted to 'speak' about it.
Much love
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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Dear Josh,
I'll be surprised if many people here would disagree with you, except maybe about what age it is OK to begin having sex. I didn't till during my 20th year, but I was a late developer. I think children nowadays mature earlier, so I wouldn't lay down the law about it - but I do agree that for young teenagers' to have sex because they want to have sex (rather than because they've found someone they love deeply) doesn't make sense and is not to be recommended.
If I had a teenage son and he had friends to sleepover and I thought something might be going on I wouldn't stop it. And when I did have teenage daughters, once they reached the age of sixteen, we allowed them to have their boyfriends home to sleep with them in the same bed and we provided condoms. The condition was that they didn't get pregnant. And the age of sixteen was not something arbitrary but legal: in the UK children who have sex before sixteen are at risk of being taken from their parents by social services (at least they were when all this happened 25 years ago).
I do agree with you that such young people should not bring children into the world. Children are a huge responsibility and I would say most people would be unable to bear it before they are (say) 21. Certainly not while they are still in school or college. I left university in 1958 when I was 23 and if I had been responsible for a child then it would probably have prevented me from having even a moderate success in life.
Love,
Anthony
And it wasn't a rant: it was just an expression of a valid point of view.
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Hey Anthony-kun 
Thanks for replying. I can honestly say that I don't know if there is an age that is appropriate to have sex. I would like to think that those who have sex are mature and responsible enough to know what they are doing and accept the possibility of being forced into parenthood. Of course if you don't use a condom while having sex, the possible of your partner (if it is a girl) becoming pregnant may be doubled or tripled, so using a condom is both common sense and responsible.
I'm not sure if you watch the Maury Show. I do sometimes when it's a show I like. And I've seen kids as young as 10! (I kid you not!) having sex. To me, that's both sick and wrong and scary. Regardless of whether you're being the one giving the sex, or the one receiving it, both parties should act in a responsible manner.
I'm not saying we should all be abstinent (if we all were, we wouldn't be here.) All I'm saying is that you should be responsible for the choices you make and accept them head on.
I've also seen on the Maury show, paternity test results. And I've seen women come on the show and break down because the one they have had sex with says either it didn't happen, it was a one time thing, or the child doesn't look like him, for whatever reason. That to me is very sad. I think they just don't want the responsibility of being a father (referring to the men here.) I've also seen men break down because the one he loves is cheating on him with another man (referring to a man/woman relationship in this instance.) That is also very sad, but it's also the reality.
I think the point I'm trying to make here, is that if you are going to have sex, be responsible, and if it turns out your the father, then step up and be a man and take care of your responsibilities.
Thanks again for commenting. *hugs*
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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I disagree with a lot of what you've said. It seems to be based on "gut instinct" rather than rational analysis. I try and make my decisions in life based on rationality so that is where the disagreement lies.
I am against rape, but I also think it is strange that sexual assault is held as a greater evil than "just" violence. I don't understand why sex makes a violent act "more evil". I don't understand why having sexual thoughts about someone attractive is considered to be taboo a lot of the time. I am all for consensual sex, but I'm also for freedom in other actions- sex just seems so overhyped.
I disagree on the age thing. Especially in regards to same-sex "playing". What harm is there in teenagers engaging in sexual activity when there is no risk of pregnancy? I think that experience leads to healthier attitudes towards sex- sheltering teenagers from sex is, in my opinion, what leads to unhealthy sexual obsessions.
I'm in a relationship with someone I'll probably spend the rest of my life with. I don't think my or his prior sexual experience diminishes what we have at all. There's no reason for viewing sex as sacred, that's just superstition. I've had magical moments having sex, but I've also had magical moments walking on the beach. That doesn't stop me from walking on the beach with other people so why should I feel bad because I've had sex with others in the past?
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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Hi Saben-kun.
Thank you for your comments. Violence is violence. If someone forces someone to have sex with someone and they don't want to, is that not violent? I have nothing against teenagers engaging in sexual activity. I'm just saying they should be responsible about it.
Being attracted to the same sex, whether physically or sexually, should be any less valid then with someone of the opposite sex. It's a natural part of growing up. Everyone goes through it.
I agree with you that not experiencing any sort of sexual activity can lead to an unhealthy attitude about it. Experimentation is a part of growing up, and there's nothing wrong with that.
I also agree with you that regardless of what's gone on in the past, it should not affect the bond between two people. Perhaps the word 'magic' was a little too far on my part for that particular phrase. My apologies.
I do think though, that people should experiment safely and know what they are doing, and if not, ask an adult.
If I choose not to engage in sexual activity (this is just an example) then that is my choice, and if I decide to sometime down the road (also an example) that is my choice as well. I most certainly agree that not experiencing sex leads to unhealthy attitudes about it.
The same goes with people. If people choose not to accept someone because of their choices and sexuality, then that will cause tension around others. Learning is also a part of growing up.
Thanks for commenting.
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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Josh,
It's important not to feel guilty about your actions. Teenagers (or adults) who sneak around to have sex will (or should) feel guilty about it. Teenagers in a relationship who talk and agree not to have sex will not feel guilty despite sexual bombardment by the media. Teenagers raised in a nurturing environment, like the one Anthony's children experienced, may grow into natural, guilt-free sexual relationships. Parents who demonize sex (and homosexuality, of course) are likely forcing guilt upon their children. An introspective, secure guy like you appear to be, who has thought carefully about sex and relationships, will know when the moment is right and can plunge into it gloriously guilt-free.
You express love not by having sex with someone, but by working to make that person's world a more wonderful place.
Brit
PS: I'm enjoying your poems.
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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Violence is violence. If someone forces someone to have sex with someone and they don't want to, is that not violent?
I agree. That was my point. The only legitimate violence is defensive. Sexual violence, aggressive violence, armed robbery, all violent crimes are despicable.
But why is touching someone's boob against their will (in a joking manner) worse than say punching them in the arm playfully against their will? The former will get you in big trouble, the latter likely not.
Or feeling someone up in their sleep as opposed to drawing in permanent marker on their face while they sleep? The former is indecent assault, the latter not even a crime.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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