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You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > Literary Merit > Charlie by Hamen Cheese
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Charlie by Hamen Cheese  [message #66935] Wed, 25 July 2012 22:07 Go to next message
kiwi is currently offline  kiwi   New Zealand

Likes it here
Location: New Zealand
Registered: August 2009
Messages: 317



I'm really enjoying this excellent story - 20 chapters and i still haven't got a clue where it's going! The anti-hero, Derek, is very well done and oh-so true to life.

It's not often that such a fresh and original story comes along - wish i'd thought of it!

I'd give it two thumbs up and if you're not reading yet - well you should.

cheers
Re: Charlie by Hamen Cheese  [message #66945 is a reply to message #66935] Sun, 05 August 2012 19:27 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy   United Kingdom

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13454



I suppose it goes without saying that I'm enjoying it. I selected it for the site Smile



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Charlie by Hamen Cheese  [message #66950 is a reply to message #66935] Mon, 13 August 2012 04:59 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Hamen Cheese is currently offline  Hamen Cheese   Philippines

Getting started

Registered: August 2012
Messages: 3



I'm glad you're liking the story. I think I still have quite a few surprises before all this ends. Very Happy
Re: Charlie by Hamen Cheese  [message #66953 is a reply to message #66935] Sat, 18 August 2012 04:53 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Smokr is currently offline  Smokr   United States

Likes it here
Location: the burning former USofA
Registered: July 2010
Messages: 399



*raised hand*
Yeah, I'm hooked!
*readies whip*
Write!
Re: Charlie by Hamen Cheese  [message #66957 is a reply to message #66953] Mon, 20 August 2012 04:34 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Smokr is currently offline  Smokr   United States

Likes it here
Location: the burning former USofA
Registered: July 2010
Messages: 399



Oh, dude.
So good! I keep finding myself thinking of the characters as real, which happens so rarely. And the things that happen to and around them are so engaging. Chapter 26 is a great example, and one of the best chapters so far. And the ending of it was so intense and frustrating! Poor Derek, he just can't win. And it's so frustrating to watch. And poor Charlie, so torn and hurt.
I don't think you meant for it, but, oh man, how I'm hating Travis. He's not responsible for the letters and rumors, I'm sure. You write too well for that simple turn. I suspect you-know-who, but that may also be a red herring, judging by your style. Can't wait to find out.
This is the kind of story that brought me here, and the kind that keeps me here.
*puts the whip away*
You can take your time. This is too good to rush.
Just don't take too long.
*pats whip*

[Updated on: Wed, 22 August 2012 00:57]

Re: Charlie by Hamen Cheese  [message #66958 is a reply to message #66957] Mon, 20 August 2012 17:00 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy   United Kingdom

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13454



What I like here is that folk talk ABOUT the tale, and don;t all bow and scrape in deference to the author. I see that so often in other places and it it's creepy there!



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Charlie by Hamen Cheese  [message #66964 is a reply to message #66935] Mon, 27 August 2012 03:16 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Smokr is currently offline  Smokr   United States

Likes it here
Location: the burning former USofA
Registered: July 2010
Messages: 399



Okay. Wow. Found my leg hopping on my foot as I read this chapter.
I knew he4 wasn't leading he1 to he3, but not to whom he4 was leading him. Or what he4 was planning.
I'm really hating he4, too. Wondering if he4 has been sending the letters and fueling the rumors. Or, is it yet someone else? Not he3. He3 likes he2 too much. I'm not willing to lay any bets yet, but he4 is looking pretty guilty.
I hope he1 did do that to he4 and gets away with it. Honestly. But then, I'm sure that was intended by the author.
And he1 better not have had what was hinted at heppening at the end of the chapter, or I might have to pull that whip back out.
Do I sense a revelatory flash-back chapter next or will memories be worked into a current timeline? So delicious to have to wait to find out. And so many questions and concerns, too.
How is he2 doing? Was he2 hurt badly? Did he2 get help? Will he2 know that he1 couldn't help any more than the way he did? Or will he2 actually think he1 was part of he4's plan? NO!!! Why is he1 having what he's is having? Is he1 okay? Will he1 be okay? What has he1 repressed or forgotten? Is he2 part of that?
Yes, I didn't use any names, but anyone who's read it will know who I mean each time, and this way anyone who hasn't read it won't get any spoilers.
Can't wait for next chapter. Looks like I will have to go back and start from the beginning again next week.
Really love this story.
Re: Charlie by Hamen Cheese  [message #66967 is a reply to message #66964] Fri, 31 August 2012 02:42 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Smokr is currently offline  Smokr   United States

