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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
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I want to remind you of something
The only person you need to come out to is yourself.
If you choose to tell other people, tell them because you choose to do so, not because you feel under any pressure to do so. And consider the circumstances that surround you to decide what is and is not safe for you.
And, while we consider safety, please remember that meeting folk, not just from the 'online world', but from anywhere, that is something that is both a good thing to do and something to be approached with good sense.
Predators do not lurk under every bush.
But some bushes have predators under them.
Learning which bushes are safe and which are not is not always easy. Even experienced folk can be fooled.
So, if you choose to come out, whenever you do that, think carefully about why you are doing it and to whom you are doing it. And do not, in your sudden huge relief at saying "I am gay" to yourself for the first time, do not leap into the arms of the first nice person who strokes your ego.
With an online person, form a relationship with pleasure, but learn everything about them before deciding to meet in the flesh. You will not be the first to fall for an easy charm and a fake picture and yo will not be the last.
A friend of mine in Illinois had a 3 month courtship with a man from out of state. Maybe he was naive, but he never recognised the minor celebrity's picture that was being used in the courtship. My friend is an experienced gay man, around my age. Yup, he was head over heels in love with a film star!
And coming out makes you so high, gives you such a rush, that you feel invulnerable.
So, as we head towards 11 October, please be safe, and do what you want to do for your own reasons. No-one has the right to pressure you into coming out, or into meeting, when you are not comfortable.
http://iomfats.org/oddsandends/meeting/goldenrules.html
[Updated on: Wed, 06 October 2010 23:36]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13751
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This slipped by almost unnoticed. I don;t need any comments on it, though other advice is always good. It just wanted to bring it up the list for a moment
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Thursday, October 7, 2010
Brody's Notes... "Come In, Come Out" At The Lesbian & Gay Foundation In Manchester UK
This National Coming Out Day and World Mental Health Day “Come In, Come Out” at The Lesbian & Gay Foundation (LGF) about anything you like.
The Lesbian & Gay Foundation are celebrating World Mental Health Day and National Coming Out Day by encouraging people to “Come In, Come Out”, all day on Monday 11th October, at their new home Number 5, Richmond Street, Manchester.
World Mental Health Day is marked on the 10th of October and was started by the World Federation for Mental Health in 1992. It is a unified effort to promote greater public awareness and understanding of mental health and mental illness.
National Coming Out Day is marked on the 11th of October in the United States, and October 12th in the UK. It started in 1988 to raise awareness of issues around coming out, and to encourage discussion and support around lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGB&T) issues.
Back in July the LGF launched a Pop-In service, based on feedback from people who use our services. The message people were giving us is that often they just need to speak to someone, without having to wait, about the sort of things that affect us all at one point of another, like relationships and family problems. So, we listened and took action!
As the Pop-In service has proved such a success, we have decided that it deserves an official launch day, in the form of "Come In, Come Out".
We will have trained staff and volunteers on hand from 10am, answering helpline calls and offering 40-minute pop-in sessions to anyone coming into Number 5. We can offer support, information, advice and even a cuppa and a piece of cake!
Lucy Rolfe, The Lesbian & Gay Foundation’s Wellbeing Co-ordinatorsays: “You can come out to us in confidence about anything that is bothering you, whether it's relationships, coming out, mental health issues, anything that’s on your mind. It goes back to the old saying that a problem shared is a problem halved - just talking to someone for half an hour about the things that are bothering you can make a world of difference to how you feel.”
There will also be a holistic therapist offering free homeopathy appointments between 2pm and 5pm. She will be offering advice and guidance on how to look after your mental and emotional wellbeing using holistic therapies.
If people can’t pop-in on Monday 11th October, but would still like to talk to someone in confidence, the LGF pop-in service and helpline - 0845 3 30 30 30 - are both available every day from 10am.
"Come In, Come Out".
Monday 11th October 10am to 10pm
Number 5, Richmond Street, Manchester M1 3HF
For more information please contact Samantha Days on 0845 3 30 30 30 or email Samantha.Days@lgf.org.uk
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... first realized and established in 1988, intended to recognize and memorialize the resolve and courage of some 500,000 souls who had a year earlier (1987) assembled and marched on Washington, D. C., in support of LGBTQ equality and civil rights. What had started out as a local day of celebration has morphed into being, not only an American national day of observance, but one that is slowly being adopted by LGBTQ organizations World-wide aimed at raising awareness of the LGBTQ community among the general populace in an effort to bring, and give, a familiar face to the LGBTQ rights movement. Presently The United Kingdom, The Nederlands, Canada, Germany, Switzerland, Poland and Croatia number amongst the many countries, who in addition to The United States of America, have declared this date for such observance, and hopefully some time soon the day may well be known as World Coming Out Day.
The process of "Coming Out" is an extremely personal, and should be an affirming, moment in an individual's life, and in light of, and especially given, recent circumstances surrounding the hate-biased, and -driven, deaths by suicide of numerous youngsters (both documented and not), and an alarming increase in incidences of gay-bashing, not just within the United States, but globally, is not a step to be taken with anything short of extreme vigilance and prudence, however purposefully.
I suggest instead, dependent entirely on it's merits alone, that each and everyone of us, regardless of whether we are personally self-identified as being Gay and declared Out and Proud within our own lives, that we choose to make this date the day where we support everyone's right to be the very best they can be, regardless of what that might turn out being with this being without regard to their race, their religion, their gender identification, their age, their politics or financial where-with-all; that we make this day, the day we collegially choose to support equality and justice for all, placing qualified emphasis upon LGBTQ injustices as we see them occurring World-wide; that we let no-one individual, or organization, ever again, step out from that closet of fear, hate, despair, self-loathing and insecurity be confronted by a climate of disapproval and nonacceptance by those around them, and instead that they be greeted by a welcoming tolerance and support by all and an environment conducent to each and everyone of them achieving their hearts desire.
Warren C. E. Austin
The Gay Deceiver
Toronto, Canada
[Updated on: Mon, 11 October 2010 14:00]
"... comme recherché qu'un délice callipygian"
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Re: As we head towards "Coming Out Day" 
