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You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > Real or imagined?
Real or imagined?  [message #76194] Fri, 15 November 2019 00:53 Go to next message
luvtwinks is currently offline  luvtwinks   United States

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Registered: August 2018
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So...I have a vague memory that I'm not sure is a real memory or one that was manufactured. Let me explain. Part way through watching the 1988 TV mini series "I Know My First Name Is Steven" based on the true story of a child abducted and sexually abused by his captor for years, I recalled a vague memory. That memory was my uncle putting his penis in my face and telling me to pretend it was a lollipop. I would have been maybe 6 or 7 years old at the time. I had no recollection of the incident until I saw that TV movie. And that movie freaked me out way more than it should have. Just wondering if that movie may have sparked a real memory or did it just fuel some hidden fear? I was 23 years old when the movie was on TV. Having said that, I'm OK but I wonder if the movie made me manufacture a false memory or not? Here's a link to the promo for that movie. https://youtu.be/m_TU5MHY6ro
Re: Real or imagined?  [message #76195 is a reply to message #76194] Fri, 15 November 2019 03:04 Go to previous messageGo to next message
arich is currently offline  arich   United States

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Location: Seaofstars
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We are a very suggestible lot us humans. Check out the first issue of Brain Games, a documentary series from National Geographic.

Thing is they say many of our memories are constructs of all kind of input. Though I believe some have the ability to remember quite clearly..

Check out that show, you'll be amazed.

You have 10 people witness an act, surprise, you get 10 different stories of what they saw happen. And those "memories" can be changed through suggestion by a stranger inserted into the group... That wasn't there.

The human mind is a bit more mailable than most of us want to admit I think.
Re: Real or imagined?  [message #76198 is a reply to message #76195] Fri, 15 November 2019 05:06 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Teddy is currently offline  Teddy   United States

Really getting into it
Location: USA
Registered: October 2006
Messages: 425



Your memories are more than likely not manufacured or false. Many who are sexually abused have no recollection of those events for years or even decades following the events of abuse. Many times, when they do recall the events after years of not remembering they question their own sanity. 

I was abused as a kid and also expeirenced an amnesia about what had happened. When I did remember I sought out a qualified mental health professional who specialized in treating males who'd been abused. Most who work in this field are very professional in how they interact with their clients so as NOT to inadvertently insert false memories into the minds of their clients. You might consider consulting with such a psychologist if this issue or memory continues to weigh on your mind.



“There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is.” - Terry Pratchett
Re: Real or imagined?  [message #76199 is a reply to message #76194] Fri, 15 November 2019 08:53 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy   United Kingdom

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13516



What matters is whether it is important to you. You present it as simply an 'interesting' thing that happened in your life, and one whose significance you understand but have not allowed to have any power over you.

If it helps any, when I watch things like that story my brain goes into overdrive. While I am certain sure I have not been abused, not exactly, I think I was, as were we all, by a school master, in class, at his desk [aged 8], and I was offered the 'opportunity' to be by another, something I declined (aged 14).

[Updated on: Sat, 16 November 2019 17:41]




Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Real or imagined?  [message #76210 is a reply to message #76194] Sun, 17 November 2019 16:43 Go to previous messageGo to next message
pandareader is currently offline  pandareader   Brazil

Toe is in the water

Registered: October 2019
Messages: 51



How our brains perceive things and "store" them as memories  and how we recall these memories is a complex process that we do not fully understand. Memories can be tricky and can be affected or subject to suggestion (which is NOT saying that all memories are false or that everything that we remember did not happen).

Besides that documentary that arich suggested, there´s also an interesting playlist from ted talks that deals with memory that might be of interest: https://www.ted.com/playlists/196/the_complexity_of_memory

Quote:
What matters is whether it is important to you. You present it as simply an 'interesting' thing that happened in your life, and one whose significance you understand but have not allowed to have any power over you.

 
Quote:
...qualified mental health professional (..) very professional in how they interact with their clients so as NOT to inadvertently insert false memories into the minds of their clients. You might consider consulting with such a psychologist if this issue or memory continues to weigh on your mind.

I agree with Timmy and Teddy that what matters is that if it´s an issue for you or  if it´s weighing on your mind. If that´s the case, take into consideration what Teddy said and make sure to look for a qualified health professional. 
Re: Real or imagined?  [message #76221 is a reply to message #76199] Sun, 17 November 2019 23:03 Go to previous message
luvtwinks is currently offline  luvtwinks   United States

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Registered: August 2018
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"timmy wrote on Fri, 15 November 2019 08:53"
What matters is whether it is important to you. You present it as simply an 'interesting' thing that happened in your life, and one whose significance you understand but have not allowed to have any power over you.


--
Yes Timmy, I would say it's an 'interesting' thing that may or may not have happened. Oddly, I'm not particularly bothered by it. But solely to satisfy my curiosity I would like to know if it really happened or not. I may never know and that's OK. 
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