Likes it here
Location: the burning former USofA
Registered: July 2010
Messages: 399



oh
my
gawd
Re: Charlie by Hamen Cheese  [message #66968 is a reply to message #66967] Fri, 31 August 2012 19:02 Go to previous messageGo to next message
kiwi is currently offline  kiwi   New Zealand

Likes it here
Location: New Zealand
Registered: August 2009
Messages: 317



What he said ^ ^ ^
Re: Charlie by Hamen Cheese  [message #66969 is a reply to message #66968] Fri, 31 August 2012 23:56 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Smokr is currently offline  Smokr   United States

Likes it here
Location: the burning former USofA
Registered: July 2010
Messages: 399



It was strongly hinted that a flashback was coming, but I didn't expect what it revealed. Now that I re-read the previous chapters, the hints were there, but not enough to give it away.
I love it when I get one hint but miss or misinterpret others. Nice job. Dying to see how Derek deals, or doesn't. And this makes me wonder how/why Charlie has suppressed or forgotten or put aside those events.

<--------- ooooh! post 42!

[Updated on: Fri, 31 August 2012 23:57]

Are there other stories?  [message #66970 is a reply to message #66935] Sat, 01 September 2012 07:44 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy   United Kingdom

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13454



What you chaps need to do is to ask the author if he has other stories he would like to send me Smile



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Are there other stories?  [message #66971 is a reply to message #66970] Sun, 02 September 2012 01:35 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Smokr is currently offline  Smokr   United States

Likes it here
Location: the burning former USofA
Registered: July 2010
Messages: 399



Hey, Hammen Cheese, do you have other stories you would like to send Tim?
SAY YES!
*pats whip*
Re: Charlie by Hamen Cheese  [message #66972 is a reply to message #66964] Mon, 03 September 2012 18:17 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Hamen Cheese is currently offline  Hamen Cheese   Philippines

Getting started

Registered: August 2012
Messages: 3



Quote:
Smokr wrote on Mon, 27 August 2012 03:16Okay. Wow. Found my leg hopping on my foot as I read this chapter.
I knew he4 wasn't leading he1 to he3, but not to whom he4 was leading him. Or what he4 was planning.
I'm really hating he4, too. Wondering if he4 has been sending the letters and fueling the rumors. Or, is it yet someone else? Not he3. He3 likes he2 too much. I'm not willing to lay any bets yet, but he4 is looking pretty guilty.
I hope he1 did do that to he4 and gets away with it. Honestly. But then, I'm sure that was intended by the author.
And he1 better not have had what was hinted at heppening at the end of the chapter, or I might have to pull that whip back out.
Do I sense a revelatory flash-back chapter next or will memories be worked into a current timeline? So delicious to have to wait to find out. And so many questions and concerns, too.
How is he2 doing? Was he2 hurt badly? Did he2 get help? Will he2 know that he1 couldn't help any more than the way he did? Or will he2 actually think he1 was part of he4's plan? NO!!! Why is he1 having what he's is having? Is he1 okay? Will he1 be okay? What has he1 repressed or forgotten? Is he2 part of that?
Yes, I didn't use any names, but anyone who's read it will know who I mean each time, and this way anyone who hasn't read it won't get any spoilers.
Can't wait for next chapter. Looks like I will have to go back and start from the beginning again next week.
Really love this story.

--
Heck, even I needed to think out this puzzle for a bit! Haha.

As for other stories, I do have others also. But they're a completely different genre than Charlie. I actually lean towards writing (and reading) fantasy stories so I'm not sure Charlie fans will like my other stories. Charlie was a sort of experiment for me.

