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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
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When you're 12 you invite them round to play, or you go there to play, or go for a bike ride. What do you do when you're 15/16? Who plays at 15? Who goes for a bike ride?
[Updated on: Fri, 23 May 2008 08:07]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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We all still ride bikes here, more for training than just play. There are a lot of quiet country roads where we live, and they're great for that. I still invite friends over for a lot of things. Fishing, sailing, swimming, doing homework together, working on our rides together (Eldon's the bomb at auto mechanics) are all things older guys do together. Just inviting them over for general chilling out is fun. Practicing golf swings and shots, or actually playing a round after we finish our summer jobs for the day is great. Twilight golf is my favorite. There's always something to do. Just the other day Dan asked me if we could all help repair the old tree house we built when we were eight. It'll be a blast. By the end of the summer I bet we'll be sleeping out in it, like we were eight again!! Watching games together like NC or Navy football, watching a new DVD or playing the Flight Simulator, it's all good with the two other ones. On clear nights we get out my Father's huge Celestron and find galaxies and count rocks on the Moon. I don't think I've ever been bored with nothing to do.
Debbie and I are back together too. Not "Boyfriend-Girlfriend" but "friends with benefits." We are both free to date other people. Not that I'm gonna be dating any other female of the species. I don't think she will be dating anybody else either. This is her way of starting to put some distance between us for when I leave for college in the fall.
[Updated on: Fri, 23 May 2008 12:33] |
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unsui
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Likes it here |
Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338
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No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 18:19] |
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JimB
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Likes it here |
Registered: December 2006
Messages: 349
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I agree with the points made by both Jon and Michael. I really don't think it is a matter of age. Certainly, what you do, who you do it with, what toys you have all change as you grow older. But the big changes are circumstances related, not age related. For instance, nearly every aspect of life is changed significantly with the arrival of your first child. But even then, one continues to play.
You asked, "Who plays at 15?" As Jon said, he did, and continues to. The same is true for me, I've never stopped playing. In fact some of the ways I play today are the same as when I was 12, like riding my bike. It's true that when I was 16 or 17 you wouldn't catch me dead riding a bike, but that only lasted a few years. My toys have changed, instead of a treehouse I have camping equipment, instead of getting together after school to "hang" and listen to music we get together on Sunday to watch football; but we still play.
Did you mean to give the impression that you stopped playing in your early teens? Or that you don't play today?
JimB
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Dear Timmy,
Do you mean what do they do nowadays? or are you interested in when each of us was fifteen?
I can't remember much about what my social life was like then. I was in the lower sixth form beginning to specialise in History and English and had no friends at all except for other boys at school but not many of them. My parents didn't have a car; the only people I could visit had to be in walking distance or bicycling (but I lived in Hampstead which is very hilly so no further than a few miles). I don't ever remember going on a sleepover or on holiday with another family.
One family entertaining another was less common then than now because of food rationing which didn't end until 1953, and I was nineteen that year.
I had a large meccano set and many other model making kits and my brother and I shared an electric train set (Lionel Lines). I used to make model aeroplanes (powered by CI engines with ether mixed with castor oil as the fuel) and later model boats and fly them on the heath or sail them in the ponds and sometimes I'd meet other boys that did that - but, looking back, it is astonishing how restricted my life was then compared with that of my grandchildren. And in three years I'll be able to tell you what they do with their friends at the age of fifteen! (Well, probably!)
Love,
Anthony
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
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JimB wrote:
> Did you mean to give the impression that you stopped playing in your early teens? Or that you don't play today?
I'm not sure. I'm writing a book at the moment, based entirely on my own teenage years. I had school, a thing that was full on 100% school, or travelling to and from school, or homework. I had school holidays, which seem to have been made up of formal "going away" holidays and of things like swimming baths.
The latter was never with friends, though I sometimes befriended random kids there.
After school was finished play came back, but with tinkering with cars.
[Updated on: Sat, 24 May 2008 07:46]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
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acam wrote:
> Do you mean what do they do nowadays? or are you interested in when each of us was fifteen?
I suppose both 
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Age fifteen was about when my social life started - that was the first year any of my friends had cars (UK driving age of 17), so that living in the depths of the countryside was not a major barrier. Lots of play but all as a group: my memory of the summer of 1970 includes a lot of taking a punt out on the Cherwell, drives to country pubs that had pinball / bar footy / bar skittles / Aunt Sally ... lots of just hanging around - street corners, youth clubs, the odd political demo, and anywhere we wouldn't be disturbed. And a fair bit of alcohol, drugs, sex, running a mobile disco, and helping mates fix their cars (all of which are probably more "recreation" than play).
