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You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > Literary Merit > You Missed a Bit
You Missed a Bit  [message #71463] Mon, 02 May 2016 08:27 Go to next message
timmy   United Kingdom

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13454



I have had a couple of pieces of inspiration recently, sufficient to write two short stories. One is awaiting Cold, Wet, and Muddy's opening for voting, and the other, You Missed a Bit, is published today.

I have tried twice now to write a story I was happy with about the boy I have loved since September 1965. The first was The Walk. That, for me, failed to meet my own needs.

You Missed a Bit is a letter of love, written to and about the boy of my obsession, one he will never see though one he might recognise were he to see it. It was thus tempting to use his real name, to draw him in, assuming he searches for himself online. But the circumstances surrounding another boy in the tale, also real, made it a doubly rude thing to do.

I hope you find it worthy of your attention.

[Updated on: Wed, 04 May 2016 07:49]




Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: You Missed a Bit  [message #71482 is a reply to message #71463] Wed, 04 May 2016 04:40 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Smokr is currently offline  Smokr   United States

Likes it here
Location: the burning former USofA
Registered: July 2010
Messages: 399



You did it again, Tim. Another amazing story. I kept forgetting to keep an eye on the grammar/syntax/punctuation because I was so engrossed in the story/scene/dialog aspects. What technicalities I remembered to keep an eye on were flawless and easily prevented drawing any attention. The pace was awesome, leaving out so much of the fluff and side-stories, yet hinting at them with quick references. Phrasing and word use was great. And I liked the way the emotions and mental impacts of the narrators actions and activities were described: I knew what he felt without having it shoved in my face. And what he felt and thought was fantastic! The 'sex' was cute and adorable, frankly. The characters were real and engaging. I was almost pissed at first when Pete vanished, and worried I'd not learn anything about his 'breakdown' or what happened to him afterward.
All followed by good examples of a proper closing chapter and an epilogue.

I'll get to the Cold, Wet, and Muddy stories sooner or later. My own, perhaps, but so little time for it.

And I don't care your word correct thinks epilogue is archaic, I will continue to use it.

[Updated on: Wed, 04 May 2016 04:46]




raysstories.com
Re: You Missed a Bit  [message #71484 is a reply to message #71482] Wed, 04 May 2016 07:48 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy   United Kingdom

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13454



In real life we were all perplexed when the real boy who was portrayed by Pete vanished, too. And I found out in precisely the way Jamie found out many years later. I never liked the boy who was forced out, but I have long seethed over the unfairness of it.

Your compliment, nay compliments, are lovely. Thank you. All the characters are drawn from life, edited to a greater or lesser extent, and placed back into their altered lives. I know these characters better than any others I have written.

[Updated on: Wed, 04 May 2016 07:48]




Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: You Missed a Bit  [message #71485 is a reply to message #71484] Wed, 04 May 2016 08:25 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Jolyon Lewes   United Kingdom

Toe is in the water
Location: SW England
Registered: September 2012
Messages: 56



There is such a palpable ring of truth to this tale that it reads a little like a documentary but I hasten to say that its content is a good deal more exciting than you find in your average TV documentary!

As Timmy says in his epilogue, the film If ... is like a documentary, at least up to the café scene, and when I first saw the film I was very clearly reminded of life in my own boarding school. Watching the film was both fascinating and scary - and I wish we'd seen more of the delicious Bobby Phillips.

I have never agreed with those who declare schooldays to be the happiest of your life - mine weren't - but they were some of the most emotional days of my life and Timmy's fine story reminded me of countless details of those far-off days, little things that happened in the classrooms, in the changing rooms, in the surrounding countryside and in the mind. Some of those little things seemed not so little at the time.

My sexual and emotional development took place much later than Timmy's and I didn't do the raunchy things his characters do; I was self-conscious and introverted throughout my teens, just like most of the main characters in my own stories.



Jolyon
Re: You Missed a Bit  [message #71492 is a reply to message #71485] Thu, 05 May 2016 08:21 Go to previous messageGo to next message
solsticeman is currently offline  solsticeman   United Kingdom

Likes it here

Registered: November 2012
Messages: 105



It's a work of pure genius, in both senses. It is both genius and pure. An absolute delight that we should read and treasure and come back to.

Smokr and Jolyon have said everything I wanted to say, and to ramble would be self-indulgent.

So, do please read this, you will miss so much sheer delight if you don't
Re: You Missed a Bit  [message #71495 is a reply to message #71492] Thu, 05 May 2016 13:30 Go to previous message
timmy   United Kingdom

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13454



You are all very kind. I am basking in the praise. It's hard to be webmaster, editor and critic. I know some of my earlier efforts are not really worthy of a place here, but that is when I read them today. From the kind reception, You Missed a Bit has a right to be here.

Rupert Webster, who played Bobby Phillips, was much adored by the chap whose bath he ran. The making of the film was a delicious torture for the person attended by master Phillips. There were unfounded rumours that he had been slain in New York by a knife wielding assailant, fortunately untrue.

Jay in my story was far better looking in my view that Rupert, and his voice didn't grate on the ear, unlike Rupert's



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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