I expect simple behaviours here. Friendship, and love. Any advice should be from the perspective of the person asking, not the person giving! We have had to make new membership moderated to combat the huge number of spammers who register
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
Now some of you might think it's is a really weird thing to post on a site about men loving men. But that's your first mistake. Today fatherhood is open to every man. So, just accept that you can be a father if you so choose and listen to what I have to say about it.
It is an astounding and wonderful thing that I can not imagine anyone not loving...I mean absolutely loving it. Obviously, I'm a father.
Ok, so I had my kid in a traditional way. Big deal. The only thing a wee bit out of the ordinary with me was that I was months away from being 40 years old when my son was born. So naturally I am hughly in favor of parenting by older men. Why, I'm 58 and my son is still in high school and it's great. Just personal testimony.
But guys can have kids easily today. Rent-a-wombs can be had relatively cheaply in India. You can buy an egg, or get your sister or bestest girl friend to donate one. Face it, yes, you can be a father. So the great news is that it is an option for you! And I don't fuckin' care if you're fuckin' 70 years old.
It is an option for regardless of age. If you are responsible and can afford to look after a kid financially, I see no problem. There are trusts that you can dictate how your child is handled after you are gone, should that be a consideration.
I know that Timmy will have a problem with this. We've had these discussions before. I say that, age is no problem. And I claim greater knowledge of this than Timmy, simply because I am an older father and he was never that.
And I am absolutely certain that I could have not been a good father before the age that my son was born. And, also, I am so happy to be a father, retired from the workplace, and prepared to donate all of my free time to helping my son achieve independence. It's really cool to be old and still to be nurturing a young in'. You'll have to take my word for it.
So, what am I saying? I guess that I am talking to all of you that don't have a kid. I guess I am saying that gay bi, straight, or whatever does not count in the decision at all. I guess that I am saying that I find it huge fun and am recommending it to all of you. And finally, I guess I am saying, don't limit yourself because of anything...anything.
Max
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
Location: US/Canada
Registered: September 2009
Messages: 733
Related to Macky's post is an excellent article by ABCNews Senior Health & Lifestyle Correspondent Susan Donaldson James:
Post-1980s Children of Gay Parents Thrive in School, More Open Society
In 1994, Daddy Dave and Daddy Bob prepared 5-year-old Elizabeth Wall for the first day of kindergarten in New Jersey, meeting with the principal in advance to ease her transition as the daughter of two gay men.
They never learned until years later how insensitively the school reacted to their unconventional family, according to Wall, now 20 and a sociology major at The College of Wooster in Ohio.
"They had never had gay parents before," Wall told ABCNews.com. "It's funny, after the principal met with them, he went to the faculty and said, 'Who wants to take her?'"
Fortunately one teacher, who later became a close friend, volunteered and took the little girl under her wing in the classroom, but for years Wall was careful about only telling close friends that she had two fathers.
"Obviously I was different and didn't have a mom," she said. "We are living in a world that treats our families differently. It can be isolating and challenging."
Wall is one of a growing number of children, who affectionately call themselves "gaybies" or "queer spawn." Born after the AIDS crisis of the 1980s, they are now reshaping the American family.
Of the 270,000 children living with same-sex parents, about 65,000 are adopted. Most, like other Americans, are in two-child families
At 25 I'm starting to feel my biological clock ticking, at least a little. I'm not making any solid plans but I've started thinking/ daydreaming "it might be nice to have a kid one day".
I think if I had a girl I'd spoil her rotten and she'd end up an absolute diva/ princess. If I had a boy I think I'd risk either being too hard on them, trying to live vicariously through them.
At this stage it is just daydreaming, though.
I do think about my age, though. My mum was 16 when she had me and I LOVED having a young mum. I'm already going to be 10 years older than she was as a parent and I personally don't think I want to be a 60 year old with a teenage son/daughter.
I don't know, though. It depends on Ryan, too. He's not ready yet. I don't think I am either. Then again my 16 year old mum wasn't ready. But she became ready. Maybe leaping into it is actually for the best.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
LOL! I find your thinking out loud here very cute. Please, no offense, I'm not trying to be condescending. It just takes me back to my earlier years. It IS someting you have to think long and hard about. It is not something you have to fret about...tick-tock wise. I'll be 59 this year and my son will turn 20. Due to his many handicaps, he is a very young 19, socialy, mentally, and physically (he didn't produce growth hormone for much of his puberty). He will be a kid for quite a few more years I think. I just think it's really cool to have a son that people commonly mistake for my grandson. And when you are older, you have time to just sit back and enjoy your kid without worrying about job and relationship and a lot of other stuff that make one's youth less than ideal.
Max
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
I'd say there's no hurry, Saben. I always wanted children but was 29 when my first was born. I'm far from sure I was ready!
And my reason for saying that is that I was really worried that I had the balance I would need to bring up boys. I didn't have to face the problem as what we had was two girls.
But being older is better in several ways. One is likely to be established in one's work, to have a settled place to live, to have enough money so buying new shoes doesn't cause a major problem, to have learned not to run on too short a fuse and so on.
Location: USA
Registered: April 2009
Messages: 429
Saben, fatherhood first found me at age 49, at 3 o'clock in the morning, when my wife woke me up and told me her preg test came positive. Groggily, I told her congrats and went back to bed. Later that day, I was positively feeling great at the thought of becoming a father. Three months shy of my 50th birthday, my daughter Harmony Autumn was born. It's been a great ride so far.
Location: USA
Registered: April 2009
Messages: 429
I have grown a few grey hairs over the past four years. Interestingly, I made some personal discoveries about me being gay after the birth of my daughter too.
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
Ah, what you need to understand is that my way of dealing with things is to talk about them So I am fat. I am fatter because the meds for diabetes that they put me on are renowned for weight gain (they never told me) even when one strives to lose the weight. But I now live in a town with hills. And I am walking up those hills.
I'm concerned that I am fat, but not upset. I have a good and positive and realistic body image. I never swallowed a morsel of food by accident, so it is down to me to swallow fewer
But I am not old! I will never be old. My body may age, but I am living in it and I will not grow old.
Location: USA
Registered: April 2009
Messages: 429
Thanks, Max.
Just began to give Harmony piggy back rides. She just jumped onto my back and gave me the signal to go. No amount of back pain will deter me from my mission as her steed.
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
"But I now live in a town with hills. And I am walking up those hills."
THis reminds me of kiwi's recent episodes of Kaimoana Tales. Namely, the ones that deal with Lachlan. Got yourself a fireplace or woodburner? Chop wood. It'll heat you up twice...once in the chopping and once in the burning.
Max
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
Location: USA
Registered: November 2008
Messages: 973
Oooo! I feel for you man. Ibuprofen works best for piggyback burnout. I did so much floor play with my son that I developed callouses on my knees and the tops of my feet. Fathering offers experiences that you just can't get anywhere else. But all in all, I find that it retards the aging process quite a bit for the father. It'll keep you young man! Viva las muchachas!
Max
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
Ps 133:1 NASB
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Re: Fatherhood 
'Gayby Boom' Fueled by Same-Sex Parents 
Instead I am a fat one;)