Whatever the case may be, I'll let Charlie finish first before I forward anything else to Timmy. Smile
Re: Charlie by Hamen Cheese  [message #66973 is a reply to message #66972] Mon, 03 September 2012 20:24 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy   United Kingdom

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13454



Never worry about current readers. Those who are loyal will love anything an author writes. Sometimes I wish that were not the case and that they would be more selective.

A new genre gains new readers. Does it matter if the old readers don't walk the road with the author?

[Updated on: Mon, 03 September 2012 20:24]




Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Charlie by Hamen Cheese  [message #66974 is a reply to message #66935] Mon, 03 September 2012 21:55 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Smokr is currently offline  Smokr   United States

Likes it here
Location: the burning former USofA
Registered: July 2010
Messages: 399



Nothing wrong with fantasy. Heck, I've even written a few stories that have no gay characters and take place in unreal worlds and timelines.
Anyone who's read the long story I have here will easily be able to tell I like fantasy and science fiction, as many/most of my characters do, or play D&D, or watch movies in the genres.
And then there's All Hollow's Eve here, and if that's not fantasy/fiction, wtf is?
Re: Charlie by Hamen Cheese  [message #66986 is a reply to message #66974] Sat, 08 September 2012 22:45 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Smokr is currently offline  Smokr   United States

Likes it here
Location: the burning former USofA
Registered: July 2010
Messages: 399



Gads. 28 and 29 were tough chapters to read. Not hard to read, just filled with things that are hard to read. 30 wasn't all that much easier, but at least there wasn't as much painful material.
30 leaves me wondering how this can possibly end without horror. Did he1 do it, but forgot, like he1 seems so capable of doing? At least he had good timing for he2. And he3 has got to start cutting some slack for he1.
So long as he4 is out of the show. How much hatred can a character have? Geeze. Still don't think he4 wrote the letters. He 3 did? Ehhhh, maybe.
Now the police are involved. Please don't let he1 get in that kind of trouble and end it that way. He didn't do it, right?
Re: Charlie by Hamen Cheese  [message #66987 is a reply to message #66986] Sun, 09 September 2012 09:01 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy   United Kingdom

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13454



"He he he he!"

ROFLMAO!



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Charlie by Hamen Cheese  [message #66988 is a reply to message #66987] Sun, 09 September 2012 18:06 Go to previous messageGo to next message
kiwi is currently offline  kiwi   New Zealand

Likes it here
Location: New Zealand
Registered: August 2009
Messages: 317



"Oh what a tangled web we weave . . " Still lovin' it!
Re: Charlie by Hamen Cheese  [message #66991 is a reply to message #66935] Mon, 10 September 2012 22:40 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Smokr is currently offline  Smokr   United States

Likes it here
Location: the burning former USofA
Registered: July 2010
Messages: 399



Wow. Never saw that coming. None of it. I choked-up on the last paragraphs. Those last lines really hurt.
You obviously have mastered the cliff-hanger judging by the chapter endings so far - I cringe at what the ending must be.
Two chapters to go and I have no idea what's next. It felt like a hard ending right there in 31.
Now I have to go curl up and feel sad for a while.
Re: Charlie by Hamen Cheese  [message #66999 is a reply to message #66935] Sat, 15 September 2012 19:31 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Smokr is currently offline  Smokr   United States

Likes it here
Location: the burning former USofA
Registered: July 2010
Messages: 399



Finally, a breather! No, not a heavy winded caller, a chance to relax a bit. Some settling down and a chance to regroup.
Nice tie with big, fat, and ugly. LOL
Smooth chapter. Soft and gentle for a change. Sad, but not all sappy. Some hope to dull the sharp anguish.
Two chapters left, and I cannot wait.
Re: Charlie by Hamen Cheese  [message #67012 is a reply to message #66935] Thu, 20 September 2012 01:15 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Smokr is currently offline  Smokr   United States

Likes it here
Location: the burning former USofA
Registered: July 2010
Messages: 399



