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warren c. e. austin
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Likes it here |
Location: Toronto, Ontario, CANADA
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 247
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With all the veiled accusations these past week, I don't know about others, but I feel terribly alientated here; and at age-52, that's a terrible feeling to a man who has spent a lifetime of giving and caring to all around him, often at the expense of himself.
I've felt this way for quite some time, and my publically "flaming" another member for his conduct here aside, is the principle reason why I seldom ever make an appearance here anymore.
I know I'm an "old fogey"; one whose opinions are seldom solicited, and even less desired; but I'm an old fogey who is getting awlfully tired of the forced "piety" and "sincerety" being liberally splashed about through "feel-good" messages and their ilk, when the transparence of those messages is enough to make me want to throw up.
The youngsters here at the Board have now, more than once, asserted that something is going on in the background; further suggesting that those of us who here who are "most visible" here have no knowledge of and understanding of it; and, despite our best efforts to get details of the problems from those making the assertions, nothing is being done about it.
The youngsters tell us that they are feeling threatened and unsafe here, at the one place they should be able to feel sheltered and comforted, in as much as the media of the internet will ever be condusive to such.
Well, it's time one of those "old people" spoke" up.
It embasses me to have to admit that I now feel threatened for the first time in my life because of my age, and given the temper of the times, because of that advanced age, I am (as too are all those here in similar cirucmstances) especially vulnerable, just as much if not more so than the youngsters making the claims of threatening behaviour by older adults who claim membership here.
It's time "TO SHIT OR GET OFF THE POT" young people. If you are being threatened, give us the names and e-Mail addresses of these perpetrators. If you are reluctant to *post* them publically here on the Board, then send them to the Board Owner and Moderator, "Timmy" - you'll find links to his e-Mail address everywhere; but, just in case you can't find it, here it it:
its_onlyme@hotmail.com
I quite frankly don't give a damn if all, or any of you, especially you youngsters "like" me, but I would never, ever wish it to be known that in times of duress, "you" regardless of your age, or circumstance, could not seek me out for guidance or assistance. The thought that you do feel that way has made be speak out in this manner.
I am not of "your" world. I have never claimed such familiarity, but I have lived it once, and quite frankly I wouldn't go through it again for all the "Tea in China" - being young is not all it's cracked up to being, and certainly is not the be all and end all to being "Gay".
Being "gay" is a young man's adventure. That's when it is most enjoyable. There is certainly nothing beneficial to being gay in advanced middle-age, or older, especially if having to endure the derision of the youth around us (as I sense it becoming here), is the price I have to pay for "being a member of the club".
Warren C. E. Austin
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Reading the post that this post has to do with, and it left me feeling a bit out of place. I'm not old, I'm not young either, I'm kinda caught in the middle. It does upset me that the younger ones here are being scared away. It also upsets me that being older left me feeling a bit unsure of whom to email or chat with. I've been chatting with a few of you younger guys, and have never once asked anything that i feel would be uncomfortable for any to answer. If I have then I truly am sorry.
I do agree with Warren, and the emails in question should be forwarded to Timmy, or at least the address that they came from so that they can be dealt with.
No one should be scared here.
Brian
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
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Actually I would prefer to receive infomration, if you choose to send it at its_onlyme@hotmail.com. I tend not to publish any of "my" iomfats.org addresses because they get harvested by spam robots and I get filled with spam from them.
I am not at all into posts that name names. You see, what so many people fail to realise is, a false accusation is libellous.
What I will commit to is NOT to treat any allegation I receive to my email address as a libel. BUT, for this to hold true you have to choose to trust me, AND you have to send it to no-one else as a copy, even a "blind copy" otherwise the copied party MAY treat it in a way you did not bargain on.
Really this is a minefield, and a direction I would prefer not to head in.
To put it simply, if YOU are perving on someone (I am not totally sure what that means), then stop. If you are being perved on, say "NO" clearly and distinctly.
This board is not an IRC chat room. It is my front room in my home. I do not expect you to seduce my friends or to be seduced by my friends. I am content that you may fall in love. I am content with love messages on the board.
I am NOT content with sleaze.
Now, what sanctions will I take?
Not a single one.
Why?
Because I am not controlling your lives, thoughts, hopes, fears, actions or any other part of you. All I have ever asked here, and all I WILL enforce is civilised expression of views. In short I will enforce politeness.
Warren, I have made a small edit in your post to change the email address to the one I choose to have posted on the net. That is the only change I have made.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I too feel out of place here. I am 20 years older and feel I have so little in common with many on the board. I would be delighted to feel I had a contribution to make, but what?
Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts or measure words
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
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Answering one message with a decent, open, honest answer from your heart may help someone. That is the most and least anyone can contribute
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Well, I do! 
Hugs!
-L
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Second, what the bloody hell are you talking about? Do you think you can just say it? Without all the foot stamping fluff?
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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smith
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On fire! |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 1095
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As a major member of the "I am a youngster" club, I gotta say that I do not feel threatened or unsafe EXCEPT when things like this are said. You are putting words in my mouth and I really don't like the feeling. I have never voiced any of these thoughts.
These accusations are making people nervous and for no good reason that I can see. Everyone on here who posts from the heart and from their life experiences is helping others. That's what this MB is all about. It has been and it will be a place of safety.
I,for one, do not feel the need to, as you so eloquently put it, "shit or get off the pot". If I had anything to say, it would have already been said....or maybe it just was.
smith
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As another member of the "youngster" club, Warren, I am not feeling threatened at all. As I posted in my reply to Drew, I've never been hurt in any way, and I am certainly not accusing you or anyone of doing so. I don't think I see any other "youngster" feeling threatened.
Also, I think Drew has been the only "accusation" you speak of. And unfortunately, I think Drew was working with false interpretations of what these e-mails he received were intended for. These were gentlemen trying to assist him and support him, and he may have taken it out of context.
Many people from the MB have told me to tell them if I'm feeling uncomfortable -- and have I said anything yet? Nope. Because I feel right at home, and not because I'm afraid to say anything.
-Tom
"Whatever is sought for can be caught, you know,
whatever is neglected slips away."
Oedipus Rex, lines 126-127
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
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I want this to be simple.
Drew, and "The Masked Lurker" each raised this topic. Each of them have valid potential concerns. And we, here, are unlikely to be immune to finding younger minds and bodies more appealing than old and wrinkly ones.
What we need to remember is that, here, age and beauty, real or perceived, is not relevant to our purpose. Instead we need to remind ourselves that we concentrate on the perosn and his or her needs.
A valuable lesson is not to deluge newcomer with "Email me" messages. Thatdoes tend to make the place look like a knocking shop, doesn't it?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Hmm. Here we go, I suppose 
Contributions are simple 
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