The things that stick in the memory are the golden afternoons on the river (if we had money), or lazing in the parks (if we didn't). It was the glorious year after O levels, and the next academic hurdle of A levels seemed a million miles away.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Friends? I had very few.... Mostly because of the kind of childhood I had. When little I was sent to my room to entertain myself as my mother was too busy with her own... shall we say... entertainments.
When I was a little older, 11 to 14, school and boy scouts took up all of my time.
After 14... I was on my own... Play time was over...
Well...... childs play at any rate.......
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Oh, yes, NW,
Golden afternoons on the Cherwell - how lucky you were to have them when you were fifteen or sixteen. I discovered them when I was 21 - and Aunt Sally too! And the old Victoria Arms before it got turned into a modern pub.
We introduced it to our children when they were eight or nine. It was possible to take out a punt for a whole day for seven pounds and the Cherwell boathouse opened at ten so at ten past ten we would be off (having driven from St Albans) and stop above the bypass bridge and make bacon sandwiches. We often wouldn't return the punt till eight or nine pm!
Did I ever tell you my English master at school first opened the Wind in the Willows one afternoon in a punt on the Cherwell? Wasn't that a lucky thing!
And, of course, when I couldn't hire a punt I used to lie in the sun and swim at Parson's Pleasure.
Love,
Anthony
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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Play stopped for me at 12 when I changed school (from public to private) and moved house.
I lost all my school-based friends as well as my local friends (many of who went to the same school). I made new school friends, but most of them lived quite a way from me- they caught buses home and couldn't come around after school or they'd not be able to get back home. That and a lot of my friends weren't "good friends"- more just people to hang out with.
So my "play" from 13-15 was solitary. I read books, a lot of books; and played computer games. While my friends had the internet I didn't during that period so I couldn't even keep in touch that way. And I wasn't the type of person to keep in touch by phone. I did get invited to the occasional party and by grade 9 had been to a couple of people's places but grade 7-8 were lonely.
By the end of grade 10 I had made a few more friends, social groups had changed a bit and I got the internet. The internet became something of a social life for me- MSN/ICQ and email were big. More importantly, though, I found new friends online through online forums (like this one).
Grade 11 I changed schools again, but re-met friends from my primary school. I also started catching a bus to school and had my regular seat with my regular bus companions (all of whom lived close to me). I started hanging out with my friends more- some of who had got their licences. I went to people's houses, went places after school. Still did a LOT online, but there was more than just that. Grade 12 I met Jake and dated him so we did a fair bit of "play".
Ryan, it's quite different. He has friends over most weekends, though their parents are strict so not as much after school. Most of his play is and has been computer games with them. But he has his girl friend group, too. They go to movies, go shopping but seldom come over to his house. A lot of play seems to be at shopping centres for teenagers nowadays rather than at home. Though at home play happens too it seems, especially for gamer geeks.
That's my experience, at least.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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Most of my friends were older, like my uncle and grands, but I had Jeff my best bud in all the world. We are like Mutt and Jeff and even more so now that we are lovers. I have a lot to be thankful for, Timmy having this site, meeting good friends here and gainning two brothers in NC, two people I am forever grateful to. Jeff and I always find things to do, I dont know if you would call them all play but we never get bored.
Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you......
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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With a very few exceptions, don't expect too much from online friendships... For the most part, they are shallow and fleeting.
In the long run it doesn't do a lot of good to reach out to people....
No... no.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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The friendship I have with Jon and Eldon is not just fleeting. Even tho we dont talk on a daily basis, we understand that there are things at our age that need our attention so some things get set by the way side. I start to work in about 3 weeks and I know my time on line will be limited, but I will let them know from time to time that they are not forgotten.
Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you......
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Yup...
Until... well....
Who?
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
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I have some very good friends online, many of whom I have chosen to meet in real life. I have others who wish to stay as online friends.
I'm under no illusions that there are some sharks out there, I've been taken in before and I will be again.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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But just because you are aware of the sharks in the tank..... does it hurt any less when you are nipped?
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
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Not at all. But it does not mean that I need not to make new friends in case one might be a shark.
It just means that I stand back until I am pretty sure I know. The jaws still hurt if I get it wrong.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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