This was easily one of the best stories I've read. It needs some editing, but the story itself is touching, interesting, unpredictable, rich, and just plain enjoyable.
The characters are developed well for such a short story, too. And I found myself really envisioning them through the story.
I don't mind admitting I shed a few tears at the ending, and I still was smiling as well.
I'm left wanting more, and that is a sign of a good story indeed.
The final reveal of the bad guy was nicely done, and I wasn't right with any of my guesses.
There were a couple of loose ends, but they hang nicely.
The opening for a followup left me wanting that story now. Now, dang it!
Thanks for sharing your story, I enjoyed it a great deal, and I'm looking forward to more from you Hamen Cheese.

[Updated on: Thu, 20 September 2012 01:19]




raysstories.com
Re: Charlie by Hamen Cheese  [message #67013 is a reply to message #67012] Thu, 20 September 2012 07:55 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy   United Kingdom

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13454



I've no idea whether there is a 'part 2' or not. If there isn't already I'm tempted to suggest it stays unwritten. I can't think of a further impossible quest that these lads can resolve. And good stories need an impossible quest!

Of course, I may be wrong Smile



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Charlie by Hamen Cheese  [message #67020 is a reply to message #67013] Mon, 24 September 2012 02:19 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Hamen Cheese is currently offline  Hamen Cheese   Philippines

Getting started

Registered: August 2012
Messages: 3



The request for a sequel are somewhat mixed for this story. Some want one written while others feel that the story ended just right and might get spoiled by a sequel. If the question is do I have a plot for a sequel, the answer is yes and I'm pretty sure I still have a few surprises to throw out. Wink The problem though is that I do not have yet the inspiration to turn those thoughts into words. Writing them now would definitely kill off the series. So I'm focusing my efforts into other areas first.

I will, in the meantime, leave the fates of my characters here to your imagination. Smile

Anyway, thanks to everyone who read my story. It's the feedback that I write for really and I'm glad a lot of them are positive. Very Happy
Re: Charlie by Hamen Cheese  [message #67042 is a reply to message #67020] Sat, 29 September 2012 23:28 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Pulsar132 is currently offline  Pulsar132   United Kingdom

Getting started
Location: Kent
Registered: September 2012
Messages: 29




I've read your story. Wow. I'm glad you done the epilogue. Without it your story would of been one of the most saddest story ending I've ever read.
Spent 9hours flat reading it. Every minute was great.
I love how you've left the story. Whilst trying to sleep after finishing, The rest of their lives played in my head, how Charlie move to his uncles and such. I don't think a part 2 is needed. You've left the story for the reader to decide Smile

in short I loved your story! Smile



I'll update with some wise words of wisdom when i can think of something....[/center]
Re: Charlie by Hamen Cheese  [message #71355 is a reply to message #67042] Mon, 11 April 2016 00:42 Go to previous messageGo to next message
dookie11 is currently offline  dookie11   United States

Getting started
Location: dallas, TX
Registered: March 2016
Messages: 17



What a wonderful story !!
I was everywhere emotionally .

I'm glad you let them be okay .
Like you said , there's too much sadness most time .
You can't get everything rosy , but a good heart does help !
Thanks for letting me know them .
dael


Re: Charlie by Hamen Cheese  [message #71356 is a reply to message #71355] Mon, 11 April 2016 08:23 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy   United Kingdom

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13454



I have wondered if Hamen Cheese has written more stories for us. He said, once, that he would send me some he felt appropriate

I end up asking authors all the time and I don't want it to look like nagging!

We're having a "please email your author" drive when folk love stories. Wouldn't it be lovely to ask your favourite authors for more and to tell them by email just how much you like them

[Updated on: Mon, 11 April 2016 08:26]




Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Charlie by Hamen Cheese  [message #71372 is a reply to message #67042] Sun, 17 April 2016 05:06 Go to previous message
dookie11 is currently offline  dookie11   United States

Getting started
Location: dallas, TX
Registered: March 2016
Messages: 17



I REALLY liked this story !
Like others said , they are real in my mind .
They ARE real ? Right ?

They are my friends !

dael



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