Jackboy
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Toe is in the water |
Location: North UK
Registered: August 2016
Messages: 69
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I did give some thought to not releasing this, for two reasons.
1. Perhaps I have said or posted too much here already, and perhaps you need a rest from me for a while.
3. The poem shows a little of how it was to loose so many 'Close and loved ones' and how I began to deal with it. And that perhaps
it should stay within myself or my immediate circle. But I also decided after Mum died, that the carpet was lumpy enough, without sweeping anything else
beneath it. I also know that they never really leave us completely. They just visit when we think and remember certain times with them. Awake or not.
And if this can help anyone along their own journey of Grief, then it is here for them. As am I.
So here is Some Thoughts on Grief.
There's an often used phrase, I'd like to tell,
And it sometimes suits me rather well.
If you love someone but can't let go, then set them free.
And if love's 'two-way - they'll return to me.
But what can I say now my family's gone? - leaving me alone to carry on.
Perhaps they're still with me, in my mind and heart,
Then why won't this awful grief depart?
The bottomless sorrow tearing my life apart.
Frustrating all attempts to restart.
Perhaps it's time to say "Goodbye".
Though I can't always understand why,
Perhaps if I say "Adieu", then I'll always remember, all of you.
I do know that Grief's there, to remind us someone's gone,
But with so much grief,
I don't know which grief is for which one.
So if I say "I let you go", this time you won't return - I know.
And having said "Goodbye" and "Adieu",
Then why does the pain and sorrow just renew.
Eight loved ones missing from Roll Call,
In ten short years, a heavy toll.
Two Aunts, a Brother, and a Sister too,
My Dad then Mum; and both dogs - two.
If questioned why dogs are also in there,
The love from Ben and Luci are beyond compare.
It's hard to say "Goodbye" and "Adieu",
To those dogs who as only few can know,
Have enriched and saved me so.
But to say "Goodbye" in my own way,
Means they'll forever and together play.
But for Mum and Dad I know,
"Goodbye" and "Adieu" are the hardest call.
My childhood from you - progressive, idyllic; and always new.
Dad never laid a finger on me I know,
And later, Mum's fingers came through the window.
Some say it takes a while to reconcile grief,
Then why does it take so long, for us to start feeling relief?
But in my mind I guess I know; that the pain may never go.
Deep in my heart I also know, this is where memories of them [will] go.
As I travel this road alone, I wonder who to turn to.
But there are also fellow travellers who, will also have their loneliness too.
And as I wonder how to carry on, I know I'm not the only one.
Who's had to say their own "Adieu", to someone special just like You.
In the depths of night I cry alone, yet that's alright as I'm at home.
But during the day, with people there - Some stop to wonder why - and want to care.
But I can't explain they cannot see,
There's so much missing, out of me.
Now recently my friends you see, invite me home, and call me "Family".
This means so much, I cannot tell, but upon this grief I must not dwell.
There's something else I know so well,
"You carry on and do your best" - a phrase Mum and Dad would use, above the rest.
Finally, in all this sorrow and amiss, I want to tell the reader this,
In the darkest hours of time alone, I could never leap to the Great Un-known.
Because instead of "Goodbye" and "Adieu", I'd rather say "Hello"- to all of you.
And while Jack needs time to re-new perhaps he's been remote from you.
But with 2013 coming through - he still has lots of work yet to do.
Although so many are no longer around, The Great Circle of Life still goes round,
As so many new loved-ones; now us surround;
There's Great Nephews Conal, Noah and Acer to be found;
and perhaps my God-son Riley will come round.
By Jack D. H.
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