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You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > I understand "Trans" on a person by perosn basis
I understand "Trans" on a person by perosn basis  [message #75901] Fri, 13 September 2019 22:38 Go to next message
timmy   United Kingdom

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13458



I understand my cousin, born male, self identified as female. I understand how things go awry when we are being gestated (or are we gestating?) and being born, nourished, nurtured. I understand sensitivity to pronouns. What empathetic person could not understand these things

I find it difficult to the point of truly hard to extrapolate this understanding to the general population of folk who identify as a different sex from the sex apparent in their physical makeup. I am content with those who are intersex being able to be the person they have discovered they are, but I think that to be a subtly different topic.

But... I do not spend my life feeling that I am male. I just feel like me. I also do not spend my life feeling I am homosexual.  I just feel like me.

I am more likely to feel homosexual than I am to feel male, because I associate myself with being homosexual when considering, for example, small villages in the 1800s, and how hard it must have been to be attracted to other males.

I've been trying to work out when I last felt male. I need to know which sex I am when visiting a public toilet, but more for social convention than any other reason. Owners of a penis are not often welcome in a female toilet. Apart from that I doubt I have ever felt male per se. I don't mean that I've felt female. I mean I haven't felt of either sex. I'm just me.

Yet I know that, were I to feel I were trapped in the wrong body, then I would almost certainly feel female. Or I might just feel wrong and wronged by fate. I'm not sure, because I cannot know.

I saw a news item today which prompted this. They don't necessarily feel male nor female. Well, me neither. Actually, literally, that is 'me, neither', for I've said, I don't feel male. I don't feel fluid, male sometimes, female other times. I just feel like me. I don't say this to detract in any manner from their deeply held feleings. I say it to try to understand the issue better.

[Updated on: Mon, 16 September 2019 16:47]




Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: I understand "Trans" on a person by perosn basis  [message #75902 is a reply to message #75901] Mon, 16 September 2019 20:30 Go to previous messageGo to next message
luvtwinks is currently offline  luvtwinks   United States

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Quote:

But... I do not spend my life feeling that I am male. I just feel like me. I also do not spend my life feeling I am homosexual.  I just feel like me.

Exactly! I've always felt I was uniquely "me". Anatomically all male. But emotionally neither male nor female. Just "me". 
Re: I understand "Trans" on a person by perosn basis  [message #75903 is a reply to message #75902] Wed, 18 September 2019 03:09 Go to previous messageGo to next message
arich is currently offline  arich   United States

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Yeah just, being, is good for a start. Don't sweat the small stuff like labels.

Hey Timmy what's up?✌️

I've come to realise we are far more fluid than we fathom.
Re: I understand "Trans" on a person by perosn basis  [message #75912 is a reply to message #75903] Sun, 22 September 2019 00:51 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Mark   United States

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I suppose that it is difficult to understand someone else's situation when we are not in that situation ourselves.  We are happy with the reproductive organs we have, so we don't give it much thought.  We don't know what it's like to be in a position of saying that the reproductive organs we have aren't the reproductive organs we believe we're supposed to have.  There's just isn't really a common point of reference.

But then, as Arich pointed out, perhaps we, as a society, are, to a certain extent, too  fixated on trying to put labels on people when people are far too complex to really be described in one or two words.
Re: I understand "Trans" on a person by perosn basis  [message #75917 is a reply to message #75901] Sun, 22 September 2019 20:37 Go to previous messageGo to next message
arich is currently offline  arich   United States

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I often find the materialism I seem to be so rooted in somewhat of a hindrance.

When I look at it, well, what do I become, a little prick, relatively speaking😲, well yes but it sure seems like the center of the univers

I feel when we become more than our junk, we can only enhance what we are and what we may be capable of becoming.

The possibilities are limitless. 
Re: I understand "Trans" on a person by perosn basis  [message #75940 is a reply to message #75917] Fri, 27 September 2019 01:48 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Teddy is currently offline  Teddy   United States

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Hmmm... I have always felt intrinsically male, but that's me. I have some friends who identify as MTF trans and they tell a much different story. In the end we all have a story and it may well be different in some way from that of another.

The trouble comes when I as an individual refuse to "hear" the story of another and thus actively or passively make their life harder by my actions or attitude. In the end, I've discovered that I have enough problems to face in my own life without feeling threatened by or feeling the need to act punitively on the story of another, unless they are or have engaged in abuse of someone else.





“There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is.” - Terry Pratchett
Re: I understand "Trans" on a person by perosn basis  [message #75951 is a reply to message #75940] Sat, 28 September 2019 01:54 Go to previous messageGo to next message
arich is currently offline  arich   United States

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Location: Seaofstars
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Messages: 563



As I've read this thread, something that may seem totally unrelated percolated into my thoughts.

A few years ago there as NationalGeo documentary called, "Brain Games." The crux was that we really don't see very clearly, well not see but what is perceived and how subjective those perceptions are.

Is the green you see the same green I see? Or is it that we only find our selves subjects of conditioning?

The variation that we can observe on a historic level is very telling. I feel we limit the complexity of what we are.

Who do we think we are? LOL I hardly know what to think of my self much less anyone else...I do not know!

Are we destined to play mind games?
I understand "Trans" on a person by person basis, sometimes  [message #76907 is a reply to message #75901] Tue, 19 May 2020 18:50 Go to previous message
timmy   United Kingdom

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13458



On Twitter I follow a person who is, to me, very attractive. They wear makeup and wear it well. They are a sex worker in the broadest sense in that they make and sell videos on a commercial site, under theior own control, with their own production values. Theirr profile on Twitter says "Hi hi x 5'5 22 tomboy NB" and I have no idea what 'NB' means in this context.

I'm not sure whether their videos are tasteful nor to your taste, but I find then amusing, and mainly erotic, certainly explicit.

I have thought of this person as a boy who enjoys female gloss and glamour, who makes the best of their attributes. One of those attributes is androgyny, a thing I have alwasy adored. The
y also wear clothes like a fashion model, but tend to wear very few.

They did, recently, a Q&A session. And this one surprised me. I'll say why in a moment. Reading further I met their pronouns, which explains why I'm using them.

The surprise is that I had not noticed any effect of hrt. There are no enhanced breasts, yet she has been having hrt for 16 months.

Her body, her mind, her privilege; that's important. I'm not criticising her in any way. The perosna she projects is adorable, and I love her attributes. I'm just having a little trouble [my issue, not hers] in understanding why, especially since she adores anal sex with toys and her boyfriend.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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