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Howdy All,
Hope that you are all keeping well and happy 
I have a quick question pertaining to Short Stories and the Sex Scenes in such said stories.
I am busy writing another short story and was wondering if it is something that you look forward to when reading? If so, what is it that you want to read about when it comes to sex?
I am just curious as to whether it is something that I should include in my stories, or if it really make no difference...
I have included below a short example, let me know what you all think... Creative Criticism and all that jazz 
""
We had been together for 3 weeks then, and it seemed like it may be about time to consummate our relationship. I had never been a very pushy person when it came to matters of sexual intercourse.
I always wanted to wait for my partner (at that specific time) to make those kinds of choices and since it seemed like he was just as willing to wait for me as I was for him, I thought to myself "If not, why not?" and so to speak I jumped in the deep end.
His skin was warm from the water, and his breath was sweet. I needed no invitation to nestle myself in his lap and it was almost like my back had been made to exactly fit to his front. It all seemed so perfect then. He ran his fingers invitingly along my sides, while I did the same on his legs. We did not have to say anything to one another in order for us to know the destination of the path that we had chosen, and we didn't say a word.
The faint whisper of the passing cars, and the wind through a nearby tree, created a mood of relaxed reverence and we both knew it. The trace of his hands became more intimate with every passing stroke of my body. Every nerve ending in my body was screaming for more and for the first time my mind was not disagreeing. I wanted him to take me in his arms and make my world a better place, which is exactly what he did. Before I knew what was happening, he had spun himself around to face me and from this point I was like putty in his hands.
He ran his tongue around one of my nipples, up my chest and along my jaw line. Quivering in anticipation, I could not wait for his next move. It was like playing chess and he was placing me in a stalemate kind of situation, and I was letting it happen. It had been almost seven years since I'd had anyone touch me the way he was touching me. I knew that I had chosen to be without anything or anyone for those seven years, but in that instant I did not know why I had chosen this for myself.
His lips were like the forbidden fruit, and pressed to mine I could now see why Eve had taken from the snake of evil so easily. My tongue roamed his mouth with a lust that was unequivocal. When we broke for air, he looked deep into my eyes and could see how much he had done already, but that was not enough for him. I could tell that he wanted to be inside me, he wanted to be part of me, he wanted all of me. I gave into him like a palm tree in a typhoon; he had uprooted my world and was ready to plant his seed.
With the warmth of the hot-tub and the water as a lubricant, he slipped into me with little difficulty. He moved like the water around us, fluid but strong, and made every thrust count. As he had before, caressing my sides with his hands and my face with his tongue, I found it hard to hold back anymore. He could tell from the quickening of my breath, and the tension in my muscles that the time was near.
In one swift movement he plucked himself from inside me and threw his lips over my ready to explode penis. With only a few bobs of his head and a swirl of his tongue I blew my load as if it was the only thing that would save my life. I was a withered mess, I melted into his arms and stroked him slowly while we just lay there. I did not want to fall asleep but it was just one of those things that were unavoidable. I drifted off to the land of nod like a sail boat in a breeze. He woke me with a smile that could have crumbled the hardest of hearts. I could hear the birds, and saw the sun on the rise, and realised that I must have been asleep for a good hour or so. We made our way to bed and just lay in each other’s arms, a comfort that was fleeting as my mind woke for the day.
""
Thanks guys and keep having fun
Mike
"And so the lion fell in love with the Lamb"
"What a stupid Lamb"
"What a sick, masochistic lion"
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
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I'm not going to criticise your tale. I'm going to do something else.
What I want is reality, and reality that is in keeping with the tone, colour, pace and characterisation of a story. I want rhythm, a tone poem in prose, that leads me to the next word, action, act.
I want sex when it is relevant to the plot and in the style of the plot and characters. I need adults to be adult, kids to be kids, and i can gloss over needing a crap or an enema because they interrupt a story. But I need the mechanics to work if sex is to be there.
I need words that I use for body parts. I need to be familiar with the terms you use or I will turn off at once. I need to see the body in front of me and desire it, and have it desire me. I need emotion, even the harsh emotion of a simple, rough fuck.
Read your piece again, which I have not since I don't criticise. Compare it with my needs. Does it meet them?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Mike, your question is unanswerable.
In the first instance you have to decide what you need to express. It is your work. You are the artist, the craftsman. It will either appeal to the reader or it won't. Even then each reader will have different individual needs.
The first story I wrote was about a sexual relationship and had graphic descriptions. That was because I had to get that out of my system in order to progress. Also I didn't have it published until after several other stories had been published.
Consequently my second story mentioned that sex was going on, but only hinted at it and for the time being that was my intent.
However, when I explored different themes and angles I found I needed to describe some sex in detail. That all came later.
In what I write now I describe sex scenes only because I think the stories need them. I hope that since my first story I have never written any gratuitous sex.
My readers may have a different view.
Hugs
Nigel
[Updated on: Sun, 16 August 2009 20:14]
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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JimB
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Likes it here |
Registered: December 2006
Messages: 349
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Many of the best authors that I read don't write for their audience they write for themselves. As long as they are happy with their work they could care less what the readers think.
I am more interested in the characters and their lives and how they interact with each other and society than in the sex they engage in. Most often I speed-read through the sex scenes, if the author describes them, so I can get onto what is significant to me.
JimB
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If you are an amateur writer that's probably true. If you're a professional you have to think of the £s/$s/€s. I certainly write for myself and the fact that someone else reads what I write is a bonus.
Hugs
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
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Well, now we've all been 100% unhelpful, has any of that actually been of any use to you?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Short Stories And Their Sex Scenes... 
